Empathic Reflection: The Power of Truly Being With Someone

In this episode, EFT Trainer Emeritus Jim Thomas takes us back to one of the most basic—and most powerful—skills in therapy: empathic reflection. Through conversation and live role plays, Jim demonstrates how staying close to a client’s actual words can help them feel deeply seen, understood, and emotionally safe. We explore why therapists often work too hard, move too quickly toward interpretation or intervention, and miss the transformative power of simply being with someone before trying to change them.

In this episode of Leaning Into the Fire, I sit down with EFT trainer Ali Barbosa for a deeply personal conversation about attachment, emotional safety, and what it means to have a “safe harbor” when life becomes painful. Ali explores how attachment gives us a compassionate way to understand shame, fear, vulnerability, and the protective strategies we use when we feel overwhelmed. We then move beyond talking about therapy and into a real EFIT role play, with Ali as the therapist and me as the client, using an actual experience from my life involving comparison, self-worth, anxiety, and my lifelong struggle with stuttering. Along the way, Ali demonstrates the power of slowing down, staying with emotion rather than rushing to fix it, honoring the ways we protect ourselves, and helping vulnerable experiences become less lonely. At the heart of our conversation is a simple but powerful idea: healing doesn't mean we stop feeling vulnerable—it means we learn that we don't have to be vulnerable alone.

Kathryn de Bruin, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), therapist and trainer shares with us her take on the need for therapists to connect through mentorship, social support, and co-regulation. She is a brilliant therapist and trainer and teacher, and she has a huge heart. You can listen to the full interview on the episode of the podcast: "LEANING INTO THE FIRE: a podcast about therapy" ----- here is the link to the episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2603389