What if being capable is the very thing keeping you from dealing with what is really going on underneath? That is the question at the center of David Haskell’s story.

David was a world class drummer who joined the Blue Devils and performed at Disney. Underneath the achievements was a boy who lost his mother at four, learned at nine that she had taken her own life, and spent years trying to earn the respect of a critical and emotionally unavailable father. Becoming the best drummer in the country was meant to prove something. It never did.

David names codependency as his first and worst addiction, and alcohol and drugs came later. He hit rock bottom more than once over 11 years, lost his job at Disney, and became a hermit. The final turning point came when his 14 year old daughter told him he was terrible. About eight years ago he stopped drinking and using. He is now a writer and teacher, still doing inner child work, and working on an inner child book.

Chris brings his own story, from hitting rock bottom as a police officer to learning to control his inner voices instead of being controlled by them. They compare notes on the inner critic, including how David says checking in with it every day cut its influence by 90 percent, and the question he suggests asking: why does it matter if someone is judging you?

David joins from Japan, where he found spiritual awakening and healing after hitting rock bottom. He also talks about rebuilding his relationship with his daughter, from difficult early trips to being travel companions today, and says recovery from codependency is painful but worth it, especially for men taught to hide their emotions.

If you have built your life on being capable, this one is for you. His closing advice for men is two words: know thyself.

Connect with David Haskell

Email: david@daviddeanehaskell.com
Website: daviddeanehaskell.com

Connect with Motivated Masculine Men

Website: www.motivatedmasculinemen.com
Email: brotherhood@motivatedmasculinemen.com

If you’d like to be a guest on the podcast, or know someone who would be a great fit, we’d love to hear from you. Get in touch by email.

What You’ll Learn

In this conversation you’ll learn:

• Why being capable can become a way of avoiding what is really going on underneath
• How a critical, emotionally unavailable father and the early loss of his mother shaped David’s drive to prove himself
• Why David calls codependency his first and worst addiction, and how it fed his need for approval
• How rock bottom came more than once over 11 years, and what finally pushed him toward recovery
• How inner child work addresses the trauma and low self esteem underneath addictive behavior
• How to manage an inner critic without letting it run you, including the question David suggests asking when you feel judged
• Why Chris believes everything happens for you, not to you, and how David came to see his hardest experiences as growth
• How to tell friends from acquaintances, and why a small circle of trusted people can feel like family
• What rebuilding a relationship with your child can look like after divorce and recovery
• Why recovery from codependency is painful but worth it, especially for men taught to hide their emotions
• How living in Japan became part of David’s healing and spiritual awakening
• Why David’s advice for men comes down to two words: know thyself

Pornography addiction is not just about the porn. For the men Jake Kastleman works with, the real question is what they have been escaping from, and what they have been trying to feel that they are not experiencing.

Jake is a husband and father with a background in psychology, and his own story starts young. He grew up feeling the stress and anxiety in his home with no idea how to process it, so he turned to video games and food. Pseudo accomplishments and pseudo safety, in his words. Over the years that pattern escalated into pornography and substance use. Getting sober was only the beginning of the deeper work. Today he helps men build a lifestyle of recovery around emotions, neurology, biology, and relationships.

Chris brings his own side to the conversation. He talks about chasing adrenaline as a police officer, shutting emotions down during close protection work, and learning later that they still need to be processed safely. Together they get into stoicism versus emotional mindfulness, why effortless dopamine hits from porn and social media create dopamine debt, and why the effort and connection in a real relationship work differently.

Jake also shares practical tools, including the RAIL method, the FISH acronym, and internal family systems therapy, along with the often overlooked impact of nutrition, exercise, and sleep. The conversation lands on brotherhood, on raising kids who can handle hard emotions, and on the point Jake closes with: men support each other best by being present, not by trying to fix each other.

If you have ever asked yourself what you are really reaching for when you scroll, or you know a man stuck in that loop, this is an honest place to start.

Connect with Jake Kastleman

Email: jake@nomoredesire.com
Website: www.nomoredesire.com
Apply for a Discovery Call/Consultation: https://www.nomoredesire.com/application

Connect with Motivated Masculine Men

Website: www.motivatedmasculinemen.com
Email: brotherhood@motivatedmasculinemen.com

If you’d like to be a guest on the podcast, or know someone who would be a great fit, we’d love to hear from you. Get in touch by email.

What You’ll Learn

In this conversation you’ll learn:

• Why pornography addiction is not just about the behavior, but about what a man is escaping and what he is trying to feel
• How early stress at home, with no way to process it, pushed Jake toward video games and food as pseudo safety
• How that pattern escalated into pornography and substance use, and why getting sober was only the start of the deeper work
• Why effortless dopamine hits from porn and social media create dopamine debt
• Why real relationships, including sex within them, involve a more balanced dopamine release because they take effort and connection
• The difference between stoic skills and emotional mindfulness, and why men need both
• How internal family systems therapy treats cravings and hard emotions as parts of the mind to meet with curiosity, calm, and compassion
• How trauma can disconnect first responders from feeling emotions in the body, and the practices that help, including meditation, writing, and professional support
• How the RAIL method and the FISH acronym build self awareness and emotional regulation
• Why nutrition, exercise, and sleep are an often overlooked part of addiction recovery
• How to teach children to relate to and respond to their hard emotions
• Why brotherhood matters, and why presence beats problem solving when a man is struggling

Roberto Ortiz spent his career protecting people from some of the most dangerous men in Mexico. Then one night at a checkpoint, everything he built his identity around was taken from him in seconds.

Roberto started in logistics and supply chain management, working for companies like Honeywell and Jabil, before joining the police in 2019. He rose to lead a high impact operations group, similar to a SWAT team, running raids and investigations against organized crime and cartels out of the Attorney General's office in Chihuahua, including in Ciudad Juarez. He talks honestly about what that work actually pays, often around $1,500 USD a month after several years of service, and how underpayment creates the exact conditions that leave officers vulnerable to corruption.

In 2022, Roberto and his team were pulled back from vacation after a major drug bust involving roughly 500 kilos of fentanyl and crystal meth. A high ranking commander and an immigration officer had been kidnapped and killed, and Roberto's team set up a checkpoint on the road leading to where the attackers were believed to be hiding. While checking vehicles that night, a car rammed into him at high speed. He suffered catastrophic injuries and massive blood loss, and his partner Edgar used makeshift tourniquets to keep him alive while Roberto called his wife to say goodbye.

What followed exposed the gaps in Mexico's medical system. A government hospital turned him away for not being in their network, and a private hospital demanded $25,000 in cash his family did not have, before he was finally admitted to a public hospital. During transport, Roberto experienced what he describes as an out of body moment, seeing his life pass in golden light, at a point when doctors gave him only a five percent chance of survival. He survived, but both legs were eventually amputated above the knee.

Roberto speaks candidly about what came after. The confusion and fear in the early days of recovery, the strength his wife gave him just by being present, and why relearning how to live again was harder than the injury itself. Left without real support from his employer for two years, he built his own rehabilitation program, studying clinics overseas and working with a local prosthetics provider to design his own exercises. Today his mission has shifted toward intelligence work, speaking, and podcasting, using his story to help other men find purpose after everything has been taken from them.

Connect with Roberto Ortiz

TikTok - @revixi1

Instagram - @robertoortiz.oficial

Email - roberto.ortiz.puertas@gmail.com

Support Robert with getting new prosthetics

GOFUND ME PAGE

Connect with Motivated Masculine Men

Website - www.motivatedmasculinemen.com

Email - brotherhood@motivatedmasculinemen.com

If you'd like to be a guest on the podcast, or know someone who would be a great fit, we'd love to hear from you. Get in touch by email.

What You'll Learn

In this conversation you'll learn:

• ​How Roberto transitioned from a logistics and supply chain career into becoming a police officer in 2019
• ​What it was like leading a high impact operations group against organized crime and cartels in Mexico
• ​The events of the 2022 checkpoint operation that led to Roberto being struck by a vehicle at high speed
• ​How his partner used makeshift tourniquets to keep him alive after catastrophic blood loss
• ​Why he called his wife to say goodbye during the incident, believing he would not survive
• ​The failures in Mexico's medical system that nearly cost him his life before he reached proper care
• ​What he experienced during a near death moment, and how doctors gave him only a five percent chance of survival
• ​How his wife's presence gave him the strength to get through the hardest parts of recovery
• ​Why learning to live again was harder than the physical injuries themselves
• ​How he built his own rehabilitation program after being left without support for two years