You earned your place in law school or at a law firm. So why does it still feel like someone might discover a mistake? Former litigator and now counsellor, Bena Stock, joins Susan Van Dyke and Johanna Mills to talk about the confidence gap, perfectionism and the habits that make anxiety louder. Bena brings 24 years of litigation experience and practical tools for the moments when your inner critic starts drafting its own factum.

What law students can take into practice:
• Treat a mistake as information. Tell the right person promptly, help fix it, and ask what you can learn.
• Catch the familiar mental route from one piece of criticism to “I do not belong here.” Check the evidence before you accept that story.
• Write down one thing you did well each day and why. Keep kind feedback in a folder you can revisit on a difficult day.
• Do not wait for a busy senior lawyer to notice every win. Share your contribution clearly.
• Before a difficult ask, name the facts, your thoughts, your feelings and what you need. Choose the right person and time, then agree when to check back.

The goal is excellent work and steady learning, not a flawless performance that keeps you from starting.

Lawyer Launcher links:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/lawyerlauncher/
TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@lawyerlauncher/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@LawyerLauncher-BTB/
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/susanpvandyke/

Chapters:

00:00 Bridging the confidence gap
02:43 Bena’s early career and imposter syndrome
05:01 Why success can feel like luck
05:59 The perfectionism trap
10:53 What research says about mistakes
13:38 Choosing excellence over perfection
15:51 How to own a mistake at work
18:17 Building a growth mindset
21:19 “Cow paths” and anxious thinking patterns
27:04 Countering negativity bias with visualization
28:32 Record your wins and keep a kudos folder
32:02 The tiara syndrome: making your work visible
34:14 Using positive self-talk under pressure
35:44 Asking for what you want
40:08 A framework for difficult conversations
45:46 Debrief: the cost of avoiding risks
48:53 Recovering from mistakes
51:08 Finding a human connection at work
53:47 Final takeaways

Your next professional connection could start with two minutes by the coffee machine.

Susan Van Dyke, founder of Lawyer Launcher, joins Tanya Martinez-Gallinucci, Executive Director of the Office for Diversity, Equity, Inclusion & Belonging, New York City Bar Association, on Building Belonging, a podcast from the New York City Bar Association and its Office for Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging, to unpack networking, mentorship, and the unspoken rules of a legal career.

Susan and Tanya explore how to build a community of mentors, colleagues, and future clients through curiosity, listening, and finding ways to be helpful. They discuss why networking can feel uncomfortable even for extroverts, how brief “micro moments” can lead to meaningful relationships, and what it looks like to take responsibility for your professional growth.

You’ll also hear how a successful litigator worked through his anxiety about small talk with a few simple, practiced questions. Whether you’re entering law school, starting at a firm, or strengthening your professional relationships, this conversation offers practical ways to find your people and keep those connections growing.

Lawyer Launcher links:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/lawyerlauncher/
TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@lawyerlauncher/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@LawyerLauncher-BTB/
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/susanpvandyke/

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Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Building Belonging & ALI
01:22 Meet Susan Van Dyke
04:50 Seeing the Bigger Picture Inside a Law Firm
06:08 Trust, Leadership & Belonging
07:23 The Gap Between Law School and Practice
10:02 Why Mentorship Needs Better Communication
12:01 Taking Responsibility for Your Career
14:09 Building Your Circle of Mentors
15:20 Adjusting to Life Inside a Law Firm
16:43 Introducing Lawyer Launcher
18:24 Law Firm Economics & Career Development
19:51 Making the Unspoken Rules Explicit
20:21 When Networking Feels Uncomfortable
22:55 Bringing Curiosity to New Connections
24:40 Networking Through Helpfulness & Listening
27:01 Finding Your People
29:36 Making the Most of Micro Moments
31:58 Turning Brief Conversations Into Follow-Ups
34:23 Helping a Senior Lawyer Get Comfortable With Small Talk
36:04 Connecting Legal Pipeline Programs & Resources
39:04 Learning From Different Voices in the Profession
40:08 Building Relationships Over Time
41:19 Closing Remarks

Opinions expressed are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect those of the New York City Bar Association.

Guest: Pauline Chan, called to the bar in 2010, now leading lawyer experience for a national network of 700+ Canadian lawyers.

Pauline's résumé reads like a success story: Big Law, in house, a solo practice, a fitness studio business she built with partners, and now a national leadership role. But this conversation isn't about the résumé. It's about what was happening underneath it: the 2 a.m. phone checks that spiked her heart rate before she was even fully awake, the bladder infections from refusing to leave her desk, and the afternoon she caught herself envying a colleague whose broken arm meant a month off work, thinking nothing of it.

Pauline and Susan trace the moment that "normal" stopped being normal: the outside conversation (with a husband, then two mentors) that finally named what her environment couldn't see. From there, Pauline walks through the messy, non linear path to in house to founding her own studio to a fractional practice, and what she learned at each stop about the difference between hard but meaningful work and work that's just hard because something's wrong.

This is a candid conversation about burnout culture in law, the myth of the "one right path," how to actually find (and use) a mentor, and why saying "I don't know, yet" might be the most powerful four words in a junior lawyer's vocabulary. If you're articling or interning, a few years in, or quietly wondering whether the grind is sustainable, this one's for you.

Guest links:

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/paulinepochan/
Goodlawyer: https://www.goodlawyer.ca/

Lawyer Launcher links:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/lawyerlauncher/
TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@lawyerlauncher/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@LawyerLauncher-BTB/
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/susanpvandyke/