We're wrapping up the Dolly 64 opening round this week with songs that work better in theory than in practice, the difference between "not for me" and "not good," countrymaxxing without slagging "coastal elites," and Vrbo text art in song form. Is it weird that this is the section in which a Dolly Parton song finally bats a thousand points-wise? Maybe...but not really. Whatever you came in here looking like, listen now!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Christine Ebersole sings "Single Women" on SNL
• The Dolly 64 E03: Round Of 64
• Beats Around The Bush, Episode 04: May The JVC Force Be With You
• Episode 91: 2018 Oscars Best Song Nominees, Ranked (With Joe Reid!)

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The Dolly 64 season has reached perhaps the strongest bracket section in our third ep, with the joyful chaos of mis-alphabetizing, growers and showers in the holler, songs about things men don't want to hear, and multiple hauntings by Little Andy and the narrator of "The Bridge." Find out which Dolly Parton track got ranked "Richard Bachman," how to take control of a cover, and much more in our latest episode!

Intro and outro by Andrew Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Extra Hot Great 316
• The Dolly 64 E01: Round Of 64
• "Encores! Shows Why Big River Isn't Coming Back Anytime Soon"
• The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 1: Resurrection Mary
• "Miriam"
• Episode 195: Dolly Parton's Underrated Hits

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The Dolly 64 season continues with our second set of first-round contenders, including overplayed classics, underrated '80s gems, toothless platitudes, tempo no-man's lands, brand ambassadors to the Lord, and things Dolly Parton does well that might not make the first paragraph of her musicianship wiki. Here WE come again, and we hope you'll have a listen!

Intro and outro by David Gregory Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• The Crime Seen podcast
• "How Willie Nelson Sees America"
• Episode 195: Dolly Parton's Underrated Hits
• Record Of The Year Showdown, Episode 2: 1975-1990
• Record Of The Year Showdown, Episode 3: 1991-2006

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Welcome to our Dolly 64 season -- in which we use a highly scientific*, legally binding* March Madness-style bracket to determine the most quintessential Dolly Parton track of all time! In our first episode, we make Final Four predictions, scheme in the style of Tammany Hall, wonder why Mark's parents aren't president, distinguish between country and kuntree, and honor the "old coot at the edge of town" Partonian subgenre. Daddy, come and get an all-new episode of MASTAS!

*...no

Intro and outro by Andrew Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Dolly the sheep
• March MASTAS: Britpop Edition
• The "5 to 9" Squarespace ad
• The "Sad Ass Songs" episode of Dolly Parton's America
• Episode 62: "Ode To Billie Joe" And "Harper Valley PTA"
• Episode 133: Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers, "Islands In The Stream"
• Just a couple of what Wikipedia diplomatically calls Chuck Berry's "controversies"

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It's Part 2 of our ranking of Madonna's studio albums! When did Madonna stop dictating the culture and start chasing it? When should listeners write to their Congressional reps over our heatmaps, and when are heatmap "yellows" actually "reds" but they're too boring to skip? We're not sure we can answer these questions...but we're pretty sure we know when it's time for the endeavor of rapping to cease. Get psyched or eff off: it's an all-new MASTAS episode.

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• • Madonna's Studio Album's Ranked, Episode 01
  • Madonna A to Z
  • The rumored 2026 Madonna project
  • Episode 107: Bond-Movie Songs, Ranked
  • Episode 3: Madonna, "Get Together"
  • Episode 211: Madonna, "Everybody" and "Medellín"

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Welcome to Part 1 of our ranking of all 15 of Madonna's studio albums! The Material Girl's woeful underrepresentation on our podcast continues, as we start with the eponymous Madonna and continue through Bedtime Stories. Along the way, we explain the ranking and heatmapping processes we used, and discuss MTV imprinting, the "dust bunnies" of otherwise-solid albums, how The Immaculate Collection shifted our perceptions of Madonna's '80s output, and that time the Good Lord Himself gave Mark permission to buy a record at WalMart. Limber up those skip-button fingers and join us!

Intro and outro by David Gregory Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Madonna A to Z
• MB's review of The Man Nobody Killed at Best Evidence
• Episode 36: Madonna's Immaculate Collection, Ranked
• Lost Madonna Hits

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Dan Rogge is back (-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack) to help us discuss and rank William's 1979 breakthrough release, "The Stranger" -- complete with derogatory Lost In Translation references, mediocre parental reviews of jukebox musicals, coherent statements on alienation, Mrs. Dash sponcon, the sound of the Fortunoff elevator, and why Mark needed a looseleaf notebook at the gym. Grab some stale boardwalk popcorn, Virginia, because it's on!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Billy Joel's "Glass Houses," Ranked (with Dan Rogge!)
• Record Of The Year Showdown, Episode 2: 1975-1990
• America's Damp 40, Episode 05: 25 For Fighting
• Extra Hot Great 571: Bringing Honesty To Billy Joel: And So It Goes
• "Every Billy Joel Song, Ranked" at Vulture
• The Middle Aged Dad Band covers "Vienna"
• Weird Al vs. Everybody Episode 1: "Amish Paradise"
• Episode 109: Def Leppard, "Pour Some Sugar On Me"
• "Only The Good Die Young (Alternate Version)"
• Nathan Rabin explains the failure/fiasco spectrum

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Don't ask us why* we decided to hurl a rock at William Joel's 1980 release, "Glass Houses" -- but we're ranking that album with the help of Ambassador To Long Island Pop Culture Dan Rogge. Along the way, we met a shark named Leyna, contemplated essential Billy-ness and Blondie cosplay, added to the list of songs Mark can't retain, and went behind the scenes of an ill-advised French mash note. Grab a "Monsieur Massapequa" tee and get your karaoke picks in; it's time for another MASTAS ranker!

*it was not the terrible news about the tour cancellation; we'd recorded well before that -- and we hope he's better soon!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

• Episode 111: Bruce Willis And Don Johnson (with special guests Dan and Tracie!)
• MASTAS Presents: Money Can't Buy You Podcast 01, "Money Can't Buy You Class"
• America's Damp 40, Episode 00: An Introduction
• Episode 51: Billy Joel, "Sleeping With The Television On"
• Billy Joel live in Uniondale

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