Sugar-free Slurpee “incident” at 7-Eleven (no comment 😉), a full-body Hawaiian Tropic slather to set the mood, and an 83-day countdown to Thanksgiving in Paradise (Nov 26 · Blue Note Waikīkī). Chip recaps Portland, ME (Empire Comedy Club + lighthouse love), Thomas hits San Diego for a Duke’s-style Mai Tai… while the ocean is closed for, uh, “fecal contamination.” Then: a viral Mile-High story on a flight to Honolulu (in-seat shenanigans, FBI at the gate) and a double-dose of Guinness: the Alton Giant and the Goliath birdeater spider.

Why hit “Play”?
🧊 Sugar-Free Slurpee Saga — a 7-Eleven dust-up sets the tone (00:00).
🧴 Sunscreen Ritual — instant vacation brain via Hawaiian Tropic (01:50).
🦃 83-Day Countdown — real ticket links only (our site / Blue Note Hawai‘i) and flight plans set (03:02).
🌊 Portland, ME → Salem, MA — Empire Comedy Club, tour-guide reunion, and Portland Head Light dreams (07:32–13:25).
🏃 Waikīkī Lighthouse & Turkey Trot — 5K link skepticism… so come run with us Thanksgiving morning (14:17–15:31).
🍹 Duke’s-Style Mai Tai at Jake’s Del Mar — perfect sunset, imperfect ocean (beach closures for bacteria) (17:12–19:28).
🍸 “Frat-Start Wednesday” — Titanic Tito’s pours, nuclear Jell-O shots, and a Sasquatch Maine-flag hat (22:00–25:25).
✈️ Mile-High? Or… nah — Minneapolis ➜ Honolulu couple, blanket, economy row, FBI meet-and-greet; does it even count? (26:18–37:08).
📘 Good Book Time — Robert Wadlow (8′11.1″), size-37 shoes, Alton Giant icon spread (44:22–53:19).
🕷️ Spider Season — Goliath birdeater up to 11″ leg span; monarch-snaring webs at home (54:15–59:08).
🌴 Buffett “facts” — real-feel 82°, barefoot Twister, and luxury-travel tease (1:00:00–1:01:55).

Hit play for SPF-50 laughs, coastal escapism, and Guinness-grade weirdness you’ll retell at the tiki bar.

🎧 New episodes every week — Subscribe & Get Sunburnt

Chapters
00:00 Sugar-Free Slurpee “Incident” (7-Eleven cold open)
01:50 Basement Hawaiian Tropic Slather → Vacation Brain
02:20 Front Desk bit (Home-Alone supplies request)
03:02 83-Day Countdown → Thanksgiving in Paradise + real ticket links
05:05 First-Time Hawai‘i jitters & family flights booked
07:32 Portland, ME show recap (Empire Comedy Club)
10:14 Salem walking tour → guide recognizes Chip from pre-pandemic gig
11:54 Lighthouse run: Portland Head Light awe + lighthouse-keeper fantasy
14:17 Waikīkī lighthouse & Turkey Trot sign-up doubts → “just run with us”
17:12 San Diego weekend → Jake’s Del Mar & Duke’s Mai Tai
18:41 Beach closures (bacteria) + sunset vibes anyway
20:45 Portland bar crawl → “Roma Paloma” at CBGB’s
22:00 Frat-Start Wednesday: heavy Tito’s + lethal Jell-O shots
24:59 Drunk-shopping win: Maine 1901 flag Sasquatch hat
26:18 Mile-High story kicks off (Minneapolis ➜ Honolulu)
29:08 In-seat blanket “shenanigans” vs. what really counts as Mile-High
34:14 FBI greets plane; Delta one-liners ensue
37:08 Open the Good Book
44:22 Robert Wadlow (Alton Giant) deep-dive
53:19 Applause for Bob; segue to…
54:15 Goliath birdeater spider & neighborhood web war
1:00:00 Buffett Facts (real-feel 82°, barefoot Twister)
1:01:35 Tease: a new form of luxury travel next episode
1:01:56 Front Desk tag & outro

#travelcomedy #sunburntpodcast #hawaii #waikiki #hawaiianshirt