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  • S2 Ep131: The Eartha Kitt Effect Why Women Are Happily Choosing the Single Life for Life

    S2 Ep131: The Eartha Kitt Effect Why Women Are Happily Choosing the Single Life for Life
    2025/08/06
    What if “happily ever after” starts and ends with just you?

    In this bold and expansive episode, Shan dives into The Eartha Kitt Effect—a cultural and emotional awakening inspired by the legendary performer Eartha Kitt, whose unapologetic views on love, compromise, and individuality continue to resonate decades later. This “effect” refers to the growing movement of people, especially women, who are choosing the single life on purpose, not by default.

    Joining Shan is Dr. Bella DePaulo, renowned social psychologist and author of Single at Heart, to unpack why some of the most fulfilled people are not in romantic relationships—and never want to be.

    Together, they explore:

    • 🔥 Why Eartha Kitt’s viral interview moment ("Compromise? For what?") sparked a generation of self-partnership

    • 🌱 How choosing not to center romance can lead to deeper personal growth, freedom, and connection

    • 🧠 The science behind happiness in singlehood and the myth of the “incomplete” single person

    • 💔 How media and social norms still stigmatize solo living—and what it looks like to rewrite your own happy ending

    Eartha’s now-iconic 1982 interview, where she laughs at the idea of compromising for a man, has become a symbol for self-honoring love. Her words echo across social media as more people step into identities that aren’t centered on romantic validation but on personal wholeness.

    Whether you're single by choice, rethinking long-term relationships, or simply seeking permission to define love your way—this episode is your affirmation.

    ✨ The Eartha Kitt Effect is here so listen now and ask yourself: What if “happily ever after” starts and ends with you?


    🔗 Follow Bella DePaulo:
     Website: belladepaulo.com
    Books: Single at Heart, How We Live Now, and more – Amazon


    💞 Want more from Lover?
     → Meet Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you: loversbyshan.com
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    📩 For ads or inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com
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    42 分
  • S2 Ep130: No One Talks About How Hard Making Friends As An Adult Is ft. Krista Williams

    S2 Ep130: No One Talks About How Hard Making Friends As An Adult Is ft. Krista Williams
    2025/07/30
    Does making friends get harder as you get older? How the hell do I make friends? This episode is a rerun, and it's STILL very accurate. According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021, many people are not satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have. If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond. So, how long does it take to make a new friend? - 50 hours before you consider them a casual friend - 90 hours before becoming real friends - 200hours- before becoming close friends source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships' As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments. In this episode, I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia, and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs, and the work it takes to make them work. A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMF,T, and Danielle Bayard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert, for lending their expertise on forming friendships. Follow the guests on this episode: Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram/ http://tiktok.com/shanboody / @loversbyshan Follow Krista: https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/ https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/ Follow Tabia: https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/ Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/ https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/ Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com
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    58 分
  • S2 Ep129: Is a Good Man Good Enough? ft. Miranda Rae Mayo

    S2 Ep129: Is a Good Man Good Enough? ft. Miranda Rae Mayo
    2025/07/23

    What if the love story you were chasing… was never really yours?

    In this episode, actress Miranda Rae Mayo joins Shan to explore the journey of finding love by letting go of the fantasy. Known for her role on Chicago Fire, Miranda opens up about her current relationship and how she had to release the pressure to be “perfect” to experience a real connection.

    Together, they explore how love doesn’t always look the way we expected, and why exploring non-monogamy challenged (and expanded) her thoughts around love, security, and partnership.

    🔗 Follow Miranda

    Miranda https://www.instagram.com/mrmayo
    Follow her exclusive project https://www.instagram.com/hereshecomestv/

    Want more Lover?

    Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com

    Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

    💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

    Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
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    52 分
  • S2 Ep128: Are They Your Type or Your Trauma Response ft. Anwar White

    S2 Ep128: Are They Your Type or Your Trauma Response ft. Anwar White
    2025/07/16

    What does it mean to date and be in relationships in a trauma-informed way? Are you dating from a place of fear instead of self-worth? In this powerful episode, certified dating and relationship coach Anwar White opens up about his personal journey and why emotional safety is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We explore the crucial question: Can you really date men if you're scared of them, or if deep down, you don't even like them?

    Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating dating anxiety, or looking to build confidence and emotional security in love, this episode will give you the tools to understand and honor your safety needs.

    In this powerful and deeply personal episode, dating coach Anwar White joins Shan to talk about what it means to date with emotional and relational safety at the center. Anwar shares his personal story of leaving an unsafe environment as a child alongside his mother, and how that shaped his deep understanding of safety, trust, and partnership. Now, as a coach helping Black and Brown women find aligned, lasting love, Anwar breaks down the realities of trauma-informed dating, co-regulation, and building standards rooted in self-worth.

    This conversation also explores the ways our early relationships model love for us, and how watching his mother now thrive in a healthy partnership has become part of Anwar’s full-circle healing and success story.

    🔗 Follow Anwar
    https://www.instagram.com/datingcoachanwar
    Listen to his podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1PTRAwfi9ZPDF6h4BOWXvj
    Checkout his services https://getyourguycoaching.com/

    Want more Lover?
    Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com
    Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
    💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
    Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
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    53 分
  • S2 Ep127: What’s the Emotional Tax on Casual Sex? ft. Decisions Decisions

    S2 Ep127: What’s the Emotional Tax on Casual Sex? ft. Decisions Decisions
    2025/07/09
    In this episode, Weezy and Mandii B get real about shedding the pressure to “find the one” and embracing what feels good instead of what looks good on paper, how we need to reverse engineer the way we have casual sex, and how to set yourself up for success while dating and having casual sex.

    WeezyWTF expands on how sexual liberation goes hand in hand with how you approach and manifest casual sex. Mandii B & Binx open up about surviving sexual assault, and how that experience reshaped their relationships with men in their community.

    Follow Weezy: @weezywtf
    Follow Mandii B: @fullcourtpumps
    Tour Dates: https://nhbtour.com/
    Get their book: https://a.co/d/8VY8Tje

    Follow Binx: @the_binx

    Follow Vincent aka Hands of Furey:
    Learn more about him: http://www.handsoffurey.com/

    Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community
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    53 分
  • S2 Ep126: Too Many of Us Are Living with High-Functioning Depression ft. Dr. Judith Joseph

    S2 Ep126: Too Many of Us Are Living with High-Functioning Depression ft. Dr. Judith Joseph
    2025/07/02
    What if numbness is the hidden wound of high-functioning depression?

    In this episode, Shan sits down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and internationally recognized mental health advocate.

    They dive deep into anhedonia, the loss of pleasure or interest in things that once brought you joy, and how it shows up, especially for those living with high-functioning depression. Dr. Joseph expands on how joy is our birthright and how it connects to our biopsychosocial blueprint.

    Expect insights on:
    ✨ How high-functioning depression operates
    ✨ Why anhedonia is so often overlooked
    ✨ The three-part psycho-socio-biological model that explains it
    ✨ How to begin reconnecting with your desire and vitality

    👑 Follow Dr. Judith Joseph on Instagram: instagram.com/drjudithjoseph
    👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/community
    Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me loversbyshan.com/newsletter
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    25 分
  • S2 Ep125: Kama Sutra Secrets Every Woman Deserves to Know ft. Seema Anand

    S2 Ep125: Kama Sutra Secrets Every Woman Deserves to Know ft. Seema Anand
    2025/06/24
    What if the key to better sex isn’t new, but rooted in ancestral knowledge?

    In this episode, Shan sits down with storyteller, mythologist, and ancient erotica expert Seema Anand to explore the rich, and yes, deeply sexy, history of sexual liberation, and why it's never really been a modern idea.

    Together, they unpack what it means to reconnect with your desire through ancestry, ritual, and unapologetic self-expression. We talk sex positions (yes, the Kama Sutra makes an appearance), the role of storytelling in the bedroom, and how wearing your desire, literally, can be one of the boldest, most freeing things you do.

    This conversation even inspired a whole jewelry line. The Kama Collection is a tribute to sensuality, intention, and the art of not hiding your hunger.

    👑 Follow Seema Anand on Instagram: @seemaanandstorytelling

    🔥 Shop the Kama Collection: surmeyi.com/kama
    The waist chain designed for being on top
    The anklet designed for when your legs are in the air
    The necklace designed for yab yum
    The earrings designed for riding
    The choker designed for lotus position
    The spine chain designed for doggystyle

    👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/community
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    54 分
  • S2 Ep124: He Was Never Going To Commit And Here's Why ft. Duckwrth

    S2 Ep124: He Was Never Going To Commit And Here's Why ft. Duckwrth
    2025/06/18
    Why do fuckboys… fuckboy? In this episode, we dig into the root of it.

    Just ahead of the release of his new single Permanent Vacation (dropping June 18), genre-bending artist Duckwrth joins Shan for a raw and revealing conversation on why some men detach, ghost, and repeat the cycle. Together, they unpack how fear of commitment, cultural conditioning, and childhood wounds can all contribute to the “Certified Loverboy” identity.

    Duckwrth opens up about his own evolution—from polyamory and emotional avoidance to developing a deeper sense of self-awareness and desire for real connection.

    If you’ve ever dated a fuckboy, been affected by one, or are reflecting on your own relationship patterns, this one’s for you.

    🎧 Watch the video for Permanent Vacation
     💫 Follow Duckwrth on Instagram: @duckwrth
    👥 Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community
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    57 分