You step in because you love your child.
You pay for treatment again because you’re scared.
You cover the rent because you don’t want them on the street.
You call to check in because something feels “off.”
You offer solutions because you can’t stand watching them struggle.

Of course you do.

But here’s the hard question:

What if, sometimes, the helping is reinforcing learned helplessness?

What if the message, completely unintentionally, becomes: “You can’t handle this without me.”

Learned helplessness doesn’t develop because parents don’t care. It often develops because you care so deeply that you rush in to protect, soften, fix, or prevent discomfort.

If you’ve ever felt torn between protecting your child and preparing them for real life, this conversation is for you.

Seth and I talk about how learned helplessness can form when tasks are repeatedly taken over, when consequences are softened too quickly, or when rescue becomes the pattern. We explore what it actually looks like to allow your teen or young adult child their discovery process, even when that means sitting in your own discomfort.

Because sometimes the most powerful message you can send your struggling teen is:

“I believe you can handle this.”

In this episode on learned helplessness, we discuss:

• What learned helplessness is and how it quietly develops in your teen or young adult child;
• How loving, generous parenting can unintentionally reinforce helplessness;
• The difference between necessary support and rescue;
• Why sitting with your own anxiety can change everything;
• How to evaluate when to step in, and when to step back;
• The long-term impact of allowing your teen to build capability;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.