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あらすじ・解説
On the Normalization of SufferingI spent a long time thinking about this podcast before I even started writing. Originally I had a much more controversial title in mind that probably would have generated a lot more interest but in the end my wife made me change it. So I guess in a way she has inadvertently become a silent partner in this endeavor and I can blame her for this much more boring title. But if you’ve come this far I guess you deserve to know, I was going to call this podcast “On White Privilege and Trauma”. Irregardless, oh yes irregardless is a word, look it up if you disagree. It happens to be a word I like a lot because so many people want to argue that it isn’t a word at all. So, irregardless of the title of this podcast, the subject matter remains the same. I will tell you a story of White Privilege and I will tell you a story of Trauma. And then in the end I will tie these two things together for a lesson on the normalization of suffering.Where to begin. I guess my thinking on this subject all started with Joe Rogan of all places. As you may or may not know he got into hot water a few weeks back after he made some comments on his own podcast to the effect of how all heterosexual white males have been essentially “canceled” en-mass. To be fair, I didn’t watch the podcast and I don’t care to, but I got the gist of what he was saying from the few clips I saw on TV. This isn’t news to me and it isn’t something I haven’t heard before. In fact it is something I’ve heard many times from all kinds of people I know. Good friends who I consider quite woke and liberal in their thinking have joked to me “haven’t you heard the news that we don’t count anymore, that we’ve been canceled!” So I have to acknowledge that there is a real feeling in the air, not just among the Joe Rogans of the world but in general that the heterosexual white male is somehow under threat of being canceled or whatever. And I understand exactly where this feeling is coming from. I would never deny a person or people their feelings. Their feelings belong to them and are valid because it is what they feel. But the conclusion that is being drawn from those feelings, that is what I take issue with. My message to Joe Rogan and to my friends who may or may not be having these feelings is this: “it’s ok, don’t worry, nobody is canceling you and your thoughts and especially your feelings are still as valid today as they ever were.” The fact that we in as a culture are taking a closer look at the suffering and plight of a segment of the population to which you do not belong should not in any way be seen as a threat. The fact that they are seen as a threat I believe comes from a fundamental misunderstanding about the thing that lies at the very core of all of these movements and that is human suffering.An executive summary would probably be good here so I’ll make my point and then I’ll elaborate with some stories and a conclusion. My point is that suffering, human suffering is not a competition. It’s not like there is a pie of suffering and if we acknowledge the suffering of one group we must deny the suffering of another. Suffering is just not like that, it is something we all deal with. It is a part of the human experience. In fact I would venture to say that the more in touch you are with your own suffering and your own experiences of trauma the more empathy you will have for the suffering and trauma of others. You first have to be vulnerable with yourself, you have to think back to a time of your own suffering and trauma. Contemplate it, spend time with it, as much as you need. Then turn your attention to the suffering of someone like George Floyd dying on the streets of Minneapolis. I guarantee the next emotion you will feel will be an overwhelming sense of empathy. I know my own suffering well and as a result I can relate to what it must have been like for George Floyd not that my suffering matched his but that I know what it is like to suffer and I can extrapolate from there to at least imagine what George Floyd must have gone through. Combine that sense of empathy with the knowledge that suffering itself is not a competition and I guarantee that the feeling you will draw from these social movements will be not one of threat but one of solidarity. Solidarity for Black Lives Matter, solidarity for Diversity Equity and Inclusion. And that is the fundamental principal of the normalization of suffering.I told you I would share some stories and then I would come back to the thesis with a conclusion and so I will.My first story is about white privilege. It takes place in Minneapolis of all places. I was 22 years old and my best friend Larry and I were out in Uptown looking for our first apartment. Larry happens to be black but that is really immaterial to this story. We were looking at an apartment, what became our first and my only apartment in Minneapolis. We loved it at first ...