If we’re being completely honest, many of us enter into marriage with stars in our eyes and the hope that our spouse will live up to our every expectation. Isn’t it funny how we can spend months preparing every last detail for our marriage ceremony—yet we spend little, if any, time preparing our mindsets for what our marriage will actually look like in practice?

That reality often shows up fast—like the moment you realize the person you just vowed forever to puts the toilet paper on the roll backward! No matter how big or small they may be, unmet expectations can cause conflict, disappointment, and frustrations to develop in your marriage and other relationships.

Today, we have the honor of sharing a special episode with you. Earlier this year, Mark and I did a workshop on managing expectations in marriage for the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Cruise. It was so well-received and encouraging for the couples there that we wanted to share it with you!

While this message was created for married couples, the reality is that all of us need to manage our expectations better. After all, they can impact all areas of our lives—from our kids, to our extended family, and even our friendships.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• Four types of expectations
• Where unrealistic expectations come from
• How we use cats and dogs to describe attachment styles
• And more!

Understanding how expectations may be showing up in your relationships can help you avoid dynamics that contribute to discontentment, disappointment, and more. We hope you enjoy this special episode—recorded in front of a live audience!

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/managing-expectations-247

You're invited to our Transform Weekend June 6-8, 2025 or October 17-19, 2025. Learn more and register here.

Check out our other resources:

• Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage 2.0 Intensives
• Speaking Schedule
• Book Mark and Jill to Speak
• Online Courses
• Books

Marriage Resources:

• Infidelity Recovery
• For Happy Marriages
• For Hurting Marriages
• For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help

Mom Resources:

• New/Preschool Moms
• Moms with Gradeschoolers
• Moms with Teens and Tweens
• Moms with Kids Who Are Launching
• Empty Nest...

Have you heard some variation of this before?

“Marriage is hard. It’s unfair. One of you will always pull more weight. Marriage doesn’t make you happy; it makes you miserable.”

I'd like to push back against that pessimistic mindset. Yes, it’s true that marriage can be challenging—but it can also be one of the greatest relationships you will experience!

Marriage is certainly not easy, but it can be easier if we approach it the right way. Joining us to share her insights on doing just this is my friend, Arlene Pellicane. Arlene is a speaker, host of the Happy Home podcast, and author of several books including Parents Rising, Screen Kids, and Making Marriage Easier. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, the Wall Street Journal, and Focus on the Family.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The four decisions that deeply impacted Arlene’s marriage
• Why you should silence your phone while spending time with your spouse
• The benefits of trying something new together
• And more!

I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Arlene, and she has so many great tips on how to make marriage easier.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/arlene-pellicane-246

You're invited to our Transform Weekend June 6-8, 2025 or October 17-19, 2025. Learn more and register here.

Check out our other resources:

• Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage 2.0 Intensives
• Speaking Schedule
• Book Mark and Jill to Speak
• Online Courses
• Books

Marriage Resources:

• Infidelity Recovery
• For Happy Marriages
• For Hurting Marriages
• For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help

Mom Resources:

• New/Preschool Moms
• Moms with Gradeschoolers
• Moms with Teens and Tweens
• Moms with Kids Who Are Launching
• Empty Nest...

When a loved one hurts, it can be hard to know how to respond and support them through the crisis or pain they feel.

Our first response is often to jump straight into “fix it” mode or lighten the mood by offering platitudes. However, the key to true comfort lies in a few key areas that Mark and I are going to talk about in this conversation. In our story, we’ve had quite the journey of learning how to best support one another—whether we are experiencing physical pain, emotional hurt, or just a difficult season of life.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• Some examples of crises and pain a loved one may be experiencing
• The importance of sitting in the pain with someone else
• A few ways to practically support someone going through a crisis
• And more!

Through my cancer journey and our marriage crisis, we received so much help and comfort from our friends, our family, and each other. We hope you will feel more equipped to offer support to a loved one after listening to this candid conversation.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/hurting-loved-one-245

You're invited to our Transform Weekend June 6-8, 2025 or October 17-19, 2025. Learn more and register here.

Check out our other resources:

• Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage 2.0 Intensives
• Speaking Schedule
• Book Mark and Jill to Speak
• Online Courses
• Books

Marriage Resources:

• Infidelity Recovery
• For Happy Marriages
• For Hurting Marriages
• For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help

Mom Resources:

• New/Preschool Moms
• Moms with Gradeschoolers
• Moms with Teens and Tweens
• Moms with Kids Who Are Launching
• Empty Nest...

If you know my husband Mark and I, then you know we are passionate about moving people from a 1.0 version of themselves to a new-and-improved 2.0 version. We’ve taken this journey ourselves and know the difference it can make in your relationships, as well as how you view yourself.

We want you to know that whether you are navigating a life transition, experiencing a relationship crisis, trying to rediscover your purpose, or looking for direction on how to move forward, you are always just one choice away from making a change.

Today, we have two incredible guests joining us to explore this topic. Justin and Trish Davis are pastors, speakers, coaches, and the founders of Refine Us Ministries. Through their powerful story of failure, loss, and transformation, they help others find renewed hope and purpose. Justin and Trish have co-authored and individually authored several books, the latest being One Choice Away from Change: Break the Cycles That Hurt Your Relationships and Hold You Back.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How God restored their relationship after an affair
• Common barriers that hold us back in life
• Practical steps to take when you feel stuck
• And more!

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/justin-trish-davis-244

Check out our other resources:

• Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage 2.0 Intensives
• Speaking Schedule
• Book Mark and Jill to Speak
• Online Courses
• Books

Marriage Resources:

• Infidelity Recovery
• For Happy Marriages
• For Hurting Marriages
• For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help

Mom Resources:

• New/Preschool Moms
• Moms with Gradeschoolers
• Moms with Teens and Tweens
• Moms with Kids Who Are Launching
• Empty Nest...

Everyone has baggage. We carry it around with us everywhere–into marriage, adulthood, and every aspect of our lives. It’s part of being human, and while there’s no shame in having baggage, it’s important to take the time to consider how the behaviors we’ve picked up over the years could be potentially harmful to ourselves and others.

The question we are addressing in today’s conversation is: how do we pinpoint our baggage and begin to heal those areas of our lives? We define “baggage” as places where we need to pursue personal growth, instances of trauma or hurt from the past that remain unhealed, and learned behaviors, habits, and thinking patterns from our childhood that no longer serve us.

Whether you are married, dating, or single, doing the individual work to unpack your baggage is an investment you will never regret making. You may also want to consider working with a coach, counselor, or therapist to assist you in your journey.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• The importance of discovering your baggage
• How to look back at the past to uncover unhealthy coping mechanisms
• Why we should pay attention to relational feedback
• And more!

Dealing with our own baggage has been transformative in our marriage, and it played a crucial role in our individual journeys to become Jill 2.0 and Mark 2.0. We hope this conversation can be a stepping stone for others to dig deeper into their own habits and behaviors.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/uncover-baggage-243

Check out our other resources:

• Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage 2.0 Intensives
• Speaking Schedule
• Book Mark and Jill to Speak
• Online Courses
• Books

Marriage Resources:

• Infidelity Recovery
• For Happy Marriages
• For Hurting Marriages
• For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help

Mom Resources:

• New/Preschool Moms
• Moms with Gradeschoolers
• Moms with Teens and Tweens
• Moms with Kids Who Are Launching
• Empty Nest...

What does your morning routine look like? A typical morning may look like rolling out of bed, getting ready, and grabbing breakfast to feed your body before you tackle the day. But how often do you prioritize feeding your soul as well as your physical body?

My guest for this conversation discovered that there is no better way to start her day than by sitting with Jesus. Tera Elness is a writer and a speaker. In her first book, Sitting with Jesus: A Yearlong Faith Journey, each individual entry is a glimpse into her personal journal as she shares with God and about God.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The importance of opening God’s Word
• What your time with God could look like
• How Tera uses 80s music to deliver a biblical message
• And more!

If you long to have vibrant, personal, and fulfilling moments connecting with our Heavenly Father, you won’t want to miss this conversation with my friend Tera.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/tera-elness-242

You're invited to our Transform Weekend June 6-8, 2025 or October 17-19, 2025. Learn more and register here.

Check out our other resources:

• Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage 2.0 Intensives
• Speaking Schedule
• Book Mark and Jill to Speak
• Online Courses
• Books

Marriage Resources:

• Infidelity Recovery
• For Happy Marriages
• For Hurting Marriages
• For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help

Mom Resources:

• New/Preschool Moms
• Moms with Gradeschoolers
• Moms with Teens and Tweens
• Moms with Kids Who Are Launching
• Empty Nest...

Have you ever had a conversation where it seemed like you and the other person kept misunderstanding one another? At some point, it may have even felt like you were speaking two different languages. This is a challenge that pops up in many marriages—after all, there’s a reason why people say men and women could be from different planets!

Teaching others how to have safe conversations is a passion of ours, as this skill has played a big role in taking our marriage to the next level. You may have heard us teach about this topic if you’ve done coaching with us or attended one of our No More Perfect Marriages Seminars. Today, we’re honored to speak with two professionals whose work has significantly shaped the way couples everywhere approach healthy dialogue.

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D, and Helen Hunt, Ph.D., are the creators of Safe Conversations®, a training institute focused on relational intervention. They are the co-authors of three New York Times bestsellers, including Getting the Love You Want, which has sold over four million copies. Married for over 40 years, they have six children and seven grandchildren, and they split their time between Dallas and New York City.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why it’s important to listen more than we speak
• The elements of a safe conversation
• Two things you can try during your next “negative” conversation
• And more!

We are thrilled to have gotten the opportunity to sit down with the two people who laid the groundwork for our understanding of safe conversations!

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/hendrix-hunt-241

You're invited to our Transform Weekend June 6-8, 2025 or October 17-19, 2025. Learn more and register here.

Check out our other resources:

• Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage 2.0 Intensives
• Speaking Schedule
• Book Mark and Jill to Speak
• Online Courses
• Books

Marriage Resources:

• Infidelity Recovery
• For Happy Marriages
• For Hurting Marriages
• For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help

Mom Resources:

• New/Preschool Moms
• Moms with Gradeschoolers
• Moms with Teens and Tweens
• Moms with Kids Who Are Launching
• Empty Nest...

Dear Mark & Jill,

I listen to your podcast every week and I love it. It seems like when you are talking together, we hear a lot more about what Mark did wrong before and during your marriage crisis. I identify more with Jill’s personality before your marriage crisis. I would love to hear more about “Jill 1.0” when you are discussing problems in your marriage. What were some of the things you (Jill) did during that time that you felt did not help the situation, and how did you correct them to become Jill 2.0?

This was an email we got from a listener—and it sparked an hour-long conversation between Mark and I! It was such a good question that we decided to answer their email in this episode of the podcast.

We often talk openly about our marriage crisis, Mark’s infidelity, and how I contributed to the dysfunction in our marriage before we became what we affectionately refer to as Mark & Jill 2.0.

For this conversation, we want to examine Jill 1.0 more closely—not to blame her for what happened, but to honestly consider the role she played in our marriage crisis.

In this episode, you’ll learn about:

• The 6 dysfunctions Jill brought into our marriage
• What the “strong woman, silent man cycle” looks like
• The characteristics of an “avoider”
• And more!

It was enlightening for Mark and I to examine some of my behaviors during the first half of our marriage and how they impacted our relationship. I hope this can be a helpful resource for you, especially if you relate to or have a similar personality to mine.

Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/old-version-jill-240

You're invited to our Transform Weekend June 6-8, 2025 or October 17-19, 2025. Learn more and register here.

Check out our other resources:

• Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story
• Marriage Coaching
• Marriage 2.0 Intensives
• Speaking Schedule
• Book Mark and Jill to Speak
• Online Courses
• Books

Marriage Resources:

• Infidelity Recovery
• For Happy Marriages
• For Hurting Marriages
• For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help

Mom Resources:

• New/Preschool Moms
• Moms with Gradeschoolers
• Moms with Teens and Tweens
• Moms with Kids Who Are Launching
• Empty Nest...