What if battling porn urges is actually keeping you stuck?

What if the urge isn't your enemy, but a part of you actually just trying to help?

What if freedom isn't won through fighting, but through befriending?

In this episode, I sit down with Jenna Riemersma, bestselling author, licensed therapist, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) expert.

I was so excited to have Jenna on the podcast, as her work has had a huge impact on me and my life. Her book, Altogether You was life-changing for me, and we also discuss her new book, Move Toward, which takes revolutionary IFS principles and distills them into a simple, but radical 3-step tool anyone can use to completely change the way we approach our urges.

What you'll learn:

• Why the parts inside you that drive porn use are actually good (even though the behavior isn't)
• The difference between being the "conductor" vs. letting parts "drive the bus"
• How to turn toward the urge with curiosity and compassion instead of battling and judgment
• The 3-step practice begin befriending your urges instead of battling them
• Why the next time you feel the urge, you should hold it in your hand

If you're tired of fighting and ready for a different approach, this episode is for you.

Order Jenna's new book, Move Toward

Jenna's website:

https://jennariemersma.com/

Jenna's free guided exercises

https://insighttimer.com/jennariemersma

If you want to take the next step on your freedom journey, head to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NewPaths.me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and download the free Missing Piece Guide. It gives you the simple tools you need so you can stop feeling blindsided by urges and start feeling confident and in control.

Ever wish you could feel more in control when the temptation hits you to view porn?

Do you ever wonder if you could get to a place where you have mastery over your urges?

What if there were a few practical steps you could take starting today, that would begin training you to handle your urges like a Jedi Master?

In this episode, I'm breaking down 3 Jedi-like skills to handle intense porn urges without giving in—skills you can start practicing today.

What you'll learn:

• Why taking a deep breath is the most powerful first step when urges hit
• How to "turn inward" and process feelings before they drive your actions
• The practice of "calmly feeling" urges without letting them sit in the driver's seat
• Why a Jedi Master feels just as intensely as anyone else (but responds differently)
• How to stay grounded when cravings spike instead of spiraling

This is a fun episode with serious, practical tools you can use immediately.

No, you don't need to be a Star Wars fan to benefit. But if you are, you may enjoy the references!

If you want to take the next step on your freedom journey, go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NewPaths.me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and download the free Missing Piece Guide. It gives you the simple tools you need so you can stop feeling blindsided by urges and start feeling confident and in control.

You slipped. You watched porn again.

Now you're stuck in shame and guilt, wondering: What's wrong with me? Why can't I stop?

Here's the truth: The freedom journey isn't perfect. You will slip.

And that's okay.

But what you do after a slip determines whether you spiral down or bounce back stronger.

In this episode, I'm giving you The Three Checkpoints—a simple, shame-free way to analyze every slip, figure out what was missing, and get back up more prepared than before.

What you'll learn:

• What to do immediately after watching porn (no shame, just next steps)
• The 3 questions to ask after every relapse that turn slips into growth
• How to know exactly what needs to be reinforced for next time
• Why slips are actually part of learning the skill of handling urges
• How to show yourself compassion instead of beating yourself up

This is a practical tool you can use every time you slip to get back on track faster and stronger.

Never again let a slip become wasted. Begin using each slip as an opportunity to learn!

If you want to take the next step on your freedom journey, go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠NewPaths.me⁠⁠⁠⁠ and download the free Missing Piece Guide. It gives you the simple tools you need so you can stop feeling blindsided by urges and start feeling confident and in control.

Ever feel like the urge to watch porn is just too intense to handle?

Like you can't just sit with the craving without giving in?

You're not broken. You just need the right tool for that moment.

In this episode, I'm giving you the Urge Anchors—simple, powerful sentences you can say to yourself when porn cravings spike and feel overwhelming.

What you'll learn:

• What to do when the urge to watch porn gets really strong
• Why your thoughts during intense cravings determine whether you give in
• Specific phrases that keep you grounded instead of spiraling
• How to handle urges without fighting them (which makes them worse)

This is a practical tool you can use immediately so you never have to wonder what to do when the temptation feels overwhelming.

If you want to take the next step on your freedom journey, go to ⁠⁠⁠NewPaths.me⁠⁠⁠ and download the free Missing Piece Guide. It gives you the simple tools you need so you can stop feeling blindsided by urges and start feeling confident and in control.

You have a plan for every urge. You're staying aware with mental rehearsal. So why do you still hesitate when temptation hits?

Because in that moment, you're asking yourself a question:

"Why should I implement my plan? Why shouldn't I just give in right now?"

Without a compelling answer, we're toast.

In this episode, I'm giving you Tool #3 in the Frontline Toolkit: your Power Reasons.

What you'll learn:

• Why a plan + awareness is essential, but isn't enough
• The difference between negative reasons (push you forward) and positive reasons (pull you forward)
• How to uncover your power reasons in just 15 minutes
• Why you must FEEL your reasons daily
• The one-minute morning practice that fills your tank every day

This is Episode 3 of the 5-part Frontline Toolkit series.

Tool #1: PATH Plan (for every urge)

Tool #2: Mental Rehearsal (every morning)

Tool #3: Power Reasons (every morning)

Download the free PATH Plan at newpaths.me/plan

You have a plan for when urges hit. So why do you still slip into "zombie mode" and give in?

Because having a plan is essential, but it isn't enough. You also need a way to stay AWARE when the urge hits so you can actually use your plan.

In this episode, I'm giving you Tool #2 in the Frontline Toolkit:

Mental Rehearsal—a 60-second daily practice that skyrockets your awareness and stops zombie mode before it starts.

What you'll learn:

• Why promises and commitments fail in the moment of temptation
• How to use the predictability of porn struggles to your advantage
• The exact mental rehearsal process to do every morning
• Why this 60-second practice is one of the most highly leveraged tools for freedom

This is Episode 2 of the 5-part Frontline Toolkit series.

Tool #1: PATH Plan (for every urge)
Tool #2: Mental Rehearsal (for every morning)

Download the free PATH Plan at newpaths.me/plan

You've tried accountability, confession, filters, community therapy. But you still give in when the urge hits.

Why? Because no one taught you what to do in the frontline moment: when you're alone, tempted, and the urge hits you like a ton of bricks.

In this episode, I'm giving you the PATH Plan: a simple, 4-step system you can use every single time the urge floods you. This is the tool that ended my 20-year struggle with porn and has helped many other men.

No willpower required. No white-knuckling. Just a clear plan that leads when temptation hits.

What you'll learn:

• The exact 4 steps to implement with every urge, and exactly how to do it
• How to process urges instead of fighting them
• The neuroscience behind why this actually works

This is Episode 1 of the 5-part Frontline Toolkit series, giving you five powerful tools for five critical moments on your freedom journey.

Download the free PATH Plan at newpaths.me/plan

Why do we give our urges so much authority?

When the urge shows up, why do we so quickly and easily hand over the keys to our life?

What if we stopped to ask, "Why do I act as though the urge is my boss?"

In this re-release episode, we look at how the urge acts like it has authority, but how it actually has zero authority whatsoever, and how making this perspective shift changes everything for you and your freedom.

If you want to take the next step on your freedom journey, go to ⁠⁠NewPaths.me⁠⁠ and download the free Missing Piece Guide. It gives you the simple practices and temptation tools you need so you can stop feeling blindsided by urges and start feeling confident and in control. It is completely free and it is the best place to begin your freedom journey!