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  • Episode 26: I'm going to fight until I get bored

    Episode 26: I'm going to fight until I get bored
    2026/10/07
    Both hosts have picked up a new hobby in the last week, and neither is remotely surprised. They are three weeks out from a Hong Kong Disney trip with friends and four small kids, which Alisha has turned into a full creative project: matching t-shirts made on her Cricut with iron-on vinyl, "Disney bounding" outfit plans, and bedazzled sneakers for the kids (and herself) so nobody is clip-clopping around the park in dress-up heels. Rhiannon has fallen into cross stitch and embroidery after buying kits for her daughter, then buying many more for herself, then discovering she'd accidentally bought embroidery instead. The episode opens with a very good week: school holidays that finally have some rhythm, a bush-school day outdoors, and a first-ever two-wheeler bike ride — plus the saga of a six-centimetre plastic spider named Spidey, who now has a handbag, a ribbon harness and a Halloween costume to match. From there the hosts dig into the "hobby graveyard" every ADHD and AuDHD household knows: the knitting, the sewing, the Lego, the crates of half-finished kits, and the habit of offloading a lapsed hobby onto another neurodivergent friend. It's a warm, funny episode about hyperfocus, perfectionism (especially when your child "does it wrong"), and trying to find hobbies that give your brain something to do that isn't your phone. What We Talk About in This Episode Why a week outdoors in the sunshine has made such a difference to mood in the school holidaysA six-centimetre plastic spider called Spidey, and the handbag, ribbon harness and Halloween costume that followedA first ride on a two-wheeler bike, and the "I'm going to do this now" determination of a neurodivergent kidPreparing for a Hong Kong Disney trip: Disney bounding, matching outfits, Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and iron-on vinyl t-shirtsBedazzled sneakers as a compromise to avoid high-heel arguments at the parkFalling down a cross stitch and embroidery rabbit hole — and discovering you've bought embroidery insteadBuying multiples of something you love "in case it breaks" (four identical dresses and three matching kits)The hobby that is also a stain-removal obsession, and why "just buy new ones" isn't the pointBeing "not crafty by nature" but determined enough to sew, cut down tablecloths into curtains or hack a foam spider into a costumeHobbies that don't continue, and offloading them onto other neurodivergent peopleKeeping a "butterfly board" of ideas for later instead of acting on every new interestChoosing a hobby that isn't your phone, and that your child can see and join inTeaching your own child a skill versus someone else doing it — and perfectionism when they "do it wrong"Lego, second-hand sets and the tension between building to the instructions and letting a child play freelyDifferent "flavours" of neurodivergence, and a friend who measures every picture before hanging itDisney merchandise guilt, "YOLO" shopping and why a spending plan can be derailed by PDASetting project deadlines to give hyperfocus a finish lineA Facebook Marketplace seller whose hobby-graveyard listings are comedy gold Key Takeaways A new hobby is often a new hyperfocus: intense, fast and not always sustainable. Naming that, rather than judging it, makes it easier to enjoy the burst and let it go when it fades.A project with a deadline (shoes to bedazzle before a trip, a costume before Halloween) can give hyperfocus a finish line — as long as it doesn't take over sleep and other priorities.A hobby that keeps your hands busy and produces something your child can see can feel better than another hour on a phone — even if your brain keeps running while you stitch.Perfectionism shows up in hobbies too: it can be hard to watch your child "do it wrong," and sometimes someone else teaching the skill works better for everyone.Outdoors, sunshine, movement and connection — a bike ride and a chat in the sun — can lift the mood of the whole household, even when you don't want to go outside. Who This Episode Is For Anyone with a drawer, shelf or crate of half-finished kits and "I'll get back to it" supplies. Parents trying to find a hobby that isn't scrolling. Anyone about to take small children to Disney and already planning outfits, shoes and ears. And anyone who recognises the thrill of "I'm going to work this out" — right up until they don't. A Message From This Episode A hobby doesn't have to be finished to count. If it gave you joy, kept your hands busy, or gave you something to do alongside your kid, it did its job — and the hobby graveyard is just proof that you tried things. Follow & Connect Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered Subscribe & Follow New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
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    43 分
  • Episode 25: Mine's not regulated

    Episode 25: Mine's not regulated
    2026/09/30
    School holidays have just started for Rhiannon and are halfway done for Alisha, and both houses are full of big feelings. Alisha shares a car-park standoff over a seatbelt and a tearful rescue of a dead moth; Rhiannon talks about a daughter who can't decide on shoes, a mum who can't decide on dinner, and a lift being drilled in the building at the exact wrong moment. It's the perfect setup for this week's topic: dysregulation. The hosts go back to basics with proper definitions. Dysregulation isn't a mood, a choice or "bad behaviour" — it's a nervous system that has lost its ability to get back to baseline after stress. They walk through the "window of tolerance," the difference between hyper-arousal (big, loud, fast, even giddy) and hypo-arousal (quiet, foggy, boneless, shut down), and the body and pattern signs that are easy to mistake for plain behaviour, like regression, increased stimming, appetite changes, sleep disruption and all-or-nothing thinking. Then they flip it around to what dysregulation looks like in adults — snapping, racing thoughts, jaw clenching, numbing out with a screen, being unable to decide what's for dinner — and how RSD, masking and sensory overload stack on top for neurodivergent parents. The second half is the practical part: what co-regulation actually is ("lending your regulated nervous system"), a step-by-step sequence for doing it, and what to do when you're the one who's dysregulated and there's no one to co-regulate you. What We Talk About in This Episode Why school holidays can bring more big feelings, not fewer, when a child who masks all day at school is no longer using up that energyParenting without the authoritarian style you grew up with, and why that style can still creep back in when your tank is emptyWhat dysregulation actually is: a physiological state, not a choice, and not "being bad"The window of tolerance, and why it can be smaller for neurodivergent brainsHyper-arousal in kids: meltdowns, lashing out, bolting, talking faster or non-stop, and giddiness or silliness that won't settleHypo-arousal in kids: going quiet, zoning out, clumsiness, going limp, monosyllabic answersBody and pattern signs that get mistaken for behaviour: regression (baby talk, clinginess, forgetting how to dress), increased stimming, appetite changes, sleep disruption, and all-or-nothing thinkingWhat dysregulation looks like in adults: snapping, racing thoughts, catastrophising, jaw clenching, shallow breathing, and the quieter version of checking out, scrolling and struggling to make simple decisionsHow RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria), masking and sensory overload layer on top for neurodivergent parentsWhy generic advice like "just take a breath" doesn't always work, and what can help instead (pressure, movement, removing sensory input first)What co-regulation actually means, and why self-regulation is the end goal rather than the starting pointA step-by-step sequence: regulate yourself first, reduce your own output, connection before correction, and repair after rather than duringWhat to do when you're the dysregulated one: self-soothing anchors and pre-planned "when I'm dysregulated, I will…" scriptsMaking a calm-moment craft project with your child: a box of cards with regulation ideas for both of youWhy self-care that doesn't switch your brain off (like tidying) can quietly leave you running on emptyDysregulation as a skills gap or a capacity gap — "too much input, not enough resource left" — rather than defiance or manipulation Key Takeaways Dysregulation is a nervous system state, not a behaviour problem. You can't reason someone out of it — you have to help them feel safe first.Hyper-arousal isn't always a meltdown. Giddiness, non-stop talking and silliness that won't settle can be early signs that a child is heading toward overload, which gives you a chance to de-escalate earlier.Regression, clinginess, increased stimming, sleep changes and food refusal can all be stress signals, not attention-seeking or defiance.You can't co-regulate someone else from a dysregulated state. Coming back to your own window first — name it, breathe, unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, feet flat on the floor — comes before everything else.Connection before correction, and repair after, not during: save the lecture, consequences and teaching moment for when everyone is back in their window — and not every moment needs to become a teaching moment.Pre-planning helps. A little menu of 60-second, 5-minute and longer regulation options, written down in a calm moment, gives you something to reach for when you can't think. Who This Episode Is For Parents who are tired of hearing "just stay calm" when their own nervous system is already maxed out. Parents of kids who hold it together at school and fall apart at home. Anyone who grew up with authoritarian parenting and is trying to do it differently without a roadmap. And anyone who recognised themselves in the "I can run ...
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    41 分
  • Episode 24: It's a fun place inside my head

    Episode 24: It's a fun place inside my head
    2026/09/23
    Alisha plays support person for a friend's IVF egg retrieval, Rhiannon unpacks what happened when she lapsed on her GLP-1 microdose, and both reflect on parenting without repeating how they were raised. This week starts with a genuinely lovely story: Alisha spent her morning as an emergency support person for a woman she didn't know, picked up from an IVF clinic after her eighth egg retrieval, because clinics require someone to sign patients out. It's a small window into the fertility world most listeners won't have seen, and a nice reminder that community call-outs work. From there it's a proper September check-in. Alisha's been slowly excavating a hallway full of unsold "fertility hamper" stock — a classic ADHD business idea she followed through on buying for but never marketing — and has finally regrouped it into a bookcase instead of a guilt-inducing pile of pink boxes. Her Father's Day also went sideways in a very relatable way: a surprise gift ambush from her daughter, a full meltdown over finding a friend to see the new Harry Potter movie, and a last-minute dash that somehow still went smoothly because she'd booked tickets in advance. The heart of the episode, though, is Rhiannon's health update. She's been on a low-dose GLP-1 medication for chronic pain and inflammation (she lives with fibromyalgia and lipedema) and has genuinely noticed her patience, executive function and pain levels shift for the better on it — but she's lapsed on taking it for a few weeks, and the return of tailbone pain, neck pain and headaches has her wondering how much of it was doing. It's a candid, detailed conversation about what microdosing GLP-1s for pain and inflammation (rather than weight loss) can actually look like, including a rough reaction to the originally prescribed dose that had her back on the couch. The episode closes on something both hosts keep coming back to: how understanding their own neurodivergent brains has completely changed how they parent, especially around not squashing their daughters' joy and excitement in public the way they were taught to as kids. What We Talk About in This Episode Alisha's morning as a support person for a friend's IVF egg retrieval, and what that process actually involvesFinally dealing with a hallway full of unsold "fertility hamper" business stock — an ADHD hyperfocus idea with zero follow-through on the marketingClearing out under the bed (and the immediate chaos of kids, pets and soft toys moving straight back in)A Father's Day gift ambush, a Harry Potter meltdown over not having a friend to go with, and a last-minute dash to the cinema that still went smoothlyDysregulation at the movies and in Ikea afterward, and choosing seats deliberately to give room for itParenting differently to avoid repeating an authoritarian upbringing, even when it's exhausting in the momentRhiannon's September reset: finishing a storage room clean-out, a big pile of folding, and embracing "a win is a win" instead of chasing perfectionSwapping to a new doona and navigating a Father's Day scrapbook project with a daughter who wants creative inputWashing machine, dishwasher and dryer maintenance updatesListener feedback on the Kat Richardson "Handfish" episode, and discovering there's a real one at the Melbourne AquariumComing off a low-dose GLP-1 medication and noticing pain, inflammation, patience and impulse control decline within a few weeksThe return of tailbone pain, neck pain and headaches, and physio visitsWhat actually happened on a smart scale while microdosing: stable muscle mass and bone density, only inflammation-related weight shiftingAppetite and eating changes on a low-dose GLP-1, including craving more protein and less "girl dinner" skippingA rough reaction to the originally prescribed full dose (severe night sweats, near-fainting) and staying on a half dose insteadUsing GLP-1 microdosing for pain and inflammation conditions like fibromyalgia and lipedema, rather than for weight lossThird-term exhaustion, being your child's "safe space," and how that wears on a parentReflecting on how an ADHD/AuDHD diagnosis changed their parenting instincts, and what it might have looked like without that awarenessLetting a daughter be excited and "squirrelly" in public instead of squashing her joy to manage what strangers might thinkA very ADHD "what's in my pocket" cleaning haul: random found objects and a hair tie that keeps reappearing around the housePerfectionism, control, and letting go of the fantasy of a permanently tidy kids' room Key Takeaways GLP-1 medications are being used off-label at low doses by some people for pain and inflammation management (including fibromyalgia and lipedema), not just weight loss — and the effects on things like patience, impulse control and executive function can be noticeable enough that coming off it highlights just how much it was helping.A "high" prescribed dose isn't automatically the right one — a lower, self-titrated dose ...
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    29 分
  • Episode 23: Spring Has Sprung, I Hope You've Got Your Fucking Index Cards Ready

    Episode 23: Spring Has Sprung, I Hope You've Got Your Fucking Index Cards Ready
    2026/09/16
    Alisha and Rhiannon check in on their September reset a few weeks late, swap DIY disaster stories, and get honest about sleep, self-care and why "new season, new us" rarely goes to plan. It's officially the first day of spring, and the hosts are marking it with the September reset they promised a couple of episodes ago — with the honest caveat that by the time you're hearing this, it's actually a few weeks later. Rhiannon kicks things off admitting she's behind on the index card system, then immediately proves she's been busy anyway: recaulking a bathtub at midnight, popping a power board with two hairdryers, and getting genuinely stuck under her daughter's bed with a dog licking her and a mystery cat mess to contend with. Alisha, meanwhile, is a few steps ahead with a Cricut-labelled gold box and rose-gold dividers, and has already ticked off washing machine, dryer and dishwasher maintenance before September even started. Between the chaos, there's some genuinely useful systems talk: how to break big recurring chores into small, movable index cards so nothing feels overwhelming, why monthly and quarterly tasks work better as "whenever you get to it" cards than fixed deadlines, and how something as small as boiling the kettle can become a built-in cue to knock off a two-minute task. The episode also covers a fair bit of real life: Rhiannon's medication dosage increase and the caregiving load of taking her dad to a growing list of specialists, a very relatable bedding-and-pillow shopping spiral from Alisha, travel admin for two upcoming trips (a Hong Kong Disney trip with friends and this year's Bali flights, booked earlier than usual), and a genuine, reflective shoutout to Alisha's other podcast, No Need for Prince Charming, and how dramatically her life has changed in the four and a half years since her first episode there. It closes on sleep — specifically, why "just get eight hours" doesn't work the same for every ADHD brain, and the hosts' very different optimal numbers. What We Talk About in This Episode Kicking off the September reset and the index card system a few weeks behind schedule (and being okay with that)Rhiannon's bathtub recaulking, a mattress-cleaning mishap, and popping a power board with two hairdryers at onceGetting properly stuck under the bed while reorganising — claustrophobia, an overly affectionate dog, and unidentified cat messGiving yourself permission to sit down and start a system instead of only being productive while physically movingWhy it's hard to plan or "maintain" a room when you can't even get into it yetBuilding an index card system with labels, laminating, and a dedicated Notes app dump for things to convert to cards laterBreaking big or vague tasks ("clean the bathroom") down into their actual small steps for a better dopamine hitWhy monthly and quarterly chores work better as index cards you can shuffle around than fixed calendar deadlinesAdding a wish list card (Lego, in Rhiannon's case) to curb impulse buying by capturing the urge instead of acting on itBooking flights and accommodation for a group Hong Kong Disney trip with friends, and this year's Bali flights earlier than usualWhat's actually behind Rhiannon's recent medication dosage increase, and the caregiving load of taking her dad to a growing list of specialist appointmentsFinding a sense of control through caregiving and admin, even while feeling overwhelmed by everything else going onA Fresh Sheet Friday, a mystery stain, and washing the same load of bedding twice in one weekendAn extremely relatable bedding and pillow shopping spiral neither of them can really afford right nowA genuine shoutout to Alisha's other podcast, No Need for Prince Charming, and reflecting on how much has changed personally in the four and a half years since her first episodeLooking back on early guests, a memorable birthday in Fiji, and how the hosts' friendship beganNew season intentions: blocking out one work-free house day a month, and trying to stop cleaning only on weekendsThe only period either host has ever had a genuinely organised home (hint: it involved medication)Using natural daily pauses — like the kettle boiling — as a built-in cue to knock off a small task"Bookmarking" an unfinished task on a spare card instead of staying up until 3am to finish itFinding your actual optimal sleep number, and why eight hours isn't the magic fix for every ADHD brain Key Takeaways A system doesn't have to be finished or perfect to start working — starting with an imperfect, partial index card setup and letting it evolve beats waiting for the "complete" version that never arrives.Breaking a vague, overwhelming task ("clean the bathroom") into its real component steps gives you more individual wins to tick off, which matters for ADHD brains that run on dopamine from visible progress.A recurring task doesn't need a fixed deadline to be useful — letting a monthly or quarterly chore move from week to week until it ...
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    42 分
  • Episode 22 - A win is a win, ok?

    Episode 22 - A win is a win, ok?
    2026/09/09
    This week is a proper life-update episode, and there's a lot to get through. Rhiannon opens with a 20-minute saga about a UK-exclusive Stickman Book Week costume that went missing for days, involved a full panic spiral, an actual Etsy tarot reading, and a search through every storage tub in the house — before turning up in a laundry bag the whole time. Alisha, meanwhile, had her own Book Week near-miss involving a garage door, a trapped car, and a very fast walk to school dressed as Pig the Pug. From there the conversation gets into something genuinely useful: what an ADHD medication review actually involves once you're diagnosed, why it happens every two years, and why the cost of that appointment quietly prices some people out of staying on their medication. Rhiannon shares her own experience moving up a dosage and the very real anxiety of knowing there's a ceiling she'll eventually hit. The back half of the episode is a decluttering and systems deep-dive — Rhiannon has officially finished her Wall of Doom boxes (five bags and two tubs of rubbish gone), and she and Alisha compare notes on the "everything that doesn't belong here goes in a tub" method versus a Marie Kondo-style category sort, plus a genuinely impressive rundown of the custom iPhone automations Rhiannon built to get her calendar, reminders and daily to-dos working together without another app. It closes on something heavier and lighter at once: Alisha's unexpected tears over Dolly Parton's death, and a wider conversation about why grieving a celebrity who's simply always been there — a Dolly, a Queen, a Robin Williams — is a completely normal, very human response, especially for brains wired for strong attachment. What We Talk About in This Episode A listener message about relating to Rhiannon's AUDHD content more than pure ADHD content, and the value of hosting two different neurotypes on one showThe Stickman Book Week costume saga: a UK-exclusive item, a full panic spiral, an Etsy tarot reading, and finding it in the last place anyone would lookAlisha's own Book Week near-miss: a blocked garage, a trapped car, and getting dressed as Pig the Pug in five minutes flatWhat an ADHD psych medication review actually involves, why it's required every two years, and why the cost can be prohibitive for people who need it mostRevisiting the ongoing question of whether to pursue diagnosis or medication for their daughters, and a GP's advice to reassess around pubertyRhiannon's medication dosage increase (50mg to 60mg), building tolerance over time, and the anxiety of knowing there's a maximum doseThe Wall of Doom boxes: officially, completely gone — five bags and two tubs of rubbish cleared outThe "everything that doesn't belong on this surface goes in a tub" decluttering method, and why it beats trying to sort everything perfectly the first timeComparing that method to a Marie Kondo-style category sort (Alisha's approach with her wardrobe), and why neither method works for every kind of clutter"Pockets of organisation": aesthetically pleasing drawers next to doom boxes that still haven't been dealt withWhy digital planners don't stick for ADHD brains, and the ongoing index card system progress (and self-judgment about handwriting)Rhiannon's custom iPhone Shortcuts automations: a 3am daily pull of all calendars into a reminders list, a "Deal With This Later" photo shortcut, a "Things For Later" bookmarking shortcut, and a voice-to-text "Brain Dump"/"Word Vomit" shortcutComparing ChatGPT and Claude for building step-by-step tech projects when you need everything explained in detailUsing Alexa as a shared household to-do list, and wishing all the different systems talked to each otherKindergarten news-and-show-and-tell chaos, and losing track of items mid-declutterThe "speed bump" brain: why a changed plan or a person arriving early can completely derail your ability to function that morningCrying over Dolly Parton's death, the Imagination Library book programme, and explaining grief to a six-year-oldParasocial relationships and "generational cornerstones" — why grieving someone you've never met but who's always been part of your life is a real and valid responseTwo pieces of good news to end on: strong feedback from Alisha's membership beta group, and Rhiannon's daughter's first solo in a musical theatre performance Key Takeaways ADHD medication reviews (often required every two years once diagnosed) exist to check how the medication is actually affecting you, not to "catch" anyone — but the cost of the appointment itself can make ongoing access to medication prohibitively expensive for some people.A decluttering method doesn't have to be perfect to work: putting everything that doesn't belong in a space into one tub, then sorting it later, gets a room visibly tidy fast — even if the sorting still has to happen eventually.Different clutter needs different systems. A category-based sort (like Marie Kondo's method) can work ...
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    55 分
  • Episode 21 - New Season, New Us

    Episode 21 - New Season, New Us
    2026/09/02
    This week's episode starts, as most weeks do, with a confession: Alisha has spent all day on "productive procrastination" instead of launching her new membership beta, and Rhiannon decided the most urgent task in her life was mounting a wood pelmet above her window without drilling into concrete. From there, the hosts get into the real theme of the episode: as spring rolls around, can they finally become the kind of people who finish projects instead of just starting them? Enter the index card planning system — a low-tech, endlessly forgiving ADHD organisation method they've both been eyeing on TikTok, complete with daily cards, dividers for "someday," "waiting on" and quarterly tasks, and zero pressure to get it perfect (it's a note card, not a $40 notebook you've ruined on page one). They also run through the seasonal cleaning jobs nobody tells you about — air-con filters, dryer vents, vacuum filters, mattress deep-cleans — while being brutally honest about the stuff that's been sitting untouched for months: the seven doom boxes, the empty photo frames, the baby book that's still only half-filled in. It's a funny, chaotic, very relatable episode about trying to build systems that actually work for brains that don't do "set and forget." What We Talk About in This Episode Alisha's "productive procrastination" while avoiding launching her new membership beta offerThe wall of doom: Rhiannonn's DIY pelmet project, a staple gun mishap, and a hole in the wall she still hasn't fixedAlisha's $1,000+ Ikea bookcase build-out gone sideways, and missing her dad's DIY skillsNew season, new us? Deciding to commit to finishing projects rather than trying to become different peoplePitching public accountability and a decluttering community for springAlisha's seven doom boxes, working late into the night for work calls, and wanting a real sleep routineBuilding an actual wind-down routine instead of just intending to have oneWhy a flexible routine works better than a rigid schedule for ADHD brainsIntroducing the index card ("Sparkle Box") planning system: daily cards, dividers, colour-coding, and why simple beats perfectHow the cards physically move through the week — pull them out, do the task, move it to next week if you don'tSeasonal cleaning tasks neither of them knew they had to do: air-con filters, dishwasher and washing machine maintenance, dryer vent cleaning, vacuum filter washingCarpet vs floorboards when you live with anxious pets (and a French bulldog leaving slobber marks on the walls)Quick wins for spring: the five-minute bathroom declutter, cleaning mirrors, wiping down skirting boardsMattress deep-cleans, flipping mattresses, and knowing when to just buy a new oneThe dreaded photo-sorting task, empty photo frames, and a still-unfinished baby bookMonthly wardrobe resets and prepping outfits for the week ahead"Autistic brains love routine, ADHD brains hate it" — and why the system needs to survive being ignored for a weekDigital filing chaos, letting go of old files, and new-phone anxietyNaming the system "The Sparkle Box" and inviting listeners to join in for spring Key Takeaways A system only works for ADHD brains if falling off it for a week doesn't ruin it — index cards can be picked back up anytime, unlike a notebook where one skipped page feels like the whole thing is "ruined.""Out of sight, out of mind" is a real barrier, not a character flaw — having a tangible, visible reminder (a card, not just a digital list) can be the difference between remembering a task and forgetting it existed.Committing to finish what you start is a more realistic goal than trying to stop starting new projects altogether — the impulse to dive in isn't the problem, the follow-through is.Seasonal maintenance tasks (air-con filters, dryer vents, vacuum filters) are rarely taught to anyone — not doing them isn't a personal failing, it's a knowledge gap.Public or shared accountability — a friend, a community, even an Instagram audience — can be the missing piece that turns "I should really do that" into "I actually did that." A Quick Explainer: What Is the Index Card ("Sparkle Box") Planning System? It's a low-tech ADHD planning method built around a simple box of index cards instead of a notebook or app. Each card holds one task or routine — a day of the week, a recurring chore, a "someday" idea — sorted behind dividers (daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, waiting-on, someday). As you complete a task, you move its card to the back or file it under the next relevant day; if you don't get to it, it just waits until you're ready. Because nothing is permanent or handwritten into a bound page, there's no "ruined" system to abandon — you can drop it for a week and pick it back up without starting over, which is what makes it worth trying for brains that struggle with rigid digital planners and all-or-nothing habit trackers. Who This Episode Is For Anyone with a pile of half-finished home projects, a "...
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    47 分
  • Ep20: I'm trying to minimise my shit

    Ep20: I'm trying to minimise my shit
    2026/08/26
    Some weeks are just a lot. This episode starts with two very different-looking problems — one daughter who's suddenly refusing school, one daughter who's suddenly refusing food — and ends up in the same place both of them usually end up: is this a phase, is this the environment, or is this actually her brain? Alisha unpacks her daughter's abrupt swing from loving school to dreading it, working through whether it's a friendship issue, a masking-fatigue issue, or something closer to PDA, and the very relatable spiral of trying to have a calm "how was your day" conversation with a six-year-old who has nothing left in the tank to give. Rhiannon shares the equally unsettling shift in her daughter Bunny — sudden pickiness, attitude, and an OT-recommended blood test to rule out a nutrient deficiency before anyone reaches for the word "PDA." From there the conversation goes somewhere the hosts admit they've avoided for a while: should they actually get their daughters formally assessed and, if needed, medicated for ADHD? They talk through the double standard that lets "naughty little boys" get diagnosed and medicated early while girls get overlooked or told they're "just sensitive," the school-accommodation paperwork that requires a formal diagnosis to unlock, and a doctor's blunt warning about hormones, puberty and RSD that's stuck with them both. It's not all heavy — the episode also swings into the hosts' own adult executive dysfunction (Rhiannon's years-stalled recertification exam, leaning on ChatGPT for step-by-step instructions like a human doesn't already know how to make a to-do list), a very candid update on Rhiannon's doom-box wardrobe project, and a warm reminder that finding your people — your fellow "neuro sparkly weirdos" — makes the whole thing easier to carry. What We Talk About in This Episode Alisha's daughter's sudden shift from loving school to dreading it, and untangling whether it's friendship dynamics, masking exhaustion, or something more like PDAA basketball-to-the-head incident and the challenge of working out what's actually upsetting a six-year-old versus what's just the most recent thingWhy "how was your day" often gets nothing back, and using write-it-down/indirect strategies to get a real answer laterBunny's sudden picky eating and attitude change, and the OT's recommendation to rule out a nutrient deficiency with a blood test before considering PDAOffering choices instead of demands, and recognising a PDA-flavoured "no thank you" for what it isThe big conversation: should we get our daughters formally assessed, and would we medicate them?The double standard around ADHD medication — why "disruptive" boys get diagnosed and medicated early while girls fly under the radarWhy school accommodations often require a formal diagnosis on paper, not just a parent's observationA doctor's warning about puberty, hormones and RSD, and why that's shifted the hosts' thinking on timingPerfectionism, generational guilt, and parenting differently to how they were raisedA school system built for the "average" kid, and what that means for kids who are struggling or excellingExecutive dysfunction in adulthood: "I know the answer, I just can't start," and leaning on ChatGPT for step-by-step task breakdownsWhy systems and scaffolding don't always stick, and choosing self-compassion over self-blame when they fall offMedication as something that doesn't change who you are — it just makes the doing part possibleThe doom-box wardrobe project: sorting, under-bed chaos, and the idea of public accountability via InstagramBody doubling, Alexa AM/PM checklists, and other accountability tools that actually workFinding your people — hyperfocusing on Lego with a fellow "neuro sparkly weirdo" — and why community matters Key Takeaways A sudden, sharp behaviour change in a child — whether it's school avoidance or food refusal — is worth investigating from multiple angles at once: physical (nutrient deficiencies, blood tests), social (friendship dynamics), and neurological (PDA, anxiety, masking fatigue), rather than assuming it's "just a phase."ADHD in girls is still routinely overlooked because the diagnostic picture was built around "disruptive" boys — quieter struggles like people-pleasing, sudden meltdowns after school, or picky eating don't fit the stereotype, so they get missed or dismissed.Formal diagnosis isn't just a label — for many families it's the only way to unlock real school accommodations, which is worth knowing before deciding to "wait and see."Executive dysfunction doesn't disappear when you become an adult — "I know what to do, I just can't start it" is a genuine, common experience, and outsourcing the step-by-step (to a person, an app, or even ChatGPT) is a legitimate strategy, not a personal failing.Medication doesn't change who your child is — it can simply make it possible for them to do the things they already want to do. Who This Episode Is For Parents ...
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    56 分
  • Ep 19: The things Katherine Richardson could tell you

    Ep 19: The things Katherine Richardson could tell you
    2026/08/20
    This week's guest gets it from every angle: Katherine "Kat" Richardson is a late-diagnosed ADHDer, a mum navigating her own son's likely neurodivergence, and the author-illustrator behind The Things Enid Can Tell You — a children's book about a sparkly-brained girl that never once uses the word "ADHD." Kat and the hosts trade late-diagnosis stories that will sound painfully familiar: the report cards that said "talks too much" and "needs to apply herself," the university degrees started and abandoned on a whim, the diagnosis that arrived not as grief but as relief mixed with a strange kind of double-edged clarity — finally knowing why, and also knowing this is permanently who you are. Kat talks candidly about writing her book before she'd even fully unpacked her own masking, about the ADHD-house reality of forgotten showers and rotten apples left in odd corners, and about her very deliberate choice not to label Enid's brain at all — because a children's book that announces "this character has ADHD" lands differently to a kid than one that just lets a sparkly character be herself. It's a warm, funny, occasionally chaotic conversation about writing honestly, parenting differently to how you were parented, and giving kids language for their brains that we never had for our own. What We Talk About in This Episode Kat's late ADHD diagnosis story: report card comments, undiagnosed years, and finally asking the question out loud in her late 20sThe "double-edged sword" of diagnosis: relief at finally having an answer, alongside the realisation that no amount of trying will make you differentUniversity chaos: switching degrees between Antarctic science, guide dog training and a communications degree finished via distance education at double speedWhy "always early" can be the same anxiety as being lateParenting a sensory-driven, possibly-neurodivergent toddler son, and catching herself repeating the same "can you just sit still" messaging she's trying to breakReparenting: working out what actually damaged you growing up versus what was just imperfect but harmlessWriting her first book, Diary of a Red Handfish, about a real endangered Tasmanian species and a real conservation projectPublishing under two names — Kat for her business, Katherine Richardson for her books — and why that split existsThe deliberate choice not to name ADHD or autism anywhere in The Things Enid Can Tell You, so kids can recognise themselves without a clinical label attachedAvoiding stereotypes: writing a messy, imperfect, lovable character without reducing her to "the ADHD kid who's always late and disorganised"The exhausting mental load of basic self-care tasks (showers, teeth-brushing) and the tricks she uses to get herself to do them anywayWhere to find Kat's books and her illustration/editing studio Key Takeaways Late diagnosis often isn't followed by grief so much as a strange, double-edged relief: "this explains everything" and "this is permanently who I am" arriving at the same time.Being chronically early can be driven by the same anxiety as being chronically late — it's still time-related distress, just pointed the other direction.The most authentic representation in children's books often comes from writing your own story first, rather than deliberately setting out to "write a diverse character."Reparenting isn't about getting everything right — it's about identifying what actually caused harm growing up and interrupting that specific pattern, not chasing an impossible standard of perfect parenting.Basic daily tasks (showering, brushing teeth) can carry a genuinely higher mental load for ADHD/autistic brains, and finding a "trick" that works is a legitimate strategy, not a failure to just "do the normal thing." Who This Episode Is For Anyone who got diagnosed later in life and is still working out what to do with that knowledge. Parents looking for children's books that let a neurodivergent-coded character just be a full, funny, flawed person rather than a walking symptom list. And anyone who has ever quietly wondered whether they should have finished that degree they abandoned in week three. A Message From This Episode You don't need permission to tell your own story, and you don't need a diagnosis to hand to prove it's real. The most authentic writing — and the most authentic parenting — usually comes from working out what actually hurt you, not from getting everything technically right. About This Episode's Guest Katherine "Kat" Richardson is an author, illustrator and late-diagnosed ADHDer. She is the author-illustrator of The Things Enid Can Tell You, a children's picture book about a sparkly-brained girl, and Diary of a Red Handfish, a self-published children's book about one of Tasmania's most endangered fish species. She also runs an illustration, editing and book design studio supporting other authors, with a particular focus on making the process accessible for neurodivergent clients. Both books are ...
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