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Content note: This episode discusses a mass shooting and gun violence. Please listen with care.

Losing a child is the loss no one is ever ready for, and losing her to a mass shooting in the safest city in America is something most people can’t even picture. In this episode, I sit down with bereaved father Arik Housley, who lost his 18-year-old daughter Alaina in the 2018 Borderline Bar and Grill shooting in Thousand Oaks, California.

In this episode, we talk about:
✨ Arik’s story of losing his daughter Alaina
✨ Why Arik encourages people not to go down the dark road of “why” after a sudden, violent loss
✨ The surreal first days after loss
✨ Why Arik believes our surviving children are more resilient than we give them credit for
✨ How a years-long legal battle over privacy complicates the grieving process
✨ How each person in the same family can grieve the same loss in completely different ways
✨ How grief humor has kept Arik, his wife, and their son connected
✨ How to give people grace when they say the wrong thing about your loss
✨ What to say to someone who is grieving
✨ How forgiveness can be a way to stop carrying the weight of what happened
✨ The story behind Arik’s memoir, Always November
✨ How Alaina’s Voice Foundation provides free mental health services to victims of violence
✨ Finding comfort in signs and symbols

If you’ve lost a child, if you’re supporting someone who has, or if you’re simply tired of grief advice that doesn’t sound like real life, I hope this conversation makes you feel a little less alone.

Connect with Arik at https://arikhousley.com/

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In this episode, I sit down with psychic medium and medical intuitive Julie Ryan, a businesswoman and inventor of surgical devices who learned mediumship and now teaches it.

Julie breaks down how she believes every one of us is already intuitive and how to start connecting with your loved ones in spirit. She also explains how soul contracts and free will can both be true, and what she sees when someone is transitioning, including who shows up first.

We talk about:
✨ How to communicate with deceased loved ones using Julie's "attention, intention" method, and why she believes you don't need a medium to start
✨ What a past life scan is and how Julie uses it to understand what's happening in your life right now
✨ What Julie says to skeptics who think talking to spirit is nuts!
✨ Soul contracts vs. free will
✨ Why Julie believes everyone in our lives is a soulmate, and why she says spirit sees every experience as neutral
✨ The 12 phases of transition from her book Angelic Attendants
✨ Who Julie says shows up first when we die, and why it's always the maternal line
✨ How pets and animals show up at the end of life
✨ Why Julie says you may be "tuned to the wrong channel" when you're grieving, and how to ask for signs
✨ How to invite your loved ones into your dreams
✨ How Julie's view of death changed after watching her own mom transition

If you make it all the way to the end, I truly believe you found this episode for a reason, and maybe your loved ones led you here today. 🫶🏼

Connect with Julie:

• Website: https://askjulieryan.com/
• Social media: @AskJulieRyan
• Free copy of Angelic Attendants: https://askjulieryan.com/request-ebook/

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🔗 Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
💌 Letters of Light: https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters
✍🏼 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/
📖 Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
🎙️ Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational purposes. No other use, including—without limitation—reproduction, retransmission or editing of this Podcast may be made without the prior written permission of Tara Accardo, which may be requeste...

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Have you ever looked around at the people who are supposed to be grieving right alongside you and felt like you're on a completely different planet? Maybe they seem "fine" while you're barely holding it together. Or, maybe you're moving through it while they still seem stuck, and you feel guilty for that, too.

In this episode, I'm talking about the isolating experience of grieving differently than your partner, siblings, parents, or friends, even when you're grieving the same loss. This can happen with the death of a loved one, a divorce, estrangement, infertility, the loss of a friendship or career, or any kind of loss under the sun.

In this episode, I cover:
✨ Why grieving "out of sync" with the people around you doesn't mean something is wrong with you
✨ The real reasons we all grieve differently
✨ What this disconnect does to us emotionally
✨ Three things you can do to feel less alone
✨ How my own experience grieving my parents' deaths differently than my husband's
✨ A gentle permission slip for navigating the holidays when grief styles collide around the table

If you've ever wondered why you're grieving "too fast" or "too slow" compared to someone else, or felt like you have to hide parts of your grief to keep the peace, this episode is for you. And if it speaks to you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who might be grieving a little differently than you, and could use the reminder that there's no wrong way to do this.

Episode mentioned: Understanding Grieving Styles (ep. 218) | https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/218-what-kind-of-griever-are-you-understanding-your/id1688812587?i=1000768376703

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