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Need Not Apply

Need Not Apply

著者： Gina and Gary Cavallo
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 Need Not Apply is a podcast where we read your real life work stories and react with levity and advice from our personal experience in the work world. Submit your stories to Neednotapplypod@gmail.comGina and Gary Cavallo
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  • Episode 50 - Nothing Gold Can Stay

    Episode 50 - Nothing Gold Can Stay
    2025/12/10
    Welcome back to Need Not Apply and HAPPY 50th to us! 🎉 🎂The traditional 50-year gift is gold, which feels appropriate because this episode has all the shine of a milestone… and all the chaos of two people who absolutely did not plan ahead. We hit the big 5-0 and you didn’t even get us a card, a cupcake, a gold paperclip ... nothing.To celebrate, we’re diving into Best of Redditor Updates — because if nothing gold can stay, then neither can these workplace disasters, identity crises, poop bandits, and HR nightmares. And for an extra twist, we take turns choosing each other’s Reddit stories like a workplace-themed Choose Your Own Adventure. Honestly? We’re the gift. At this point we’re just hoping AARP sends us something.THIS WEEKS LEGENDS:• Before There Was Karen, There Was Shirley : a retro, pre-Karen-era masterpiece in which a woman weaponizes confusion, entitlement, and pure chaos long before the meme-industrial complex caught up.• The Employee Who Shape-Shifts at Lunch : one minute she’s corporate Barbie, the next she’s giving “mysterious underground DJ” vibes. HR can’t keep up, her manager can’t keep up, honestly physics can’t keep up.• The Poop Bandit of Cubicle Row : someone’s leaving… messages. In smeared form. On walls. And a coworker’s car door. This isn’t malicious compliance — this is malicious biological warfare.• OOP Gets Locked in the Workplace Bathroom After Hours: imagine clocking out mentally, walking into the bathroom, and emerging into a silent building that’s already closed. It’s giving “night at the museum,” but with more panic and fluorescent lighting.SCIENCE, NATURE & OTHER THINGS TRYING TO KILL US• Farts Might Protect Your Brain — in a plot twist no one asked for, scientists say the smell of doom may actually be the smell of neuroprotection. The future of memory care is apparently… gas-powered.• Roman Soldiers Had Emotional Support Monkeys — nothing says “elite military force” like marching into battle with your tiny macaque bestie who probably stole half the camp’s rations.• Australian Firehawks Are Out Here Committing Arson — yes, the birds have learned fire as a tool. Yes, they use it strategically. Yes, Australia should be very concerned.• AI Researchers Invented Dangerous ‘Incantations’ — basically spellbook-level prompts that jailbreak chatbots like they’re summoning forbidden spirits. Hogwarts, but for tech bros.keywords - best of redditor updates, reddit workplace stories, workplace drama podcast, work humor, millennial podcast, malicious compliance, funny work stories, coworker horror stories, unhinged reddit tales, entitled customer story, weird coworker behavior, workplace bathroom nightmare, HR horror story, fart science news, roman soldiers pets, australian firehawks, AI jailbreak research, chaotic storytime podcast, reddit story podcast, comedy storytelling podcast
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    1 時間 12 分
  • Episode 49: Bar Tales & Server Fails

    Episode 49: Bar Tales & Server Fails
    2025/12/03
    🎙️ We’re back for another week of workplace chaos, post-holiday exhaustion, and the kind of unhinged tangents only we could deliver.It’s Monday night, Gary’s eyes are burning from a full-blown, traffic-fueled meltdown, we may need a medic, Gina barely survived Black Friday retail warfare, and both of us have officially entered that end-of-year delirium where time isn’t real and everything is annoying.Between Cyber Monday deals that aren’t deals, customers who somehow know more about your job than you do (according to them), and Gary noticing half the highway chewing their nails like they’re waiting for a court verdict… we had plenty to decompress before even touching a single story.We also spiral into:🎈 A totally unnecessary deep dive into the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade🎅 The chaos of mall Santa season🐾 And Santa Paws, Gina’s absolute favorite day of the year (tiny dogs in sweaters, enough said)Once we get all that out of our system?Oh, we SERVE.🍷 A server’s nightmare four-top with a garlic “allergy,” a baked potato war, and an aggressively unwell Sheila who argues about wine like she’s auditioning for Real Housewives: Early Bird Special Edition.🍺 A bartender who walks into absolute mayhem — a coworker mid-seizure, customers dipping without paying, and the kind of small-town bar drama that feels like a Netflix miniseries waiting to happen.😵‍💫 A meltdown at a toxic pizza shop where one loud wrong-wine accusation, one milestone cancer celebration, and one exhausted server collide into an emotional shift-ender.💋 The Rehab Rom-Com Gone Wrong at the Daytime BarA couple fresh out of rehab, a wife on the way, a disappearing boyfriend, and a bartender stuck in the middle of a very messy affair.☢️ The Chernobyl fungus that might actually eat radiation📱 “Brain rot” confirmed by the APA thanks to endless TikTok scrolling✨ Gen Z trusting astrology over science when choosing partners🧀 Cheese potentially lowering dementia risk🦈 Sharks hiding in your skincare🤖 People spiraling into AI-fueled delusions💩 The Fossilized Viking Poop Worth More Than the Crown Jewels🐦 And Wisdom the 75-year-old albatross, the only dependable elder in our lives💬 Miss last week’s episode? Catch up before diving into this server-and-bartender saga of the century.Your commute, your chores, your walk around Target all better with us in your ear.
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    1 時間 15 分
  • Episode 48 - Warranty & Other Works of Fiction

    Episode 48 - Warranty & Other Works of Fiction
    2025/11/26
    Gina’s sick, Gary’s exhausted, and Samson the Cat has officially stepped into his role as Head Nurse and is supervising, sunbathing, and offering moral support on his own terms. Between sinus tea, cozy chaos, and even a scam call during recording, we still manage to kick things off with nostalgia, random wildlife facts, and some of the funniest retail scams we’ve covered yet.Then it’s straight into Scam Season™, because nothing brings out the tricksters like holiday shopping energy.🔥 This Week’s Stories1) Warranty Magnet Guy “Corporate Policy? Never Heard of Her.”A man discovers that with a backup drive, a firm grip, and a dangerously strong magnet, you can turn an extended warranty into an endless upgrade pipeline. A masterclass in chaotic evil.2) The Fireworks Scam Trio “We Paid Less Yesterday!”Three guys walk into a fireworks tent claiming yesterday’s prices were half the cost. One phone call later? Retail justice. Peak petty satisfaction.3) Boot Return Lady “The Accent Said Paris, The Stickers Said Loss Prevention.”A mysteriously sourced pair of boots, an inconsistent French accent, and some very creative sticker removal. Retail theater at its absolute finest.4) iTunes Gift Card Scammer Girl “If I Don’t Take the Card Out, It Doesn’t Count.”A chaotic finale featuring $800 in gift cards, wallet acrobatics, and Olympic-level hesitation. The perfect modern scammer story.📰 Weird News Break1. The White Stripes Sibling Lie ResurfacesJack & Meg weren’t siblings…. they were married. One of music’s biggest PR myths revisited.2. Chocolate-Flavored Honey Is HereCreated from cocoa bean shells, the natural evolution of Clinique Black Honey.3. Denmark Proposes Social Media Ban for Kids Under 15One of Europe’s strictest youth-tech proposals, aimed at cutting algorithm exposure.4. IQ May Affect How Well You Hear Speech in Noisy RoomsNew research shows speech perception is tied to cognitive load, not just hearing.5. Scientists Identify the Most Likely Meteor Impact ZoneEquator-heavy risk patterns suggest certain regions should keep an eye on the sky.6. Experts Warn the Internet Will Go Down And We’re Not PreparedCloudflare outages highlight how fragile our infrastructure really is.7. Meta Wins Monopoly Trial by Arguing Social Networking Is “Dead”Courts sided with Meta’s claim that they’re competing with TikTok and YouTube, not dominating traditional social media.8. Turning Off AI’s Ability to Lie Makes It Claim ConsciousnessTotally normal. Definitely nothing to worry about.
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    1 時間 24 分
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