How do you know what to believe anymore? In this episode of Intentional Living, Mari breaks down why dramatic, false information spreads faster and farther than accurate information online — and it's not your imagination, it's documented research.

Drawing on a landmark MIT study published in Science analyzing over 4.5 million tweets, current data from Pew Research and the Knight Foundation on how much misinformation people encounter and even knowingly share, Stanford researcher Sam Wineburg's research on "lateral reading" (the specific habit that separates professional fact-checkers from everyone else), and Cambridge psychologist Sander van der Linden's research proving misinformation resistance is a trainable skill, Mari makes the case that overwhelm, reflexive cynicism, and confusion about AI-generated content are really the same missing skill wearing three different outfits.

Walk away with three tools: how to verify a claim in under two minutes, how to check whether a claimed credential (or even a claimed human) is real, and how to use your own emotional reaction as an early warning system before you share.

• Vosoughi, S., Roy, D., & Aral, S. (2018). The spread of true and false news online. Science.
• Wineburg, S., & McGrew, S. (2019). Lateral reading and the nature of expertise. Teachers College Record.
• van der Linden, S., et al. (2017). Inoculating against misinformation. Science.
• Pew Research Center (2023) and Knight Foundation (2022) misinformation survey data.

Relevant Prior Episodes

• Episode 11 — social media and comparison research, a different angle on the same general subject

Is your age stopping you — or is it just an old, unwritten rule you never bothered to question? In this episode of Intentional Living, Mari breaks down the internalized "social clock" that quietly decides, without anyone saying a word, what's appropriate to wear, try, or attempt at a given age. Drawing on Yale psychologist Becca Levy's landmark research showing people with positive self-perceptions of aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than those with negative ones, sociologist Bernice Neugarten's foundational concept of the social clock, and real, documented examples of women who achieved major things later in life — including a marathon runner who set a Guinness World Record at 86, and an author who published her first book at 65 — Mari makes the case that most of the rules about age-appropriate behavior were never actually real rules at all. Walk away with three tools for tracing the actual source of an "I'm too old for that" thought, building your own evidence file of counter-examples, and testing the rule with a small, reversible action instead of accepting it at face value.

• Levy, B. R., et al. (2002). Longevity increased by positive self-perceptions of aging. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Neugarten, B. L., et al. (1965). Age norms, age constraints, and adult socialization. American Journal of Sociology.
• Guinness World Records — Gladys Burrill, oldest female marathon finisher.

Relevant Prior Episodes

• Episode 11 — "whose standard is this" — the social clock is the same mechanism
• Episode 13 — "stop waiting for the right time" — "I'm too old" as a specific flavor of that trap

Is your perfectionism stopping you? Not slowing you down a little — actually stopping you, from launching the business, sending the email, starting the hobby, finishing the book. In this episode of Really, Universe?, Mari breaks down why perfectionism rarely announces itself as a problem — it shows up dressed as high standards and dedication, while quietly running the show like an unpaid, judgmental intern. Drawing on Hewitt and Flett's foundational research distinguishing self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed perfectionism, recent research linking procrastination specifically to the socially prescribed type, and the distinction between adaptive perfectionistic strivings and fear-driven perfectionistic concerns, Mari makes the case that high standards were never the actual problem. Fear wearing a standard's clothing is. Walk away with three tools: how to name the specific audience you're actually performing for, how to build a "minimum viable version" of anything (borrowed straight from

Almost everyone believes they're self-aware. Research suggests almost nobody actually is — and that gap is what quietly derails people, not lack of talent or bad luck. In this episode of Really, Universe?, Mari shares two real stories: transforming from a shy, lisping kid into someone repeatedly told she reads as intimidating — and the specific, deliberate compensations she built once she saw the cost, without shrinking herself in the process; and a pattern she only recently recognized — great ideas and real tenacity, as long as she can see evidence of progress, and how she's building a structural workaround for it in real time, including the actual 52-episode commitment behind this very podcast. Drawing on Tasha Eurich's landmark research on the self-awareness gap, the rumination-versus-reflection research behind the Self-Reflection and Insight Scale, research on 360-degree feedback reliability, and Peter Gollwitzer's research on implementation intentions, Mari draws a hard line between self-awareness and self-criticism — and gives you three tools: how to ask the people closest to you (not just coworkers) for honest feedback, how to build a real self-rating on the qualities that actually matter to you and validate it against how others actually see you, and how to turn what you learn into an actual if-then plan instead of a vague intention.

• Eurich, T. (2017). Insight. Crown Business.
• Grant, A. M., Franklin, J., & Langford, P. (2002). The Self-Reflection and Insight Scale. Social Behavior and Personality.
• Gollwitzer, P. M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology.
• Amundsen, S., & Martinsen, Ø. L. (2014). Self-other agreement in leadership.

Relevant Prior Episodes

• Episode 2, 9, 12 — brief reference to the dream home/finishing school story

Episode 3 — the lisp, shyness, and constant moving referenced in the opening story

• Episode 7 — self-criticism/inner critic research this episode builds on

"The right time" is often just code for "I don't feel ready" — and there's real evidence you may never feel ready at all.

In this episode of Really, Universe?, Mari breaks down why waiting for the right moment is usually fear dressed up as patience. Drawing on economist Steven Levitt's 20,000-person coin-flip study on major life decisions, Albert Bandura's foundational research on self-efficacy and mastery experiences, John Kotter's research on organizational change and "false urgency," and a callback to Episode 9's regret research, Mari makes the case that confidence follows action, not the other way around. This episode speaks directly to two different versions of the trap — waiting for a milestone you're free to skip, and waiting for a stability that won't arrive without you building it yourself. Walk away with three tools for acting before you feel ready, auditing your own busyness for false urgency, and asking the one question that usually reveals the honest answer.

• Levitt, S. D. (2021). Heads or tails. The Review of Economic Studies.
• Bandura, A. (1997). Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control. W.H. Freeman.
• Kotter, J. P. (1995, 1996/2012). Leading Change. Harvard Business Review / HBR Press.
• Gilovich, T., & Medvec, V. H. (1994). The temporal pattern to the experience of regret. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Relevant Prior Episodes

• Episode 9 — How to Make Hard Decisions (regret research callback)
• Episode 12 — When to Quit (and When to Push Through) (false urgency / "building my pipeline" callback)

SOCIALS

Youtube:

www.youtube.com/@maripeck

Website

https://www.reallyuniverse.com/

How do you actually know the difference between giving up too soon and refusing to admit something isn't working?

In this episode of Really, Universe?, Mari tells the full story behind her phone book years — a string of reactive decisions after her divorce, a failed coffee shop, a startup job with payroll problems, and three years spent refusing to apply for anything below her previous professional level while running a solopreneur consulting business that looked like it was working just often enough to keep her hoping. It took hitting a genuine financial and physical rock bottom, and one sentence from her teenage son, to finally break the standoff.

Drawing on Seth Godin's Dip-versus-Dead-End framework, B.F. Skinner's research on intermittent reinforcement, Angela Duckworth's work on the hierarchy of goals, peer-reviewed research on goal disengagement, and Gianpiero Petriglieri's work on identity threat, Mari breaks down how to tell persistence from stubbornness before it costs you years instead of months. Walk away with three tools for telling a Dip from a Dead End, weighing a decision honestly, and quitting a path without quitting your actual goal.

REFERENCES

• Godin, S. (2007). The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick). Portfolio.
• Ferster, C. B., & Skinner, B. F. (1957). Schedules of Reinforcement. Appleton-Century-Crofts. (Variable ratio reinforcement research.)
• Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Scribner. (Light reference here — a full episode on Duckworth's research is planned for later in the series.)
• Wrosch, C., Scheier, M. F., Miller, G. E., Schulz, R., & Carver, C. S. (2003). Adaptive self-regulation of unattainable goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29(12), 1494-1508.
• Petriglieri, G. (2011). Under threat: Responses to and the consequences of threats to individuals' identities. Academy of Management Review, 36(4), 641-662.
• (2021). An exploration of obstacles to identity play during unemployment. Career Development International, 26(5).
• Arkes, H. R., & Blumer, C. (1985). The psychology of sunk cost. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 35(1), 124-140. (Brief namecheck only — not the episode's primary frame.)

SOCIALS

Youtube:

www.youtube.com/@maripeck

Website

https://www.reallyuniverse.com/

Stop comparing yourself to others — because it's not their life, it's yours.

In this episode of Really, Universe?, Mari breaks down comparison as a single underlying mechanism that shows up everywhere: FOMO (wanting someone's outcome without their inputs), beauty standards for both men and women, feeling behind in life, and believing you need a specific number in the bank before you're allowed to relax.

Drawing on Shawn Achor's research on gratitude and FOMO, the real neuroscience behind cortical thinning and compulsive behavior, a 2024 meta-analysis on social media and happiness, NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang's own description of his relentless daily life, and Olympic rugby player Ilona Maher's public rejection of the traditional beauty standard, Mari makes the case that every comparison is really the same question: whose standard is this, and did I ever actually agree to it? Walk away with two tools — naming the source of the standard, and a hard, honest look at limiting social media usage versus retraining your algorithm — plus a preview of two future episodes (Enoughness and Ageism) that will dig even deeper into the timeline and money versions of this trap.

• Achor, S. The Power of Beliefs. (FOMO/gratitude framing, cortical thinning and FOMO research citations as compiled in the book.)
• Diener, E., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Very Happy People. Psychological Science, 13(1), 81-84.
• Huang, J. Public fireside chat with Patrick Collison (Stripe CEO). Attributed public quote, not a formal citation — noted in-episode as such.
• National Women's History Museum. Ilona Maher biography. womenshistory.org (verified current as of script date).
• Meta-analysis (2024). Does social media use make us happy? A meta-analysis on social media and positive well-being outcomes. ScienceDirect/Computers in Human Behavior.
• De Neve, J-E., et al. World Happiness Report 2026: Happiness and Social Media, executive summary. Wellbeing Research Centre, University of Oxford.
• Study on negative-word headlines and click-through rate (Upworthy headline analysis, 100,000+ variations), published in Nature, as reported by Social Media Today.

SOCIALS

Youtube:

www.youtube.com/@maripeck

Website

https://www.reallyuniverse.com/

What happens when someone asks "what do you do" and you genuinely don't have an answer anymore? In this episode of Really, Universe?, Mari tells the story of walking away from a corporate career at 54, retreating to a small Kansas town, and discovering she couldn't answer the most basic question at a hardware store.

Drawing on Helen Ebaugh's research on role exit, Patricia Linville's self-complexity theory, and Mo Wang and Junqi Shi's review of retirement psychology, Mari unpacks why losing a job title can feel like losing yourself — and why that's a distinctly American cultural reflex, not a personal failing. She also connects this identity work directly back to the decision covered in Episode 9: the reason she could survive a massive career step-down at 59 was the identity work she'd already done five years earlier. Walk away with three tools: a real journaling exercise for building identity beyond your title, how to write a practice answer to "what do you do" that doesn't rely on a paycheck, and why letting people see your unfinished work matters more than waiting until you feel ready.

References

• Ebaugh, H. R. F. (1988). Becoming an Ex: The Process of Role Exit. University of Chicago Press.
• Linville, P. W. (1987). Self-complexity as a cognitive buffer. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Wang, M., & Shi, J. (2014). Psychological research on retirement. Annual Review of Psychology.

Socials

Youtube:

www.youtube.com/@maripeck

Website

https://www.reallyuniverse.com/