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Content note: This episode discusses a mass shooting and gun violence. Please listen with care.

Losing a child is the loss no one is ever ready for, and losing her to a mass shooting in the safest city in America is something most people can’t even picture. In this episode, I sit down with bereaved father Arik Housley, who lost his 18-year-old daughter Alaina in the 2018 Borderline Bar and Grill shooting in Thousand Oaks, California.

In this episode, we talk about:
✨ Arik’s story of losing his daughter Alaina
✨ Why Arik encourages people not to go down the dark road of “why” after a sudden, violent loss
✨ The surreal first days after loss
✨ Why Arik believes our surviving children are more resilient than we give them credit for
✨ How a years-long legal battle over privacy complicates the grieving process
✨ How each person in the same family can grieve the same loss in completely different ways
✨ How grief humor has kept Arik, his wife, and their son connected
✨ How to give people grace when they say the wrong thing about your loss
✨ What to say to someone who is grieving
✨ How forgiveness can be a way to stop carrying the weight of what happened
✨ The story behind Arik’s memoir, Always November
✨ How Alaina’s Voice Foundation provides free mental health services to victims of violence
✨ Finding comfort in signs and symbols

If you’ve lost a child, if you’re supporting someone who has, or if you’re simply tired of grief advice that doesn’t sound like real life, I hope this conversation makes you feel a little less alone.

Connect with Arik at https://arikhousley.com/

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