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Tara McCausland shares an SAL 12 Step Conference keynote presentation by therapist and 12-step participant Amanda Christensen. Amanda explains how childhood power dynamics, explicit and implicit family rules, and family systems patterns can shape secrecy, emotional neglect, perfectionism, and vulnerability to sexual acting out. Amanda shares her own discovery trauma and distinguishes sexual acting-out trauma from deception trauma, emphasizing how secrets and manipulation undermine the betrayed partner’s reality, self-trust, and attachment safety. She outlines common power struggles in couples and within oneself, urging people to exit power battles and move toward surrender and “healthy powerlessness.” She recommends deeper work on underlying wounds through 12-step and therapy, therapeutic disclosure, steps one, four, and nine, transparency agreements, boundaries, and ongoing connection to support healing and choice.

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Understanding Pornography use, Problematic Sexual Behavior and Betrayal Trauma Digital Manual

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Host Jonathan L. interviews LMSW Courtney Weaver about finding quality education and qualified therapy for sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. Courtney explains key certifications (CSAT, APSAT, CPTT, C-BIRT), how to choose a therapist based on whether someone is an addict or betrayed partner, and what to ask therapists, including their understanding of pornography’s impact, betrayal trauma, and whether they recognize sex addiction as an addiction; she warns against codependency-based approaches that harm partners. They discuss how therapy and 12-step work can complement each other, when sponsors should defer to therapists (especially for trauma and relationship decisions), and how therapy helps identify underlying belief systems, coping patterns, and childhood roots that often stall progress in recovery work. Courtney outlines best practices for full therapeutic disclosure, recommends research-based resources, and suggests telehealth, podcasts, and community supports while seeking qualified care.

See the full list of questions to qualify a therapist HERE.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:28 Why Therapist Choice Matters
02:06 Decoding the Acronymns
03:24 Picking the Right Therapist For You
04:24 First Therapy Session Questions
06:29 Therapy Modalities Explained
08:53 12 Steps and Therapy Complement Each Other
10:28 Sponsor vs. Therapist Roles
11:57 Surrender and Learning What to Surrender
13:40 Uncovering Trauma
17:17 Full Therapeutic Disclosure Explained
22:00 Finding Quality Education
23:49 SAL and Community Recovery
25:31 Telehealth and Extra Supports
27:04 Closing Encouragement

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Host Tara McCausland interviews Debbie Laaser about understanding and managing triggers after betrayal. Laaser explains that distress from triggers is shaped by perceptions and encourages slowing down reactive fight-or-flight responses. Using her “seven desires” model (to be heard/understood, affirmed, blessed/loved unconditionally, safe, healthily touched, chosen, and included), she suggests identifying which unmet desires a trigger activates, noting that unmet needs intensify pain and that past experiences influence present reactions. She recommends journaling triggers with guided questions, offloading anger safely, and communicating practical needs rather than reacting. Laaser emphasizes wives are not responsible for husbands’ acting out behaviors, highlights post-traumatic growth, points listeners to seeking God to meet ultimate desires, and advises early professional help, community support, and a three-part recovery approach: his, hers, and eventually couples work after sobriety and truth-telling.

Connect with Debbie at faithfulandtrue.com.

00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup
01:57 Meet Debbie Laser
02:51 Triggers and Trauma
03:42 Why Triggers Hurt
07:14 Perception vs Truth
09:43 Seven Desires Framework
14:02 Restaurant Trigger Example
17:17 How Past Wounds Amplify Triggers
21:00 Working Through Triggers Process
27:36 Safe Anger Release
32:08 Needs and Boundaries
36:13 Daily Growth and God
43:42 Final Advice

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