Understanding and Helping Grieving Children with Jacey Ludlam, M.S. (Part 2)

In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Dr. Christina Zampitella and licensed counselor Jacey Ludlam continue exploring how grief shows up in children — and how caregivers, teachers, and clinicians can recognize the signs, respond with compassion, and support healing over time.

From behavioral shifts to developmental impacts, Jacey unpacks how grief manifests across different ages — including misdiagnoses like ADHD, internalized shame, and dissociation. The episode also offers practical insights for caregivers: how to talk to kids about death, what art and play can reveal, and when it’s time to seek professional help.

Whether you're a parent, therapist, or someone who supports children, this episode offers grounded, trauma-informed guidance you can use right now.

Chapters:

00:00 – Intro 01:00 – How grief shows up in children’s play, art, and behavior 03:45 – Misdiagnosis: Grief vs. ADHD 07:00 – The role of trauma in overlapping mental health conditions 10:00 – Judgment, shame & guilt in 7–9 year olds 12:00 – Using art to process grief 14:00 – Giving children safe choices when expressing emotions 17:00 – Signs of healing in grieving children 20:00 – Why grief resurfaces across developmental stages 23:00 – 3 key ways to support a grieving child 25:00 – How to answer difficult questions about death 28:00 – Age-appropriate language & metaphors 30:00 – Should kids attend funerals or viewings? 33:00 – The danger of leaving kids in the dark 36:00 – Creative expression & storytelling as tools for healing 38:00 – Why peer groups matter for grieving kids 40:00 – When is professional help necessary? 44:00 – The long-term effects of dissociation 46:00 – What happens when a child’s self-concept breaks down 47:30 – How serious illness changes a child’s understanding of death 49:00 – Closing thoughts & what’s coming next

Grief doesn’t skip over children — but it often gets overlooked or misunderstood.

In this episode, Dr. Z is joined by childhood bereavement expert Jacey Ludlam, M.S. from the Center for Grief and Trauma Therapy to talk about what grief looks like at different developmental stages, how to spot the signs in children who “seem fine,” and how adults can offer the kind of support that truly helps.

Whether you're a parent, caregiver, educator, or clinician, this conversation offers compassionate, practical insights into how to show up for grieving kids — without overwhelming them or shutting them down.

00:00 – Welcome & Episode Overview 01:48 – How Cindy got into grief work 04:30 – Do children really understand death? 07:02 – Developmental stages of childhood grief 09:45 – Signs of grief in younger kids vs. teens 13:15 – What children often fear but won’t say 15:40 – Why honesty matters (and how to do it right) 19:22 – Common mistakes adults make with grieving children 23:10 – Using rituals and legacy items to support healing 25:55 – Grieving in schools: what teachers should know 29:15 – How to keep the door open for hard conversations 32:40 – When to consider therapy for a grieving child 35:20 – Final thoughts & practical takeaways

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. These are the “stages of grief”. Does this really describe the whole experience of grief and bereavement? What are some better ways to think about and navigate grief?

About Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z In life, we so often avoid the complex and personal expression of grief. The avoidance makes it difficult to explore and share our grief in our everyday lives. Yet, it is a natural and universal human experience. In Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z, we will be deconstructing and highlighting the different aspects of grief and loss.

If you found this podcast helpful please share it, subscribe, and leave a rating or review wherever you get your podcasts. We want to be a resource for anyone who is experiencing loss and this is a simple way you can help us spread the word. If you are struggling with grief and need some professional help we encourage you to find a licensed therapist, and if you can, one who specializes in trauma, death, loss, and grief. If you are in Delaware you can reach out to The Center for Grief and Trauma Therapy at www.CenterForGriefTherapy.com, or by calling (302) 635-0505