What happens when the life you've worked so hard to build becomes the very thing you need to step away from?

At what appeared from the outside to be the pinnacle of her career, Mary Polanco was experiencing profound burnout, anxiety, depression, and cognitive struggles. After decades of achievement, structure, and following the path laid out before her, Mary made a choice that would change the trajectory of her life: she stepped off what she calls the “conveyor belt of expectation” and made her own well-being the priority.

After retiring from the U.S. Air Force in 2022, Mary chose not to follow the traditional path into another full-time career. Instead, she leaned into two areas that had become increasingly important to her: creativity and wellness. Today, she is the founder of Live and Lead Well, a leadership development company, while also running a crafting business where she teaches monthly live virtual classes. She is currently completing a four-year doctoral program, with research focused on leadership psychology and neuroscience.

In this episode of Live Beautifully, Mary and Lacey explore what happens when we stop measuring our lives by productivity, titles, income, and other people's definitions of success—and begin asking what actually matters to us.

Mary shares how her study of neuroscience helped her better understand her own experience with prolonged stress and begin replacing some of the guilt and shame she carried with self-compassion. She also discovered parts of herself that had been dulled beneath years of striving: creativity, curiosity, connection, and the simple experience of being fully present.

One of the most powerful realizations came through her children. After months of prioritizing her wellness, Mary sat peacefully watching them ride their bikes when her young daughter stopped and asked if she was dying. When Mary asked why, her daughter answered:

“You're just so at peace.”

Years later, that same daughter now expects her mother's presence—a beautiful reminder that changing the way we live can also change what the people we love learn to expect from us.

Now, as Mary approaches the end of her doctoral program, she finds herself standing at the edge of another transition. But this time, uncertainty feels different. Rather than rushing to fill the space with another title or predetermined path, she's intentionally giving herself time to listen, reflect, and ask what work truly inspires her.

Together, Mary and Lacey talk about defining what “enough” means for ourselves, choosing inspired work, identifying the values that actually belong to us, becoming curious about the beliefs running through our minds, and recognizing that success doesn't have to cost us our peace.

And Mary leaves us with a beautiful challenge:

“Why not be the first soft place to fall rather than the first battleground?”

Preparing to transition? Check out Mary's book: Your Final Debrief: Break Free from the Military Mindset and Design the Post-Service Life You Want https://amzn.to/4iEZwyg

https://www.liveandleadwell.org

https://www.youtube.com/@UCLWk06I4om9uoezE1WgarvQ

https://www.youtube.com/@marypolancodesigns

marypolancodesigns.com

What if success isn't about earning more—but having more of your life to actually live?

After 23 years in the U.S. Air Force, Martin Foster reached a crossroads. The conventional next step was clear: transition into a government or contracting career, continue building financial security, and follow the path many military retirees take.

Instead, Martin chose himself.

In this episode of Live Beautifully, Martin joins Lacey for a deeply personal conversation about stepping away from the expected path and going all-in on the work that makes him feel most alive: podcasting.

Martin shares how losing his father at just 11 years old continues to shape the way he thinks about time, why retiring at 44 changed his definition of wealth, and how he traded some financial comfort for something he values even more—being “time rich and purpose rich.”

Together, Lacey and Martin explore the invisible progress that comes with betting on yourself, learning to set boundaries after a lifetime of service, choosing presence with family, and letting go of the need to explain a life other people may not understand.

The conversation also brings their story full circle. Years ago, Martin invited Lacey onto his podcast and asked her to choose one word to describe her life. Her answer—fluid—stayed with her long after their conversation ended. Now, sitting on the other side of the microphone, Lacey returns the question.

Martin's word?

Outlier.

Because sometimes living beautifully means leaving the mapped road behind—not because you know exactly where it leads, but because you've finally learned to trust where you want to go.

Check out Martin's Podcast, Passing the Torch, https://www.youtube.com/@torchmartinhttps://open.spotify.com/show/47ZwWTJWETz5SwEfcuPQwF?si=3973ba39efba4960https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-passing-the-torch-with-mar-93389497

What happens when the life that once gave you purpose, structure, and identity ends...and you’re left to figure out who you are without it?

In this episode of Live Beautifully, I reconnect with Suzanne Roe, a former Air Force leader and mentor whose influence changed the trajectory of my own life nearly twenty years ago. Suzanne shares a side of herself I never knew: from being a rebellious teenager who joined the military determined to see the world and earn an education, to surviving the Khobar Towers bombing, building a successful military career, and eventually confronting experiences she had spent years simply pushing aside.

We talk about the complicated transition from a highly accomplished military career into motherhood and civilian life, the loss of structure and identity that can come with starting over, and the realization that being high-functioning doesn’t necessarily mean everything beneath the surface has been resolved. Suzanne reflects on learning to separate who she is from what she accomplished, and finding meaning beyond the titles, awards, and rank that once defined success.

Now studying homeopathy, Suzanne is once again following her curiosity toward work centered on helping others; this time through an individualized approach to wellness and healing. Her future isn’t perfectly mapped out, and perhaps that’s part of the lesson: reinvention doesn’t always require knowing exactly where you’re going. Sometimes it means following the next meaningful step and trusting that the pieces will eventually come together.

And in a beautiful full-circle moment, we reflect on something Suzanne taught me long before either of us realized its impact: sometimes someone sees a possibility in you before you’re ready to see it yourself. A seed planted today may take years to become the life you were meant to grow into.

Suzanne leaves us with a reminder worth carrying:

“You can do anything and it may not be exactly how you think it's going to turn out, but you can totally do it. And don't let anybody tell you, you can't.”