What if the way we react today has more to do with what happened to us in the past than we realise?

In this episode of Let’s Check In Podcast, Suzie McErvale sits down with educator, counsellor, author and TEDx speaker Lael Stone to explore the stories, emotional imprints and patterns we carry from childhood into our adult lives.

Lael explains why we can become disconnected from ourselves in an increasingly distracted world, how our childhood experiences shape the way we relate to others, and why creating safety and connection is so important for both children and adults.

They explore emotional regulation, attachment, co-regulation, parenting, relationships and the different ways we learn to protect ourselves when we don’t feel safe. Lael also shares a powerful story about an argument with her husband that was transformed when they stopped blaming each other and recognised the younger parts of themselves underneath the conflict.

The conversation also looks at why emotional work can sometimes feel different for men and women, how we can invite our partners into this work without making them wrong, and what it means to truly own our stories rather than unconsciously repeating them.

Connect with Lael Stone:

📖 Own Your Own Story

📖 Raising Resilient and Compassionate Children

📱 @laelstone

📱 @woodlineprimary

Thanks for checking in. 💛

Competition Details

Season 3 is proudly supported by Pulito Group. To celebrate, they're giving one lucky business the chance to win $1,000 towards a professional commercial clean for a retail, hospitality or commercial space. To enter, fill out this form, https://offer.pulitogroup.com.au/form... follow @pulito_group on Instagram, like the competition post and comment by tagging a business owner or someone opening or refreshing a commercial space.

🎙️ About the Let's Check In Podcast

The Let's Check In Podcast explores the uncertain middle of modern life through candid conversations, expert insights and practical tools for navigating change, growth and wellbeing. Subscribe for new episodes and conversations that help make sense of life's challenges, opportunities and everything in between.

In this episode:

• Why we’re becoming increasingly disconnected from ourselves

• Helping children develop connection and emotional awareness

• Attachment, attunement and co-regulation

• How childhood imprints shape adult relationships

• Recognising when our younger selves are being triggered

• Breaking patterns of blame and making each other wrong

• Why emotional safety matters in relationships

• How to invite a partner into the work

• Letting go, grief and the changing role of a parent

• Learning to own your story with compassion Learn more about Lael Stone and her work through the links in the show notes.

Chapters:

00:00 Can I Be Me With You?

02:05 Are We More Disconnected Than Ever?

04:17 Helping Children Reconnect With Themselves

06:18 Pulito Group Sponsor Offer

07:19 How Do We Connect With Ourselves?

09:05 Creating Space to Discover Who We Are

12:07 Moving Beyond the Hustle

13:06 What Every Human Is Looking For 16:06 Connection, Attachment & Co-Regulation

18:07 Sitting With Difficult Emotions

21:50 What We Bring Into Relationships

25:07 The Emotional Imprints We Inherit

27:04 “I’m Only Lovable When I’m Good”

29:03 When Your Younger Self Shows Up

32:06 Breaking the Pattern of Blame

33:19 Why Emotional Work Can Be Hard for Partners

37:37 How Do We Make It Safe to Feel?

39:28 What Are You Feeling Uncertain About?

39:44 Letting Go, Grief & the Mother Heart

42:32 Suzie's Final Thoughts

43:27 Thanks For Checking In

What happens when the person you’ve become no longer quite matches the way you show up in the world?

In this episode of the Let’s Check In Podcast, Suzie McErvale talks with Grace Lam — Fashion Stylist and Podcaster, Former Fashion Editor, Vogue China, creative consultant and women’s health advocate, about style, confidence, menopause and the uncertainty that comes with changing through midlife.

Grace believes style isn’t about following trends or hiding the parts of ourselves that have changed. It’s about finding ways to express who we are now and having the confidence to own it.

Grace shares her own experience of perimenopause, including the brain fog and insomnia that led her to discover just how little the fashion industry was talking about menopause. Through Me Not Pause, she is helping challenge the stigma around menopause and changing perceptions of what women in midlife are supposed to look like.

They also explore:

* Why style comes from the soul, rather than simply following fashion

* How what we wear can influence our confidence and even our mood

* Finding your style again when your body or identity changes

* Why you don’t need a whole new wardrobe to reinvent yourself

* Using small changes and accessories to step outside your comfort zone * What Grace learned from her years at Vogue China

* Why trying something new can help us build resilience

* The importance of challenging the assumptions we have about ourselves

* Grace’s work to open up conversations around menopause and transgender experiences

* And the question that may be worth asking at any stage of life: Who do I want to become?

Above all, this is a conversation about owning who you are, refusing to disappear as you change, and giving yourself permission to have a little more fun along the way.

As Grace puts it: “They’re not you. Period.”

Thanks for checking in. 💛

Competition Details Season 3 is proudly supported by Pulito Group. To celebrate, they're giving one lucky business the chance to win $1,000 towards a professional commercial clean for a retail, hospitality or commercial space. To enter, fill out this form, https://offer.pulitogroup.com.au/form... follow @pulito_group on Instagram, like the competition post and comment by tagging a business owner or someone opening or refreshing a commercial space.

🎙️ About the Let's Check In Podcast The Let's Check In Podcast explores the uncertain middle of modern life through candid conversations, expert insights and practical tools for navigating change, growth and wellbeing.

Subscribe for new episodes and conversations that help make sense of life's challenges, opportunities and everything in between.

Chapters

00:00 — Meet Grace Lam

01:39 — How style can change your confidence

01:40 — Adelaide Colour Analysis 03:00 — Fashion vs. style: dressing from the soul

03:38 — Grace’s perimenopause journey

05:28 — Why women struggle to dress during midlife

06:09 — Pulito Group Sponsor Offer 07:11 — What Vogue China taught Grace about identity

09:37 — Styling without breaking the budget

11:32 — How what you wear can create boundaries

13:55 — When the outside doesn’t match how you feel

15:02 — Finding your own style as you change

16:20 — Helping women rediscover their style

18:18 — Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

19:29 — Grace Lam Chats and building resilience

21:10 — What Tokyo taught Grace about fashion

22:29 — Learning through Me Not Pause

25:52 — Finding purpose at 53

26:37 — Authenticity, confidence and owning your style

27:00 — Why trying something new matters

28:36 — Changing the way we see menopause

30:45 — Who do you want to become?

32:17 — Living with uncertainty and focusing on what you can control

33:14 — “They’re not you. Period.”

34:02 — Suzie’s final thoughts

34:56 — Thanks for checking in

What if the hardest battles in life are the ones no one else can see?

From childhood OCD and intrusive thoughts to motherhood, identity, self-compassion and raising a neurodivergent family, Penny Moodie shares an honest and deeply moving conversation about what it means to live with uncertainty.

Best known as the author of The Joy Thief, mental health advocate and Co-host of @ItsNotWhatYouThinkPodcast , Penny explains why OCD is so often misunderstood, how Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy changed her life, and why compassion, not perfection, is often the key to healing.

The conversation also explores the invisible identity shift that many parents experience, the challenges of raising neurodivergent children, and why modelling emotional regulation matters more than trying to be the “perfect” parent.

Whether you live with OCD, love someone who does, or simply want to understand yourself and others with greater compassion, this episode offers practical insight and genuine hope.

In this episode you’ll discover:

• What OCD really feels like beyond common stereotypes

• Why uncertainty fuels anxiety - and how to respond differently

• How self-compassion can interrupt shame

• The identity challenges of becoming a stay-at-home parent

• Lessons from raising a neurodivergent family

• Why modelling behaviour is more powerful than giving advice

• Balancing openness with protecting children’s privacy

If this conversation resonates with you, please like, subscribe and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Competition Details

Season 3 is proudly supported by Pulito Group. To celebrate, they’re giving one lucky business the chance to win $1,000 towards a professional commercial clean.

To enter, visit @pulito_group on Instagram, complete the form via the link in bio, follow @pulito_group, like the competition post, and tag a business owner, operator or decision-maker in the comments.

About the Let's Check In Podcast

Let's Check In Podcast explores the uncertain middle of modern life through candid conversations, expert insights and practical tools for navigating change, growth and wellbeing. Subscribe for new episodes and conversations that help make sense of life's challenges, opportunities and everything in between.

00:00 Parenting Changed Me First

00:30 Introduction 02:53 When OCD First Appeared

06:33 Learning To Live With Uncertainty

09:13 Pulito Group Sponsor Offer 10:15 The Biggest Misconceptions About OCD

14:15 Why Self-Compassion Matters

15:51 Losing Yourself In Parenthood

20:00 Your Children Become Your Greatest Teachers

22:30 Raising Neurodivergent Kids With Compassion

25:28 Family Diagnoses & Rediscovery

25:50 Hugh's Diagnosis

26:35 Why Penny Started It's Not What You Think Podcast

28:15 Breaking Shame, Protecting Privacy

31:06 Suzie's Reflections