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Host Jonathan L., an addict in recovery, interviews Marcus H., a recovering sexual addict, about developing a “willing heart” by overcoming pride, shame, and hiding. Marcus describes decades of secrecy, shame, and compartmentalization, believing milestones like marriage, children, or church callings would be “magic portals” that would fix him, while repeated counsel to “try harder” led to white-knuckle sobriety and relapse. He explains how hiding damaged his relationships, fueled fear and control at home, and split his sense of self, until a rock-bottom disclosure to his wife triggered a crisis that revealed the harm to his family. Marcus recounts finding SAL through his mother-in-law and therapist, meeting program founder Steven at his first meeting, and learning to “want” recovery, keep coming back, and trust the process. Fear initially brought him into SAL 12-Step, where admitting “I am an addict,” connecting with other men, therapy, sponsorship, humility, accountability, and surrender to God replaced willpower. He emphasizes that worth remains constant and divine, sobriety is important but not a ranking, and recovery is a lifelong, non-linear lifestyle that applies to all character weaknesses.

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