Juliane Taylor Shore has made a career out of helping people build boundaries that actually hold, not to win an argument or get the last word, but so they can stay close to the people they love without losing themselves in the process. In this conversation, she and Nik take apart the four kinds of boundaries hiding inside that one overused word, the two speeds your brain runs at when it's deciding whether you're safe, and the four-word idea she keeps landing on: clear is kind.

Before any of that, she fixed cars for a living. Her way into therapy was as a client, at a community clinic, ten dollars a session, with a therapist seeing his very first patient: her. She liked his job enough to ask how a person gets one. Grad school followed, and with it a specific frustration: nobody taught her any neuroscience, in a profession built entirely on helping people work with their minds. So she went and found it herself, and became, by her own account, accidentally a neurobiology geek. These days she's a therapist, a couples therapist, a teacher of other therapists, a writer, a mom, a dog owner, and someone who describes her own psychological boundary, with no further explanation offered or needed, as "a wall of jello with pink sparkles in it."

Asked what the world looks like if everyone had that kind of boundary fluency, she doesn't reach for anything utopian. Tons more kindness, she says, because people are able to be clear with themselves and with each other. Clear is kind: it's kinder to say the true thing, even when it disrupts something, than to hide from it. Communication gets easier. People get better at hearing someone else's wisdom instead of discounting it the moment they disagree. And the whole operating system shifts from power over, power as something finite, grabbed and hoarded, to power with, where making someone else more powerful makes you more powerful too. Nik's word for it, on the spot: round table thinking. Hers, unprompted: Arthur, her middle name, and the reason for it.

She never frames any of this as a personal growth exercise. The clearest version of the point is the line she leaves the conversation on: her question isn't whether people change, it's how much of a hand you'd like to have in the direction of that change. The proof she offers isn't hypothetical. A friend spent six months doing nothing but her own internal boundary work, said nothing about it to her partner, and watched the whole relationship shift anyway. Nobody had to be convinced of anything. Someone just had to go first.

About the guest

Juliane Taylor Shore, LMFT, LPC, SEP, is a therapist, a teacher of therapists, and the author of Setting Boundaries That Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered. She sees individual clients and couples, and teaches workshops open to the public in small groups.

Mentioned in this episode

• Books: Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman
• Concepts and frameworks: Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self energy · the idea, from NLP, of an unresolved thought loop as the structure of trauma · the "hundredth monkey" story
• People and other media: the Huberman Lab podcast, referenced directly for its point on agency and gratitude as hallmarks of mental health

Links

• Juliane Taylor Shore: julianetaylorshore.com
• Book: Setting Boundaries That Stick
• NextUs: nextus.world

Your move

• Light (30 to 60 minutes): next time a hard conversation starts to go sideways, try her compassion pause — a hand on your heart, two keywords, one for your own integrity, one for the relationship.
• Medium (2 to 5 hours): read the internal boundaries chapters of Setting Boundaries That Stick, and map your own four boundary types — external, physical, psychological, containing — against one real relationship.
• Deep (weeks to months): her public workshops, couples and individual, small group format, at julianetaylorshore.com.

Pull quotes

• "Clear is kind."
• "Boundary work is self-worth work in action."
• "We protect that which we see as valuable."
• "There's nobody but you who can determine what is and is not okay for you."
• "My question is not whether or not people change. My question is how much of a hand would you like to have in the direction of that change?"

In the latest episode of the NextUs podcast, we step into the world of Annette Müller—an embodiment and empowerment guide whose work is a delicate blend of ancient wisdom and modern necessity. 🌿

Annette is the founder of Wild Nettle, a movement born from her initiation as a Green Witch, dedicated to bringing simple, natural remedies back into our homes. As a doula, facilitator, and storyteller, she holds space for radical transformation, guiding others through the rites of passage that our modern world too often neglects.

Currently studying to become a professor of Modern Matriarchy, Annette is on a mission to reintroduce these rites, connecting us more deeply with our bodies, the natural world, and one another.

In this episode, we explore the intersection of tradition and innovation, and how we can all participate in the healing of ourselves and our communities.

Listen now and reconnect with the wisdom that lives within us all. ✨

In our latest episode of the NextUs podcast, we dive deep into the art of connection with Ivy Miller, a mindset and relationship coach who's all about cultivating peace, authenticity, and compassion in our relationships—starting with ourselves.

From teaching conflict resolution and conscious communication to guiding us toward self-compassion, Ivy's approach goes beyond the surface to touch the very heart of human connection. She reminds us that the most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves, and through that lens, every other connection can truly thrive.

This conversation was recorded live at the Haab Project in Mexico City, where Ivy shared her wisdom in front of an engaged audience, bringing her insights to life in a way that's as inspiring as it is practical.

Ready to transform how you connect with others and yourself? Tune in now and join us on this journey toward deeper authenticity and connection. 💫

In the latest episode of the NextUs podcast, we explore the profound transformation of Aren Bahia—a Canadian entrepreneur, philanthropist, and a soul whose life embodies the full spectrum of human experience. From the gritty streets of Vancouver's underworld to the serene peaks of the Himalayas, Aren's path has been anything but ordinary. He's journeyed from organized crime to the quiet depths of meditation and yoga, finding his way to a life of service, generosity, and connection. 🧘‍♂️🌱

Since landing in Bali in 2016, Aren has launched eight businesses in as many years, including Karma House Bali and Conscious Arts Tattoos, each a testament to his relentless drive and boundless heart. He's also dedicated himself to uplifting underprivileged Balinese children, channeling his success into meaningful change. But this episode holds a special place for me—Aren isn't just a guest; he's the friend who saved my life. Five years ago, when I broke my skull, Aren was the one who rushed me to the hospital, and I'll never forget his calm and care during one of the most critical moments of my life. 🙏❤️

Listen as we delve into Aren's story of resilience, reinvention, and the raw courage it takes to rewrite your narrative. He's not just building businesses; he's building lives, one connection at a time.

Join us for this heartfelt conversation, and let Aren inspire you to live a life defined not by your past, but by the possibilities of your future.

To connect with Aren or learn more about his work, you can reach out to him on Instagram at @ink_pray_love, and be sure to check out his podcast, "The Ink Pray Love Podcast," available on Spotify, iTunes, and YouTube.

Celebrate Pride Month with us on the NextUs podcast as we explore identity, individuality, safety, freedom, and belonging with the remarkable Amber Hickman, founder of Mindful Rabbit! 🌈🎙️✨

In this special live recording from the HAAB Project in Mexico City, Amber shares her unique blend of science and traditional wisdom to support therapeutic work with psychedelic mushrooms. Her holistic approach, enriched by her background in coaching and the arts, makes complex concepts accessible for personal growth and healing.

Amber also delves into her new venture in Branding, where she bridges the spirit of businesses with their visual identity, embodying the philosophy that to build your brand is to build your world. 🌍✨

Tune in for an inspiring conversation that celebrates diversity, promotes understanding, and champions the idea that everyone deserves to feel safe, free, and truly belong.

Listen now!

#NextUsPodcast #AmberHickman #MindfulRabbit #PrideMonth #Identity #Individuality #Safety #Freedom #Belonging #TherapeuticWork #PsychedelicMushrooms #Branding #HolisticHealing

Join us on the NextUs podcast for an enlightening conversation with Annette Ackema! 🎙️✨

Annette is a human design and self-pleasure enthusiast who combines these practices to help individuals find their flow state in life. Her unique approach integrates the wisdom of human design with the transformative power of self-pleasure, guiding others toward greater self-awareness and fulfillment.

Annette and I met years ago in Bali and then ran into each other randomly on the street in Mexico City. I didn't recognize her because of the transformation, both physical and energetic, that she had had gone through since our last encounter and the more I asked about her process, the more inspired I was.

Tune in to discover how Annette's innovative methods can help you tap into your true potential and live a more aligned and joyous life. Don't miss this fascinating episode!

Listen now on wherever you listen to podcasts!

Join us for a special live recording of the NextUs podcast from vibrant Mexico City! 🎙️✨

In this episode, host Nik Wood sits down with Andrea Guzman, an engineer, urbanist, and dedicated water advocate. Andrea's groundbreaking work focuses on integrating technology and nature-based solutions to enhance climate resilience in Latin American cities. She is deeply committed to advancing climate justice and ensuring that communities thrive amidst urban challenges.

Tune in to hear Andrea's insights and innovative approaches to creating sustainable, resilient urban environments. Don't miss this inspiring conversation on the future of our cities and our planet.

Welcome back to the NextUs podcast, where we explore the future of humanity and life on Earth through the journeys of extraordinary individuals. I'm your host, Nik Wood, and today I'm thrilled to introduce our guest, Echo Giselle Widmer.

Echo has been a seeker throughout her entire life, guided by a deeply embedded intuition that has ushered her forward. Her path has been messy, unclear, and troubled, reflecting her inner world. Through trial and error, as well as periods of suffering, angst, and self-pity, she experienced a few wake-up calls that shifted her from victimization to conscious, intentional living.

Echo was deeply humbled during her darkest days. Despite the joy she held in her life, an undercurrent of inner darkness eventually tainted her most intimate relationships. She struggled to receive love and for a long time, her goal was not to love but to be loved. Like many, she sought completion outside of herself, only to be led back to her center. Once there, she realized how much she had neglected the truth of her being, her needs, desires, fears, and dreams.

At her turning point, Echo felt exhausted by the amount of work required to achieve mental health and healthy relationships. Now, on the other side of victimization, her objective is to help others overcome their own struggles. She aims to be a resource, tool, and guide, assisting others in returning home to themselves, to their center, to their truth, and to love over illusion.

Join us as we delve into Echo's transformative journey and discover the wisdom she has gained along the way. Let's get started!