In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we explore how your body physically tracks and responds to holiday stress—even when your mind is trying to convince you that you're "fine."

I break down the science of why your body keeps score, identifies the most common physical stress signals during the holiday season (from jaw clenching to immune system crashes), and provides practical tools for moving from overriding your body's wisdom to actually listening to it.

Tune in as we discuss the mind-body connection, inherited patterns of stress response, and what it looks like to build body trust when you've been taught to push through no matter what.

If you're experiencing unexplained physical symptoms, chronic exhaustion, or wondering why your body seems to "betray" you during the holidays, this episode will help you understand what's really happening—and how to respond with compassion instead of shame.

Why Your Body Keeps Score

• Your body and mind aren't separate systems—your body is literally processing and storing emotional experiences in real-time through your nervous system
• Survival mode (sympathetic nervous system activation) was designed for short-term threats, but holiday stress keeps you activated for weeks or months, creating chronic physical symptoms
• Black women often inherit patterns of overriding body signals from ancestors who needed to suppress their needs for survival—these aren't personal failures but generational patterns

Common Physical Stress Signals

• The Tension Trio: Jaw clenching (from suppressing what you want to say), shoulder tension (from carrying burdens that aren't yours), and digestive issues (from chronic nervous system activation)
• Sleep and energy disruption aren't about lack of sleep—they're about your nervous system staying in survival mode even when you're lying still
• Getting sick after the holidays isn't coincidence—it's your immune system forcing the rest you won't give yourself permission to take

Moving to Body Attunement

• You override your body because you learned that worth comes from productivity, not wellbeing—and for Black women, displaying vulnerability could feel dangerous
• Building body trust requires separating sensation (data) from story (judgment): "I feel tired" versus "I shouldn't be tired"
• Thank your body for giving you information instead of seeing signals as inconveniences or failures

Practical Tools

• The Body Wisdom Check-In: Four-step practice of pausing, scanning, asking what your body needs, and responding (not overriding)
• Create a Seasonal Stress Response Plan with your primary stress signals, response menu for each signal, daily non-negotiables, support system, and built-in recovery time
• Set three daily alarms for body check-ins—it takes less than two minutes but creates a pattern of listening instead of overriding

Ready to get inspired? Hit play to discover what your body is trying to tell you, why pushing through might be making things worse, and how to build a relationship of trust with your body's wisdom this holiday season!

Join Our Email List: Be the first to know about upcoming episodes, special offers, and more. Get your free 7-Day Self-Care Reset (with Day 4 focused on body reconnection) at javerywellness.com/reset.

Get Started with Therapy: Ready to reconnect with your body's wisdom and break free from patterns of pushing through? Complete an intake form at

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we dive into the complex reality of holiday family gatherings for Black women who are always expected to show up, hold it together, and keep the peace.

I share practical strategies for protecting your peace during the holiday season, including specific boundary scripts, energy protection techniques, and permission to redesign traditions around what actually nourishes you.

Tune in as we explore why you've become the default host/mediator/fixer, how to decline obligations without guilt, and what it looks like to enter January with your energy intact instead of completely depleted.

If you're looking to experience a holiday season that doesn't drain your spirit, you won't want to miss this one!

Understanding Your Default Role

• Being capable doesn't mean you're obligated—hosting is emotional, physical, and mental labor that you're allowed to opt out of
• Cultural scripts about service and sacrifice are inherited survival patterns that may no longer serve your ability to thrive
• Someone's disappointment with your boundaries is not your responsibility to manage

Practical Boundary Scripts

• Complete sentences need no justification: "I'm not hosting this year. I need the space to rest."
• For invasive questions: "I'm keeping my dating life private" / "That's not something I'm discussing today" / "I'm not open to body comments today"
• For unmet expectations: "If it doesn't get made, we'll adjust. I'm not picking up the extras this year"

Energy Protection Strategies

• Before events: Drive yourself, set time limits, eat beforehand, and establish a grounding practice
• During events: Take breaks, create physical distance from draining relatives, use the gray rock method, and leave early if needed
• After events: Plan recovery time including quiet evenings, baths, journaling, or full rest days

Holiday Redesign Permission

• You're allowed to change traditions: potlucks, smaller gatherings, catered meals, virtual check-ins, solo holidays, or completely new rituals
• Ask yourself: "If I could design my ideal holiday without worrying about expectations, what would it look like?"
• Small changes create permission for bigger changes—start with one shift this year

Prefer to watch instead of listen? Head over to our YouTube channel to catch the full episode: Watch it here.

Ready to get inspired? Hit play to discover how to protect your peace this holiday season without guilt, navigate family expectations with confidence, and redesign traditions around what actually nourishes you!

Join Our Email List: Be the first to know about upcoming episodes, special offers, and more. Get your free 7-Day Self-Care Reset at javerywellness.com/reset.

Get Started with Therapy: Ready to break free from inherited survival patterns and create

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• Website: www.javerywellness.com

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we dive into the often misunderstood journey of perimenopause and menopause.

Dr. Taniqua Miller, a board-certified OBGYN and certified menopause specialist, joins us to discuss the real symptoms women experience, why traditional healthcare often falls short, and how to build a comprehensive care team for this major life transition.

Tune in as we explore the physical, emotional, and relational changes that come with this transition, practical strategies for managing symptoms, and why community matters more than ever during midlife. If you're looking to understand what's happening in your body during perimenopause or support someone going through it, you won't want to miss this one!

Key Takeaways:

● Understanding the Timeline: Perimenopause typically lasts 4-5 years before menopause (defined as 12 months without a period), with early symptoms often showing up as mood changes, joint pain, and sleep disruption before the classic hot flashes arrive.

● Build Your Care Team: Just like pregnancy or adolescence, this transition requires a comprehensive support system including medical providers, mental health professionals, pelvic floor physical therapists, and community—not just one annual doctor's visit.

● You're Not Broken: The grief, rage, brain fog, and physical changes are real physiological responses to hormonal shifts, not personal failures. Self-compassion and education are the first steps toward reclaiming agency during this transition.

Listen Now: Ready to get inspired? Hit play to discover how to navigate perimenopause with grace, knowledge, and the support you deserve!

Links Mentioned:

● Find a Menopause Specialist: Visit menopause.org to locate certified menopause practitioners in your area who accept insurance

● Dr. Taniqua Miller's Resources:

• Revival Telemedicine consultations: revivaltelemedicine.com
• Comprehensive midlife care (opening Q1 2026): joinrevival.co
• Midlife Revival Podcast: 50+ episodes on perimenopause and menopause topics
• Additional Resources: Black Girl's Guide to Menopause and Black Walls Menopause (UK-based)
• Join Our Email List: Be the first to know about upcoming episodes, special offers, and get access to our 7-Day Self-Care Reset. Sign up here: [www.javerywellness.com/reset]
• Book a Free Consultation: Feeling stuck or need support navigating this transition? Complete your intake form with Javery Integrative Wellness Services here: [www.javerywellness.com/get-started]

Connect with Dr. Taniqua Miller:

● Instagram: @taniquamillermd

● Website: revivaltelemedicine.com

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● Facebook: @JaveryIWS

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