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We explore defensiveness as a nervous system reflex that shuts down connection and share practices that turn hard truths into repair. From parenting regrets to partner conflicts, we model the pause, reflective listening and building self-safety so honesty can land.

• defining defensiveness and how it derails connection
• shame and guilt as triggers for reactivity
• authenticity gaps between public self and home self
• validation over explanation as the repair path
• role-playing to build empathy and reduce triggers
• the pause, reflective listening and one-sided shares
• using a talking stick and setting return times
• staying steady when delivery is heated
• forgiving the past self to hear the present truth
• simple reflection to practice before responding

Let us know what your questions are, and we'd love to use them on a future episode. Or check us out on Insta at Let That Ship Go or visit our website, SerenityCove Temecula.com

https://www.serenitycovetemecula.com

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Ever noticed how we're quick to call self-care "indulgent" but consider self-sacrifice "noble"? Something's deeply wrong with that equation, and it's exactly what we're tackling in this raw, honest conversation about why self-love isn't just nice—it's necessary for survival.

Most of us were raised with messages that our worth is tied to what we do for others. We were praised for being the helpers, the fixers, the ones who would "give the shirt off our backs." This conditioning runs deep, often starting in childhood when we learn that love is something to be earned through performance and people-pleasing. As Noel shares his experience of buying throw pillows just because they brought him joy, we explore how even small acts of self-nurturing can feel revolutionary when you've spent your life believing your value comes from serving others.

The truth is that loving yourself isn't selfish—it's one of the most selfless things you can do. When you're not overextended, resentful, and depleted, you become more emotionally available to others. You show up more authentically in relationships because you're not constantly performing. We dig into the psychology behind self-abandonment, offering practical questions to help you identify where you might be outsourcing your worth and how to reclaim it.

What would change if you truly believed you were lovable without having to earn it? In a culture that profits from self-doubt, choosing to love yourself is truly an act of rebellion. Join us as we lovingly get uncomfortable and challenge the notion that we must heal before we're worthy of our own love. Perhaps self-love isn't the reward for healing—it's the fuel that makes healing possible in the first place.

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"You're not crazy." Three words that changed everything for Hilda Reyes after years of doubting her reality in what appeared to be a perfect marriage. What began as a fairytale romance with a handsome fireman who promised to show her what real love felt like gradually unraveled into a nightmare of gaslighting, betrayal, and physical illness as her body tried desperately to alert her to the truth her mind wasn't ready to accept.

In this deeply moving conversation, Hilda takes us through her journey from being completely disconnected from herself to finding profound healing and self-love. She reveals how childhood trauma and lack of self-worth made her vulnerable to narcissistic manipulation, and how even as her intuition screamed that something wasn't right, she was told by both her husband and a therapist that the problem was within her. The physical toll was devastating – chronic pain, stomach issues, and eventually an autoimmune condition that doctors linked directly to emotional abuse.

The path to recovery wasn't linear or easy. Hilda shares the excruciating process of sitting with her pain rather than numbing it, taking radical responsibility for her own patterns, and using various healing modalities including therapy, breathwork, and plant medicine to reconnect with her authentic self. Perhaps most powerfully, she describes how healing herself also healed her relationships with her mother and daughter, breaking generational patterns of trauma.

Whether you're questioning your own relationship, supporting someone through narcissistic abuse, or on your own healing journey, Hilda's story offers profound insight into how our greatest pain can lead to our greatest awakening. Remember: if your body is telling you something is wrong, listen. You're not crazy. You're enough, and you've always been enough.

http://myetherealdayspa.com

https://www.serenitycovetemecula.com