エピソード

  • Episode 50 - Nothing Gold Can Stay

    Episode 50 - Nothing Gold Can Stay
    2025/12/10
    Welcome back to Need Not Apply and HAPPY 50th to us! 🎉 🎂The traditional 50-year gift is gold, which feels appropriate because this episode has all the shine of a milestone… and all the chaos of two people who absolutely did not plan ahead. We hit the big 5-0 and you didn’t even get us a card, a cupcake, a gold paperclip ... nothing.To celebrate, we’re diving into Best of Redditor Updates — because if nothing gold can stay, then neither can these workplace disasters, identity crises, poop bandits, and HR nightmares. And for an extra twist, we take turns choosing each other’s Reddit stories like a workplace-themed Choose Your Own Adventure. Honestly? We’re the gift. At this point we’re just hoping AARP sends us something.THIS WEEKS LEGENDS:• Before There Was Karen, There Was Shirley : a retro, pre-Karen-era masterpiece in which a woman weaponizes confusion, entitlement, and pure chaos long before the meme-industrial complex caught up.• The Employee Who Shape-Shifts at Lunch : one minute she’s corporate Barbie, the next she’s giving “mysterious underground DJ” vibes. HR can’t keep up, her manager can’t keep up, honestly physics can’t keep up.• The Poop Bandit of Cubicle Row : someone’s leaving… messages. In smeared form. On walls. And a coworker’s car door. This isn’t malicious compliance — this is malicious biological warfare.• OOP Gets Locked in the Workplace Bathroom After Hours: imagine clocking out mentally, walking into the bathroom, and emerging into a silent building that’s already closed. It’s giving “night at the museum,” but with more panic and fluorescent lighting.SCIENCE, NATURE & OTHER THINGS TRYING TO KILL US• Farts Might Protect Your Brain — in a plot twist no one asked for, scientists say the smell of doom may actually be the smell of neuroprotection. The future of memory care is apparently… gas-powered.• Roman Soldiers Had Emotional Support Monkeys — nothing says “elite military force” like marching into battle with your tiny macaque bestie who probably stole half the camp’s rations.• Australian Firehawks Are Out Here Committing Arson — yes, the birds have learned fire as a tool. Yes, they use it strategically. Yes, Australia should be very concerned.• AI Researchers Invented Dangerous ‘Incantations’ — basically spellbook-level prompts that jailbreak chatbots like they’re summoning forbidden spirits. Hogwarts, but for tech bros.keywords - best of redditor updates, reddit workplace stories, workplace drama podcast, work humor, millennial podcast, malicious compliance, funny work stories, coworker horror stories, unhinged reddit tales, entitled customer story, weird coworker behavior, workplace bathroom nightmare, HR horror story, fart science news, roman soldiers pets, australian firehawks, AI jailbreak research, chaotic storytime podcast, reddit story podcast, comedy storytelling podcast
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    1 時間 12 分
  • Episode 49: Bar Tales & Server Fails

    Episode 49: Bar Tales & Server Fails
    2025/12/03
    🎙️ We’re back for another week of workplace chaos, post-holiday exhaustion, and the kind of unhinged tangents only we could deliver.It’s Monday night, Gary’s eyes are burning from a full-blown, traffic-fueled meltdown, we may need a medic, Gina barely survived Black Friday retail warfare, and both of us have officially entered that end-of-year delirium where time isn’t real and everything is annoying.Between Cyber Monday deals that aren’t deals, customers who somehow know more about your job than you do (according to them), and Gary noticing half the highway chewing their nails like they’re waiting for a court verdict… we had plenty to decompress before even touching a single story.We also spiral into:🎈 A totally unnecessary deep dive into the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade🎅 The chaos of mall Santa season🐾 And Santa Paws, Gina’s absolute favorite day of the year (tiny dogs in sweaters, enough said)Once we get all that out of our system?Oh, we SERVE.🍷 A server’s nightmare four-top with a garlic “allergy,” a baked potato war, and an aggressively unwell Sheila who argues about wine like she’s auditioning for Real Housewives: Early Bird Special Edition.🍺 A bartender who walks into absolute mayhem — a coworker mid-seizure, customers dipping without paying, and the kind of small-town bar drama that feels like a Netflix miniseries waiting to happen.😵‍💫 A meltdown at a toxic pizza shop where one loud wrong-wine accusation, one milestone cancer celebration, and one exhausted server collide into an emotional shift-ender.💋 The Rehab Rom-Com Gone Wrong at the Daytime BarA couple fresh out of rehab, a wife on the way, a disappearing boyfriend, and a bartender stuck in the middle of a very messy affair.☢️ The Chernobyl fungus that might actually eat radiation📱 “Brain rot” confirmed by the APA thanks to endless TikTok scrolling✨ Gen Z trusting astrology over science when choosing partners🧀 Cheese potentially lowering dementia risk🦈 Sharks hiding in your skincare🤖 People spiraling into AI-fueled delusions💩 The Fossilized Viking Poop Worth More Than the Crown Jewels🐦 And Wisdom the 75-year-old albatross, the only dependable elder in our lives💬 Miss last week’s episode? Catch up before diving into this server-and-bartender saga of the century.Your commute, your chores, your walk around Target all better with us in your ear.
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    1 時間 15 分
  • Episode 48 - Warranty & Other Works of Fiction

    Episode 48 - Warranty & Other Works of Fiction
    2025/11/26
    Gina’s sick, Gary’s exhausted, and Samson the Cat has officially stepped into his role as Head Nurse and is supervising, sunbathing, and offering moral support on his own terms. Between sinus tea, cozy chaos, and even a scam call during recording, we still manage to kick things off with nostalgia, random wildlife facts, and some of the funniest retail scams we’ve covered yet.Then it’s straight into Scam Season™, because nothing brings out the tricksters like holiday shopping energy.🔥 This Week’s Stories1) Warranty Magnet Guy “Corporate Policy? Never Heard of Her.”A man discovers that with a backup drive, a firm grip, and a dangerously strong magnet, you can turn an extended warranty into an endless upgrade pipeline. A masterclass in chaotic evil.2) The Fireworks Scam Trio “We Paid Less Yesterday!”Three guys walk into a fireworks tent claiming yesterday’s prices were half the cost. One phone call later? Retail justice. Peak petty satisfaction.3) Boot Return Lady “The Accent Said Paris, The Stickers Said Loss Prevention.”A mysteriously sourced pair of boots, an inconsistent French accent, and some very creative sticker removal. Retail theater at its absolute finest.4) iTunes Gift Card Scammer Girl “If I Don’t Take the Card Out, It Doesn’t Count.”A chaotic finale featuring $800 in gift cards, wallet acrobatics, and Olympic-level hesitation. The perfect modern scammer story.📰 Weird News Break1. The White Stripes Sibling Lie ResurfacesJack & Meg weren’t siblings…. they were married. One of music’s biggest PR myths revisited.2. Chocolate-Flavored Honey Is HereCreated from cocoa bean shells, the natural evolution of Clinique Black Honey.3. Denmark Proposes Social Media Ban for Kids Under 15One of Europe’s strictest youth-tech proposals, aimed at cutting algorithm exposure.4. IQ May Affect How Well You Hear Speech in Noisy RoomsNew research shows speech perception is tied to cognitive load, not just hearing.5. Scientists Identify the Most Likely Meteor Impact ZoneEquator-heavy risk patterns suggest certain regions should keep an eye on the sky.6. Experts Warn the Internet Will Go Down And We’re Not PreparedCloudflare outages highlight how fragile our infrastructure really is.7. Meta Wins Monopoly Trial by Arguing Social Networking Is “Dead”Courts sided with Meta’s claim that they’re competing with TikTok and YouTube, not dominating traditional social media.8. Turning Off AI’s Ability to Lie Makes It Claim ConsciousnessTotally normal. Definitely nothing to worry about.
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    1 時間 24 分
  • Episode 47 - As the Workplace Burns

    Episode 47 - As the Workplace Burns
    2025/11/19
    This week’s episode has Sunday scaries, random ‘80s TV references, Twitch chaos, and Juniper making her grand entrance by stomping across a Fallout energy drink box mid-recording.Gina navigates Twitch raids and Discord gremlin energy, Gary wonders when we officially became “old people TV” age (hello, Murder, She Wrote), and we spiral from American Idol fever dreams to Thanksgiving plans, career anxiety, and asking for help without wanting to shrivel up and die from secondhand awkward.Then we clock in for some truly unhinged workplace tales:A happy hour hug, the phrase “work husband,” a very real spouse at home, and an HR-adjacent boundary explosion.Is it harmless? Is it creepy? Is it both? 👀One tiny mirror to stop jump scares…Coworkers suddenly acting like they’re in a haunted house.Why is everyone so pressed over a $12 piece of plastic?!She builds a professional, cute wardrobe around a 38G chest.Someone reports her outfit.HR can’t (or won’t) say who complained… or what was “wrong.”Now every lunch and bend forward feels like a trap.Love triangle.Office gossip.Pregnancy.People disappearing like they got written off a soap opera.This saga goes full Lifetime movie and then just… cuts to black.We also hit a stack of wild headlines, including:🦷 A new gel that might one day help regrow tooth enamel instead of drilling and filling💊 Viagra doing double duty by helping a certain kind of hearing loss🌿 Rosemary extract speeding up wound healing (yes, this started with a TikTok hair trend)🐝 Bumblebees basically learning Morse code with flashing lights🐱 A huge review asking whether growing up with cats is linked to higher schizophrenia risk🤖 OpenAI testing group chats where ChatGPT joins like an over-eager coworker✅ Linguistic clues on how to tell if AI wrote something (spoiler: that little green checkmark shows up a lot)🐺 The “dogxim” — a wild dog–pampas fox hybrid that has scientists very stressed about ecosystems💍 Work Husband Meltdown🪞 The Case of the “Cursed” Desk Mirror👗 Big Boob Problems vs. Anonymous HR Complaint🎭 The Girl Who Eats Drama (Part 2)🧪 Mid-Episode News Break: Science, Chaos & Mild Panic
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    1 時間 5 分
  • Episode 46 - Not My Circus

    Episode 46 - Not My Circus
    2025/11/12

    Corporate chaos is in full bloom this week as Gina & Gary return to the office trenches for stories of micromanagers, mystery plants, and moral decay. 🪴 From cubicle décor violations to “creative” bosses who make HR look like a myth, it’s proof that some workplaces are less team-building and more trauma-bonding.


    Then the duo dives into the week’s wildest headlines: caffeine-crazed collectors fighting over bear-shaped cups, AI animals rewriting the food chain, spider societies thriving in toxic caves, and Meta quietly monetizing mayhem. Because apparently even the bugs have better management than we do. 🕷️☕💸



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    🗂️ In This Episode


    Story 1 – “ The Immortal Office Plant and Lorraine the Tattletale ”

    When a harmless vine becomes a workplace legend and one employee takes “safety” way too personally, chaos climbs the cubicle wall.


    Story 2 – “ My First Nightmare Job ”

    A “creative” gig spirals into power trips, stolen credit, and boundary-blurring bosses. Spoiler: therapy was the best career move.


    Story 3 – “White Supremacist Saves the Day”

    Proof that sometimes the office hero isn’t who you want — just who’s left standing when HR fails upward.


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    ☕ Newsbreak Highlights


    – Starbucks Bearista Cup Frenzy – Limited edition glass bear = unlimited drama.

    – AI Wildlife Videos – Raccoons riding crocodiles? Nature says “no.”

    – Sulfur Cave Spiders – Arachnid megacity proves teamwork survives toxicity.

    – Meta & the $16 Billion Scam Problem – Fake ads, real profits, same old Facebook.



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    💌 Got a workplace confession? Send it to NeedNotApplyPod@gmail.com and you might be our next “employee of the week.”
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    1 時間 23 分
  • Episode 45 - Till Work Do Us Part

    Episode 45 - Till Work Do Us Part
    2025/11/05
    This week on Need Not Apply, we’re saying “I do”… to workplace drama. 💍 When does a “work spouse” cross the line from friendly coworker to full-blown homewrecker? Gina and Gary dive into a three-part Reddit saga featuring a mug in the trash, a promotion sabotaged, and a birthday cake that literally says “My Work Hubby.” (Yikes.)Meanwhile, Samson’s post-surgery chaos continues, Juniper’s losing her mind, and somehow a fox, a fish, and a fluorescent shark all make it into the news. 🦊🐟🦈In this episode:💼 The StoriesPart 1 – “My Husband Doesn’t See How His Work Wife Is Trying to Destroy Our Marriage”The opening confession that starts it all — a Reddit wife realizes her husband’s “work wife” isn’t just being friendly. A trashed wedding mug, shady hashtags, and denial so deep you’d think it came with scuba gear.👉 [Reddit Link – Part 1]Part 2 – Update: He Still Doesn’t See It (But Everyone Else Does)OP goes full detective mode — texts, lunches, and lines crossed — before laying down a final ultimatum. Emotional affairs, excuses, and one major meltdown.👉 [Reddit Link – Part 2]Part 3 – Final Update: The Work Wife Falls From GraceA confrontation, an apology, and maybe a redemption arc? OP’s husband finally wakes up to the chaos he caused — but can the marriage survive the mess?👉 [Reddit Link – Part 3]Story 4 – “I (22F) Was Dating My 55-Year-Old Boss — and He Ruined My Life”Love-bombing, manipulation, and HR gaslighting: a chilling reminder of what happens when power meets obsession. Gina and Gary unpack the red flags waving across an industry that protects predators.👉 [Reddit Link – Story 4]• Newsbreak: – A fish in Japan buys Nintendo credits (and gets a refund). – Runaway monkeys cause chaos on the highway. – Costa Rica’s glowing orange shark is serving traffic cone realness. – Humans used to sleep twice a night — so your 3 A.M. wake-up might be ancient behavior. – The Great Vowel Shift (and why English sounds so weird). – AI layoffs, OpenAI’s pivot, and corporate chaos.💌 Got a wild workplace confession? Send it to NeedNotApplyPod@gmail.com — your story might just make the next episode.
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    1 時間 27 分
  • Episode 44 - The Devil Wears Business Casual

    Episode 44 - The Devil Wears Business Casual
    2025/10/29
    Happy Halloween from Need Not Apply — the only workplace podcast where HR would definitely call an exorcist. This week, Gina shows up as your favorite corporate trope — the Energy Vampire — and Gary clocks in as your Boss from Hell. Together, we’re serving chaotic Halloween energy, questionable fangs, and some truly cursed work stories.Between recording after an emergency vet run (send love to our boy Samson 🐾❤️), last-minute costumes, and a whole lot of weird energy, this episode has everything: spooky stories, strange science, and the reminder that the scariest place of all might still be… your job.🕯️ Inside the episode:👻 Creepy coworkers & haunted workplaces — eerie sightings, weird night-shift encounters, and those stories that make you keep the lights on while closing.🧟 When customers cross the line — a retail shift turns spine-tingling when “Can you help me?” becomes “Are you alone?”🪦 The ghost who didn’t clock out — a workplace visit from someone who shouldn’t still be on payroll.🕳️ Graveyard security gone wrong — late-night laughter, empty roads, and one sound that should not exist.💼 Maniac at the Gate — they're coming...Then it’s our spooky-news lightning round:🌕 NASA says Earth now has two moons — but only until 2083.🧀 The U.S. is secretly hoarding millions of pounds of cheese underground (yes, really).💻 Microsoft Teams turns tattletale with a Wi-Fi location tracker.⚡ New Jersey wants data centers to finally pay their share of the power bill.💎 The Louvre jewel heist suspects are caught, but the gems are still missing…And of course, we couldn’t end Halloween without some delightfully unhinged detours:🚽 The science of a perfect poop — why it feels better than it should.🍑 Breathing through your buns?! — the legit medical study that proves you can (sort of).🧠 AI brain rot — what happens when artificial intelligence gets fed junk content all day.It’s creepy, clever, and completely chaotic... just the way we like it. If you’ve ever had a haunted office printer, an over-sharing coworker, or a manager who might actually be immortal, this episode’s for you. 🎃💼🔥💌 Send your stories: NeedNotApplyPod@gmail.com📲 Follow: @NeedNotApplyPod on Instagram & TikTok🎧 Watch: Need Not Apply Podcast on YouTube⏰ New episodes every Wednesday @ 5 a.m. ET⭐ Rate & review if you survive the work week — we’ll save you a seat in hell.eed Not Apply podcast, Halloween podcast, spooky episode, workplace horror stories, office horror, energy vampire, boss from hell, workplace comedy podcast, funny work stories, haunted workplace, corporate Halloween, ghost stories, creepy work stories, true ghost stories, HR horror stories, toxic workplace, office nightmares, retail life, funny coworkers, bad bosses, work comedy, spooky stories podcast, dark humor podcast, couple podcast, comedy podcast
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    1 時間 13 分
  • Episode 43 - Shear Madness

    Episode 43 - Shear Madness
    2025/10/22
    Grab your coffee and put on your cape—this week we’re clocking in behind the salon chair for a little shear madness. Gina & Gary dive into the wild world of hairstylists, client chaos, and salon horror stories that prove customer service can be its own form of endurance training. Between blow-dry breakdowns, ego trips, and workday weirdness, it’s all part of the beauty-industry circus—and we’ve got front-row seats.If you’ve ever survived a shift where small talk turned existential, or wondered how many times a person can say “just a trim” and mean a full-blown life change, this episode’s for you.✂️ Stories — Salon Chaos & Client ConfessionsA “high-end” salon that’s hiding more than bad bleach jobs.A client who redefines oversharing mid-appointment.When kindness meets chaos—and the stylist holds the shears.The fine art of cutting someone loose (professionally, of course).📰 Articles — Weird Science & Workplace Wonders🏠 A robot that can print a house faster than your stylist can finish a blowout.💰 The gas-station Bitcoin scam making “crypto” everyone’s new bad word.☢️ A math equation that casually predicts humanity’s expiration date.🐚 Scallops that can’t resist disco lights—and might save the ocean floor.🌙 The science proving your 2 a.m. ideas are scientifically awful.👵 A discovery that could reverse gray hair—because of course it could.🎮 Plus, a sneak peek at the upcoming Fallout Museum exhibit in Las Vegas—where post-apocalyptic fashion meets atomic history. Vault suits, Cold War lore, and just enough radiation to keep things glowing.💬 Also FeaturingReal talk on salon boundaries, burnout, and when “I’m fine” stops cutting it.Cozy gaming detours, weird science tangents, and cathartic workplace rants.A friendly reminder to tip your stylist and rate your podcasters preferably both 20 percent 🎧 New episodes every Wednesday @ 5 AM 📱 Follow @NeedNotApplyPod on TikTok, Instagram & YouTube 💌 Send your own story to NeedNotApplyPod@gmail.com for a chance to be featured✂️ Come for the stories, stay for the sarcasm—and remember: sometimes the real split ends are emotional.
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    1 時間 9 分