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When Andy Whitfield died at 39 from cancer, his widow Vashti faced an impossible question: How do you survive profound loss while raising two young children alone? In this deeply honest conversation about grief, solo parenting, and personal transformation, Vashti Whitfield shares how she turned devastating loss into meaningful legacy work.

Vashti Whitfield is a transformational facilitator, executive coach, and filmmaker who co-created the award-winning documentary Be Here Now: The Andy Whitfield Story. In this episode of the Big Stuff podcast, host and life coach Danielle Colley explores the realities of anticipatory grief, navigating parenting after loss, and why protecting loved ones from pain can sometimes do more harm than good.

This conversation offers practical wisdom for anyone dealing with grief, life transitions, terminal illness in the family, or the challenge of rebuilding identity after devastating loss. Vashti's approach combines vulnerability with actionable insights about living fully in the present moment—even when life feels impossibly hard.

00:00 Introduction to Vashti Whitfield's Journey

01:56 Meeting Vashti: A Personal Anecdote

08:33 The Story of Andy Whitfield

12:08 The Making of 'Be Here Now'

14:40 Reframing Grief and Finding Purpose

18:23 Navigating Anticipatory Grief

24:04 Living and Dying: A Personal Reflection

26:00 Transforming Grief into Legacy Work

33:01 Turning Creativity into Legacy

34:12 Embracing All of You

34:43 Parenting Challenges and Non-Attachment

36:58 Solo Parenting and Letting Go

41:26 Owning Your Parenting Mistakes

46:16 Rediscovering Yourself

48:26 Intimacy and Connection

56:59 Advice for Big Life Changes

59:48 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Connect with Vashti Whitfield:

See her Linktree: VASHTI WHITFIELD

Check out her substack: The V. Spot
Find her on Instagram - vashtiwhitfield

Connect on LinkedIn- Vashti Whitfie

Connect with Danielle:

See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/

But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-book

Find her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/

Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#

Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley

Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu