Debt hits $38 trillion. Arctic Refuge becomes Chevron’s gift shop. East Wing demolished for gold-plated ego. Inflation gnaws paychecks; tariffs punch wallets. Pentagon press corps now pillow peddlers and conspiracy bloggers. VA tried to stall veterans’ benefits—nine judges slapped that nonsense down. NBA stars accused of mob poker.

Theo Jesterfield—broadcasting from a crater in Alaska. The headlines are screaming, and the Republic is burning.

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Trump sues the DOJ for investigating him... while running it. The military’s blowing up fishermen for “freedom.” Congress lets kids starve while ICE hires ex-cons. Cyberdefense gets gutted as China hacks our power grid. Indiana forgets how to gerrymander, and health insurance costs as much as a new car.

I’m Theo Jesterfield—broadcasting from the smoking servers of Fort Meade. The lights are flickering, the headlines are hallucinating, and the Republic’s running on fumes.

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U.S. fires Hellfires into the Caribbean, repatriates survivors like bad Amazon returns. Pardoned rioter threatens to kill Hakeem Jeffries. Air traffic controllers moonlight for DoorDash. Kristi Noem buys $172M Gulfstreams for “safety.” Trump cancels Ukraine missiles, flirts with Putin, and guided-missiles for deportations.

Theo Jesterfield here—reporting live from America’s last nerve. The headlines are drunk, the government’s armed, and I’m running on bourbon and bad decisions.

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