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  • The Architecture of Repair: Building A Secure Base with Emma Abel Loach, LMFT

    The Architecture of Repair: Building A Secure Base with Emma Abel Loach, LMFT
    2026/04/07
    "Their behavior is a longing for connection."If you’ve ever found yourself in a "boiling point" moment—where a simple request turns into a door-slamming explosion—then this episode is your permission slip to stop being a "Fixer" and start being an Anchor.In this conversation, I’m joined by Emma Abel Loach, M.Ed., Ed.S., LMFT, the Clinical Director at Thrive Couple and Family Counseling Services and a triple-certified supervisor in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). We slow down the "Family Cycle" to look at the unspoken stories happening under the surface of our most stressful parenting moments.Key Takeaways from This Episode:The Family Cycle: How parents and children get caught in "meaning-making" loops. Often, what we see as "bad behavior" is actually an unclear signal for a deep attachment longing.The "Manager" vs. The "Anchor": Why our instinct to jump straight to consequences often misses the point of the behavior.The 33% Rule of Repair: Emma shares the research-backed relief that we only need to get the "repair" right about one-third of the time to build a secure attachment with our kids.Accountability over Auditing: Why the parent’s primary job is to regulate themselves first before attempting to co-regulate with their child.Setting Boundaries with Empathy: How to hold a firm "No" (like the Billy’s house example) while still making your child feel seen and understood in their disappointment.Slowing Down the Cycle: A 3-Step FrameworkEmma outlines how to handle a "rupture" (like a door slam or a shutdown in the car):The Internal U-Turn: The parent regulates their own nervous system first. You cannot be curious if you are in a state of panic or rage.The Curious Approach: Re-enter the space with your child by acknowledging the "suck." Use phrases like: "I saw that, and I get that it sucked. I want to understand what that was like for you".The Logical Rewrite: Once the nervous systems are calm, move into the second half of repair—the "left brain" retelling of what happened and finding a way forward together.Resources & Links:Connect with Emma: Learn more about her work at Thrive Couple and Family Counseling Services.Work with IBH: Visit Integrated Behavioral Health for therapy and assessments in Denver and across the United States.Featured Resource: Download our Internal U-Turn Workbook to help identify these cycles with your parenting partner.IBH Newsletter: Join the community and start your 3-Day Parenting Reflections journey.Found this episode helpful? Please rate us 5 stars and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more families looking for their steady ground. ⚓️✨Remember: You don't have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning about how to raise Kids These Days.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.
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    37 分
  • More Than a Mouth: Why Your Baby’s “Tension” Might Be an Oral Tie with Dr. Kayla Culbertson

    More Than a Mouth: Why Your Baby’s “Tension” Might Be an Oral Tie with Dr. Kayla Culbertson
    2026/03/31

    “I looked, and I don’t see a tie.”

    For many parents, this sentence is the beginning of a long, frustrating journey of chasing symptoms like fragmented sleep, chronic gas, and delayed motor milestones without ever finding the root cause.

    In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Dr. Kayla Culbertson, a pediatric Occupational Therapist and specialist in tethered oral ties. Dr. Kayla shares her own "in the trenches" story of how an oral tie release for her son resolved 8 days of constipation and changed his nervous system overnight.

    We move beyond the anatomy of a "string under the tongue" to explore the Inside-Out reality: how the fascia in our mouths is connected to a "Frontal Line" that travels all the way to our toes. If the system is tight at the top, the whole baby feels the flood.

    In this episode, we discuss:

    1. The Frontal Line: Why oral ties cause "fisted" hands, curled toes, and hiked-up shoulders.
    2. Function over Anatomy: Why a "posterior" tie can be invisible to the eye but devastating to a baby's regulation.
    3. The Vagus Nerve & GI Connection: How the tongue's position at the palate acts as the "off-switch" for the survival brain.
    4. Compensations vs. Growth: Why you don’t "grow out" of ties; you simply grow into lifelong workarounds (and the toll that takes).
    5. The Therapy Bridge: Why you should never "just cut the tie" without prepping the nervous system first.

    Remember: You don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise Kids These Days.

    Links & Resources:
    1. Dr. Kayla's website: https://www.thriveandshinetherapyllc.com/
    2. IBH Practice Website: www.integratedbhs.com
    3. Newsletter: Sign up for the Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter for monthly parenting tips and tricks.
    4. Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for "Inside-Out" insights.

    Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.
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    41 分
  • Why Your Child Refuses School: Understanding School Avoidance and the SPACE Protocol

    Why Your Child Refuses School: Understanding School Avoidance and the SPACE Protocol
    2026/03/24

    Morning stress, "tummy aches," and the desperate plea to stay home—school refusal is one of the most taxing challenges a family system can face. In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn is joined by Dr. Alex Littleton to discuss the "School Refusal Trap." They dive deep into why our well-intentioned efforts to ease a child's distress can inadvertently reinforce their anxiety. Using the framework of the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) protocol, they provide a roadmap for parents to move from "managing" the morning crisis to becoming a "Secure Base" for their child's resilience.

    In this episode, we cover:

    1. Defining School Refusal: The difference between a "bad morning" and a persistent pattern of avoidance.
    2. The Accommodation Trap: How "rescuing" our kids from discomfort tells the brain that school is actually dangerous.
    3. The SPACE Protocol: Why treating child anxiety through the parents is often more effective than traditional therapy.
    4. Supportive Statements: The two-ingredient formula (Validation + Confidence) that shifts the internal narrative.
    5. Red Light vs. Yellow Light: Why negotiating with an anxious child only "speeds up" the anxiety.
    6. Home as "School": Practical steps for changing the home environment when a child stays home.
    7. The Snowball Effect: Why building resilience in one small area helps the rest of the accommodations "melt away."

    Links & Resources:

    1. Guest Info: Dr. Alex Littleton's Practice Link
    2. Clinical Resource: The SPACE Treatment Official Site
    3. Support: Integrated Behavioral Health - Anxiety & School Refusal Support
    4. Podcast: Subscribe to Kids These Days on Apple and Spotify.
    5. Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for "Inside-Out" parenting insights.
    6. Newsletter: Sign up for the Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter for weekly reflections on building a Secure Base and practical clinical tools.

    Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.
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    45 分
  • The Insider-Outsider Trap: Why Blended Families Feel “Stuck” and How to Find Your Groove with Alex Harrison, LCSW

    The Insider-Outsider Trap: Why Blended Families Feel “Stuck” and How to Find Your Groove with Alex Harrison, LCSW
    2026/03/17
    “I feel like I’m failing on all fronts.” “I’m always the one left out.”If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know that the word "step" often carries a heavy weight. Between the Disney stereotypes of evil step-parents and the internal feeling that your family was born from a place of "brokenness," it is incredibly easy to get stuck in a state of high-alert. We try to "manage" the dishes and the schedules, but we often forget to look at the Human Being right in front of us.In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Alex Harrison, LCSW—a stepfamily coach and card-carrying member of the "Bonus Mom Club." They peel back the layers of the "Inside-Out" stepfamily experience, exploring why repartnering feels like a redemptive joy for adults but a series of losses for children. Whether you are a "Stuck Insider" feeling pulled in two directions or a "Stuck Outsider" feeling overlooked, this conversation provides the clinical anchors you need to move from chaos to calm.In this episode, we discuss:The "Disney" Narrative: Why we need to acknowledge the "implication of brokenness" baked into the step-parent identity.The Insider-Outsider Dynamic: A deep dive into the universal feeling of being either ganged up on or completely overlooked in decision-making.The "Stuck Insider" Tension: Trying to decide who comes first—the marriage or the kids? You feel pulled because you are. We discuss why you have to hold both with equal tension.The "Nail in the Coffin": Understanding the grief and "magical thinking" kids experience when a parent repartners.The Polarization Trap: Why biological parents want more warmth while step-parents want more structure—and how to bridge that gap.The Gymnast on the Rings: A powerful visual for balancing the needs of your partnership and your children without letting either go.The 3-to-7 Year Groove: Why your family isn't "clicking" yet and why the research says you are actually right on schedule.Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days. Links & Resources:Alex Harrison, LCSW: Learn more about Alex’s coaching and clinical work at https://www.stepfamilyreset.com/.Stepfamily Support: Explore our IBH stepparent support groups at www.integratedbhs.com.The Internal U-Turn Workbook: A resource for navigating the "messy middle" of family transitions.Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for monthly reflections on building a Secure Base.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" insights.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.
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    53 分
  • Is Divorce Messing Up My Kids? A Script for the Secure Base with Dr. Karalynn Royster

    Is Divorce Messing Up My Kids? A Script for the Secure Base with Dr. Karalynn Royster
    2026/03/10

    “Is this decision going to break my child?”

    When a family faces divorce, parents often spiral into intense fear and shame. We worry that our choice to pursue a healthier life will dismantle the Secure Base we’ve worked so hard to build. But as we often say at IBH: our children don’t need us to be perfect; they need us to be regulated, honest, and present.

    In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Karalynn Royster—child psychologist and creator of the Kids First Co-Parenting System—to move parents from a state of anxiety into a place of empowerment. We explore the "Inside-Out" reality of divorce: how to navigate the "messy middle" of co-parenting, why one secure adult is enough to buffer a child’s stress, and how to tell your kids the truth without "gaslighting" their intuition.

    In this episode, we discuss:

    1. The "Messy Middle" of Divorce: Why distress is a healthy response to a major life stressor and how to help your kids move through it, not around it.
    2. The "Flu Shot" Metaphor: Understanding that short-term discomfort (like a separation) can lead to long-term health and a more regulated household.
    3. The Best Way to Tell Your Kids: A step-by-step guide for the "Big Talk"—why you need to be concrete and why it’s never a one-time conversation.
    4. The Power of One: The research-backed truth that it only takes one secure, loving adult to buffer the stress of even the most high-conflict transitions.
    5. Validation vs. Gaslighting: How to be honest about your own "flooding" and anger without burdening your child with the adult details.
    6. The Internal U-Turn for Co-Parents: How to regulate your own nervous system when your ex triggers your "Survival Brain."

    Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days.

    Links & Resources:

    1. Dr. Karalynn Royster: Discover the Kids First Co-Parenting System and more resources at Dr. Royster’s Website.
    2. The Kids First Podcast: Listen to Karalynn’s deep dives into divorce and high-conflict dynamics.
    3. The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: A resource for IBH listeners to find their own "Smart Brain" during transitions.
    4. Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for weekly reflections on building a Secure Base.
    5. Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for daily "Inside-Out" parenting insights.

    Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.
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    40 分
  • Is ADHD Medication "Changing" My Child? The Truth About Neurotransmitter Balance and Good Enough Parenting with Sara Nudd, PMHNP

    Is ADHD Medication "Changing" My Child? The Truth About Neurotransmitter Balance and Good Enough Parenting with Sara Nudd, PMHNP
    2026/03/03

    “If I just try harder, my child wouldn't need this.” “I can exercise my way out of this depression.”

    As parents, the pressure to "optimize" our families often turns us into "Human Doings" who are stuck in a state of high-alert. We treat clinical struggles as personal failures. But what if the path to a healthier family wasn't through perfection, but through balance?

    In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Sara Nudd, PMHNP, founder of The Mama Co-op. Sara shares her incredible "in the trenches" journey from being a 21-year-old mom navigating a medical crisis in the pre-internet 90s to becoming an expert in pediatric and maternal mental health. We dive deep into the science of ADHD medication, the safety of maternal mental health support during pregnancy, and why Good Enough parenting is actually the gold standard.

    In this episode, we discuss:

    1. The Internet Gap: Navigating medical crises in the 90s vs. the information overload of parenting today.
    2. Data vs. Connection: Why your child’s behavior is a more important "data point" than any app or thermometer.
    3. The Inhaler Reframe: Why mental health medication is a tool for regulation, much like an asthma inhaler is a tool for breathing.
    4. ADHD Simplified: How stimulants balance dopamine and norepinephrine to support (not change) the existing brain structure.
    5. Maternal Mental Health & Pregnancy: The evidence-based truth about staying stable on medication while trying to conceive or during pregnancy.
    6. The 100% Mistake Guarantee: Why making mistakes—and the repair that follows—is more vital for your child than doing it "perfectly."

    Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days.

    Links & Resources:

    1. The Mama Co-Op: Learn more about Sara’s practice and parent coaching at The Mama Co-Op Website
    2. Postpartum Support International: PSI Website– A vital resource for perinatal mental health.
    3. Ollie’s Branch: Support for families navigating congenital heart defects at Ollie’s Branch Website
    4. Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" reflections.
    5. Work with IBH: Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation at www.integratedbhs.com

    Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.
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    46 分
  • Is it Anxiety or a Stomach Ache? Navigating the Mind-Gut Connection with Dr. Cat Naclerio

    Is it Anxiety or a Stomach Ache? Navigating the Mind-Gut Connection with Dr. Cat Naclerio
    2026/02/24
    “Mommy, my tummy hurts.” It’s the phrase that can derail a morning and send a parent’s stress levels through the roof. When medical tests come back "normal" but your child is still in pain, where do you turn?In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Cat Naclerio, a pediatric psychologist at Children’s Hospital Colorado’s Digestive Health Institute. They pull back the curtain on the GI issues to explain the fascinating science of the brain-gut axis. Dr. Cat explains why our brains and guts are essentially "text messaging" each other all day and why a "sensitive" gut is a very real medical reality—even when nothing shows up on an X-ray.In this episode, we discuss:The "Text Message" Metaphor: How the brain and gut communicate through the nervous system.Medical Red Flags: When to see a specialist vs. when to focus on stress management (fever, weight loss, and other signs).The "Normal Test" Reframe: Why "everything is normal" is actually good news, not an indication that the pain is "in their head."The Trap of Pain Check-Ins: Why asking "How is your stomach now?" can accidentally make the pain worse.The Path Back to School: Why returning to routine is a clinical necessity for healing functional abdominal pain.Nervous System Resets: Practical tools like diaphragmatic "Belly Breathing" and how to teach them to kids and teens.Whether you’re navigating chronic nausea, constipation, or the "school morning stomach ache," this episode provides a roadmap for moving from "fixing the pain" to "restoring the life."About Our Guest: Dr. Cat Naclerio is an Assistant Professor at the University of Colorado School of Medicine and a pediatric psychologist in the Digestive Health Institute at Children's Hospital Colorado. She specializes in evidence-based behavioral skills to strengthen the mind–gut connection.Links & Resources:App Recommendation (Teens): Breathe2Relax for guided diaphragmatic breathing.App Recommendation (Kids): Sesame Street: Breathe, Think, Do for younger children.Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter.Work with Us: If you are seeking a consultation for your child’s GI-related anxiety, book a complimentary 15-minute call with Integrated Behavioral Health.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" parenting insights.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.
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    45 分
  • The Gut-Brain Connection: Why Your Child’s Mood Starts in the Gut with Dr. Laura Vanston

    The Gut-Brain Connection: Why Your Child’s Mood Starts in the Gut with Dr. Laura Vanston
    2026/02/17
    Did you know that 90% of your child’s serotonin—the "feel-good" neurotransmitter—is actually made in their gut, not their brain?In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with functional and integrative medicine expert Dr. Laura Vanston to demystify the "gut-brain connection." We often think of anxiety as a "head problem," but Dr. Laura explains why it is a bi-directional highway. When the gut is inflamed or the microbiome is out of balance, it sends distress signals straight to the nervous system, often keeping our kids (and ourselves) stuck in a state of "fight or flight."In this episode, we discuss:The Bi-Directional Highway: How the brain talks to the gut (butterflies!) and how the gut talks back to the brain.The Serotonin Secret: Why gut health is the foundation for mood, focus, and anxiety regulation.P.O.P (Plants On Purpose): Simple, non-overwhelming ways to add fiber and "rainbows" to even the pickiest eater’s diet.The Vagus Nerve & Breathwork: Why slowing down our breathing is the "off-switch" for the sympathetic nervous system and how it allows the gut to actually heal.Beyond the Multivitamin: The specific roles of Vitamin D, Iron (Ferritin), Zinc, and Magnesium in supporting a child’s emotional stability.Practical "Micro-Shifts": From fermented ketchup to "stair breathing," we explore tools that work for real, busy families.If you’ve ever wondered why your child’s "nervous stomach" seems to coincide with their biggest meltdowns, this episode will give you the physiological "why" and a roadmap for repair.About Our Guest: Dr. Laura Vanston is an integrative pediatric nurse practitioner who has dedicated her career to helping parents navigate health and wellness for their kids. She loves helping kids improve gut health and their gut-brain connection to help learning, their immune system, sleep, and more!Links & Resources:Fermented Ketchup Recipe: Download here!Integrative Health: Dr. Laura mentions Tiny Health for individualized gut mapping. Check out her website for more info!Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for parenting tips.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more on the Internal U-Turn and the Gut-Brain connection.Website: Learn more about our specialized services at www.integratedbhs.com.#KidsTheseDays #InsideOutParenting #GutBrainConnection #Microbiome #ChildNutrition #AnxietySupport #ADHD #SecureBase #FunctionalMedicine #ParentingUturnLegal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.
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    45 分