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Life-Changing Reads from a Psychiatrist

Life-Changing Reads from a Psychiatrist

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 As an avid reader, I’m always seeking that next great book. The one that allows me to see myself and the world more clearly, comforts me when I’m lost, or inspires me to move through my day differently. This series is my opportunity to pass these remarkable books onto you, as readers of A Mind of Her Own, both for your own enjoyment and also, as a self-serving shout-out to the universe to send me more amazing, life-changing reads. I’m excited to hear what you think, and I’m so glad you’re here!Life-Changing Reads: A Series1. Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, by Parker Palmer“Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening…vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear.”I read this book when I was feeling lost, searching for a life that aligned with my values and desires, and doubting myself at every step. I kept hearing this call to write, to create, but I thought it was something I should do in my “non-work” time, because it wasn’t a serious activity for a physician. Parker’s discussion of his own struggle to find his true vocation, through an altruistic but ultimately unsustainable career path, was a fundamental guide on my journey.2. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain“So when introverts assume the observer role, as when they write novels, or contemplate unified field theory—or fall quiet at dinner parties—they’re not demonstrating a failure of will or a lack of energy. They’re simple doing what they’re constitutionally suited for.”I listened to this book in the car, sitting in LA traffic, during my psychiatry residency. I still remember the feeling of hearing these words, suggesting my tendency to prefer listening to talking, observing to acting, thinking to doing was not because I was lazy, overly shy or antisocial. It was what I was “constitutionally suited for.” This was a revelation.Here I am now, writing books, listening as a psychiatrist and podcast host, and taking time to think about life’s great mysteries. Thank you, Susan, for your beautiful writing.3. The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness, by Robert Waldinger, MD and Marc Schulz, PhD“Do I matter? Some of us have lived the majority of our lives and find ourselves looking back, others have most of our lives in front of us and are looking forward. For all of us, regardless of age, it helps to remember that this question of mattering, of leaving something for future generations and of being part of something bigger than ourselves, is not just about our personal achievements—it’s about what we mean to other people. And it’s never too late to start now and leave a mark.”This book, by the directors of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, is a powerful summary of the lives of two generations of individuals from the same families for over 80 years. It’s remarkable to read their quotes as they navigate joy, loss, struggles and successes over the years. The reason I’ve found it so important to read and reread is its powerful reminder of the importance of our relationships in creating happiness. Not money. Not fame. Not a perfect body. Not prizes or rings or medals. It’s all about the love and connection we have in our lives.Today, as I try to navigate the overwhelmingly stressful news and constant churn of social media, it grounds me in my day-to-day life to reflect on those in my closest orbit. How can I connect with them today? How do I show my love and interest in ways both silly and sincere? Even if I’ve been feeling disconnected, I trust that it is never too late to leave my own mark in their lives and remember the joy of having them in mine.4. How Do You Feel? One Doctor’s Search for Humanity in Medicine, by Jessi Gold, MD, MS“Sometimes, the heaviest emotional burden is to bear witness or to hold space for someone else’s story. To do my job well and be someone whom people can trust, I need to care. I need to be truly empathetic. I need to be raw and available.”This beautiful book, by Jessi Gold, describes so many aspects of my experience as a psychiatrist. She writes about the unique emotional toll of meeting with patients during some of their darkest moments, as they are working to overcome trauma, abuse, loss or grave illnesses. Reading this was incredibly validating. In the past, when I had finished my clinical week, I would look back and wonder, “Why can’t I do more? Why didn’t I see more patients? There is so much need.”Dr. Gold’s book helped me to be self-compassionate, recognizing I could only be truly present if I also took care of myself. This is a message I now try to pass along to the psychiatry residents I teach. We are human, and we have limits. Thank you, Jessi, for generously sharing your life with us. Your work is so important.Listen to Dr. Gold on The Reflective Mind Podcast at https://...
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