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Host Tara McCausland speaks with Pathway to Recovery co-host Jonathan L. Jonathan starts by sharing his adolescent internet porn exposure and how curiosity eventually led to pornography addiction. He shares how his behavior intensified after his mother died when he was 14, and produced shame, compartmentalization, lying, and “white-knuckle” sobriety. After marriage, he disclosed to his wife, relapsed, hid again, and later experienced suicidal ideation. This was followed by Divine help that came after a heartfelt prayer. He was soon after introduced to SAL 12-step and has been working recovery since 2021. Tara and Jonathan define top lines, bottom lines, and boundaries, and discuss creative top-line practices to build trust, raise bottom lines (e.g., removing social media), and emphasize incremental progress, accountability, celebrating wins, and choosing recovery over addiction.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:14 Podcast Milestones and Listener Shoutout
02:39
03:06 Early Exposure and Addiction Roots
04:41 Loss, Grief, and a Double Life
05:44 Mission, Marriage, and First Disclosure
08:50 Suicidal Ideation and Turning Point
10:35 Recovery Begins - Participating in SAL 12-Step and Therapy
13:35 Compassion for Younger Self
18:27 Defining Top Lines, Bottom Lines, Boundaries
21:54
22:44 Turning Alone Time into Trust Building Moments
24:05 Celebrating Progress
25:13
26:35 Sponsor Vision Exercise
27:06 Positive Recovery Mindset - Living by Top Lines
30:02 Weeds vs Flowers Reframe
30:36 Bottom Lines as Guardrails
31:17 Raising Bottom Lines
34:33 Addressing Overwhelm and Striving for 1% Better
37:44 Celebrate Wins Together
40:45 Intentional Recovery Work
42:22 Discipline Over Regret
43:38 Advice for New and the Tired

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Host Tara McCausland interviews psychotherapist Scott Stolarick, who shares how his work in corrections and with sex offenders led him to recognize trauma as a driver of maladaptive behavior and the need for both accountability and support rather than shame. They discuss common misconceptions about trauma, differences between recent and historical trauma, and how childhood coping strategies can become harmful in adult relationships. Scott emphasizes trauma’s personal nature, the importance of validating first disclosures, building safety and trust, careful history-taking, and thoughtful use of modalities like EMDR with informed consent, concluding with encouragement for those beginning or continuing recovery.

00:00 Conference Invitation
01:40 Meet the Host and Guest
03:49 Scott’s Background
04:43 Seeing Trauma in Sex Offenders
09:44 Myths About Trauma
13:05 Fresh vs Historical Trauma
14:19 Trauma for Addicts vs Partners
17:54 Childhood Maladaptive Coping Skills Brought into Adulthood
21:32 What Counts as Trauma
25:06 Building Resilience
28:33 Why Trauma Awareness Matters
31:17 Healing Order of Operations
35:54 Effective Trauma Modalities
37:25 Closing Advice for Recovery
38:36 Final Thanks and Wrap

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Host Jonathan L. interviews guest Heather B. about surrender as a key recovery principle. Heather shares formative experiences where prayer was her refuge amid family abuse and dysfunction, her brother’s fatal accident, and a first marriage marked by discoveries of multiple addictions that led to her choosing divorce. Heather describes healing trauma through therapy and shares how applying SAL’s three-step surrender process (“on the phone, on my knees, in the box”), has helped her learn to relinquish control and trust God, allowing her to find peace amidst many of life's challenges.

00:00 Conference Announcement
02:03 Meet the Host and Guest
02:40 Early Experiences with the Power of Prayer
05:15 First Marriage and Betrayal
08:03 Miracles and a New Path
09:28 Second Marriage Growth
12:37 Therapy and Trauma Healing
14:22 Learning the Surrender Process
16:38 What is Surrender?
19:17 Phone Knees Box Method
23:23 Letting Go of Outcomes
28:27 Regulating Big Emotions
30:40 Handling Intrusive Thoughts
32:30 Daily Spiritual Practice
35:33 Advice for Newcomers
37:22 Encouragement to Return
38:56 Closing Thanks and Wrap

Support the show

SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
Find an SAL12Step Meeting
Donate
Contact to ask questions or make comments
Transcripts