A conversation on faith, chronic caregiving, grief, and trusting God when prayers aren't answered the way we hoped

What happens when life asks you to carry more than you ever imagined? This week I'm joined by Paula Romang — wife, mother, Bible study and devotional writer, and a woman whose faith was refined through years of caregiving and profound loss. Paula's son Matthew lived with severe special needs and passed away at age twelve, and in this conversation she shares what it actually looked like to trust God on the days trust didn't feel like a given. If you're walking through chronic illness, grief, or caregiving, this one is for you.

- What "choosing faith over feelings" looked like in the daily, unglamorous grind of caregiving — no warm fuzzy feelings required

- The specific lies suffering tempted Paula to believe about her worth, and the truth from Scripture she returned to instead

- How immersing herself in God's Word and prayer became the lifeline that carried her through Matthew's twelve years and beyond

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." — Deuteronomy 33:27 (NIV)

Isaiah 40–41 [13:40];

Psalm 147:3-4 [14:11];

Isaiah 57:15 [14:44];

Matthew 11:28-30 [19:33]

- It Is Well With My Soul — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QUqo37M0wM

- All the Way My Savior Leads Me — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEOtFEs0Jos

- Praise You in This Storm, Casting Crowns — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YUGwUgBvTU

- Oceans (Where Feet May Fail), Hillsong UNITED — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI-Z0lq-LIE

- Goodness of God, CeCe Winans — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sE5kEnitqE

Trust isn't a feeling you wait around for — it's a choice you make, over and over, to believe God is who He says He is, even when your circumstances say otherwise. This week, may you choose trust — not because it's easy, but because He's already proven He's worthy of it.

Where in your life is God asking you to trust Him even though the outcome doesn't look the way you hoped it would?

- Paula's book, Thriving in the Barren Place: How Trust in God Fueled My Journey Through Heartache and Loss — https://www.amazon.com/Thriving-Barren-Place-Journey-Heartache/dp/B0FCTWBHSX

- Paula's website — www.paularomang.com

- Paula on Facebook — Paula Romang

- Paula on Instagram — @promang869

- Paula on YouTube — Paula Romang

Your story isn't over.

God can bring purpose to your pain

And somehow- even here- joy still remains.

Mentioned in this episode:

A Quick Favor

"I'm looking for 3-5 women to hop on a short, no-pressure 15-minute call with me, just to hear a little about your journey with chronic illness, grief, or a hard season, and the words you would use to describe it. No catches, no upsells, just me wanting to understand my listeners better so I can serve you well. As a thank-you, I will send you my free faith quiz, "What Is God Growing in Your Life Right Now?" If you're willing, just send me a DM on Instagram and I will set up a time that works for you."

A solo episode on grief, chronic illness, and the dreams that never came to be

Sometimes grief isn't about losing a person — it's about losing a version of your life. In this solo episode, Melissa opens up about a kind of grief that rarely gets talked about: the grief of the future you quietly imagined but never got to live. From navigating chronic illness to the long, tender grief of never becoming a mother, Melissa shares how she learned this loss had a name — and how Scripture met her in it. If you've ever wondered whether you're even allowed to grieve a life you never had, this episode is for you.

- What "non-finite" or ambiguous grief is, and why it so often goes unrecognized

- Melissa's own story of chronic illness, the loss of five years of her life, and the long grief of not becoming a mother

- Why grief isn't a competition, and why comparing losses only keeps us from healing

- How Jesus meets us in grief without asking us to rank our pain first

- What it means to notice what still remains, even in loss

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." — Revelation 21:4 (NIV)

Also referenced: Matthew 5:4

"Even If" by MercyMe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6fA35Ved-Y

Grief has a way of pulling our attention to what's missing — the dreams that didn't come true, the life we thought we'd have. But even there, something still remains. God's love remains. His presence remains. His promises and His faithfulness remain. The dream may have changed, but He never did. This week, when the loss feels loud, come back to this one word and ask: what still remains?

What still remains in your life, even in the middle of what you've lost?

- Joy Even Here (Substack) — melissajw74.substack.com

• Ambiguous loss: when closure doesn’t exist | Connect Magazine
• Chronic Illness and Ambiguous Loss | Psychology Today

Your story isn't over.

God can still bring purpose to your pain.

And even here, joy still remains.

Mentioned in this episode:

A Quick Favor

"I'm looking for 3-5 women to hop on a short, no-pressure 15-minute call with me, just to hear a little about your journey with chronic illness, grief, or a hard season, and the words you would use to describe it. No catches, no upsells, just me wanting to understand my listeners better so I can serve you well. As a thank-you, I will send you my free faith quiz, "What Is God Growing in Your Life Right Now?" If you're willing, just send me a DM on Instagram and I will set up a time that works for you."

A conversation about faithful friendship, miscarriage, grief, fear, and the quiet power of simply being present.

What does it look like to love someone through suffering when you can't fix what's broken?

In this deeply personal episode of Joy in Suffering, Melissa is joined by her lifelong friend, Carrie Barresi, whose friendship has spanned more than forty years. Together they reflect on growing up together, navigating chronic illness, walking through miscarriage and the loss of a parent, and discovering that some of the greatest acts of love aren't found in having the right words—but in faithfully showing up.

Carrie shares how watching Melissa's lifelong health journey shaped her own faith, the loneliness she experienced after multiple miscarriages, and how Psalm 23 became an anchor during the devastating loss of her mother. Melissa and Carrie also discuss the well-meaning comments that often hurt those who are grieving, why grief is never linear, and how God's presence meets us in every valley.

Whether you're walking through suffering yourself or wondering how to support someone you love, this conversation offers hope, wisdom, and practical encouragement for the journey.

• How a friendship of more than forty years has shaped both Melissa's and Carrie's faith
• Loving someone through chronic illness when you can't fix their pain
• The hidden grief of miscarriage and why people often don't know what to say
• Losing a parent and finding peace through Psalm 23
• Why grief isn't something we simply "get over"
• Common phrases that unintentionally wound people who are suffering
• Learning to surrender fear instead of trying to control the future
• Why faithful presence is often the greatest gift we can offer
• What "just showing up" really looks like in everyday life

Psalm 23 (NIV)

Carrie shares how this familiar psalm became a lifeline during the loss of her mother and continues to bring peace whenever fear begins to rise.

Be Not Afraid – John Michael Talbot

A beautiful reminder that God walks beside us through every valley and every fear

Sometimes the greatest ministry isn't finding the perfect words.

It's showing up.

God's presence changes us—and our presence can become one of His greatest gifts to someone who is hurting.

Who in your life needs your presence more than your answers this week?

What would it look like to simply reach out, listen well, and remind them they're loved?

• Bearing the Unbearable – Joanne Cacciatore
• Faith Over Fear: Trusting God Through Life's Uncertainties –(Featuring a chapter by Melissa Winters)
• The Courage to Say Yes –(Featuring a chapter by Melissa Winters)

If this episode encouraged you, I'd love to continue walking this journey with you.

Subscribe to the newsletter on Substack for monthly encouragement, Scripture, and reflections for women navigating chronic illness, grief, and hard seasons.

If someone came to mind while listening, would you share this episode with them?

Sometimes the greatest encouragement begins with one simple act of showing up

Mentioned in this episode:

A Quick Favor

"I'm looking for 3-5 women to hop on a short, no-pressure 15-minute call with me, just to hear a little about your journey with chronic illness, grief, or a hard season, and the words you would use to describe it. No catches, no upsells, just me wanting to understand my listeners better so I can serve you well. As a thank-you, I will send you my free faith quiz, "What Is God Growing in Your Life Right Now?" If you're willing, just send me a DM on Instagram and I will set up a time that works for you."

A Christian podcast on chronic illness, fatherhood, and faith in suffering

In this episode, we're talking about what it looks like for a father to love his daughter through a lifetime of chronic illness. If you've been walking through chronic illness, caregiving, or wondering where God is in the hard seasons, this conversation will encourage you to find hope even when nothing seems to be getting better.

• What it was like for my dad to watch me suffer and not be able to fix it
• How our family moved across the country more than once searching for healing
• The moment my dad's faith was tested most — and how it came back stronger

Proverbs 3:5-6 — Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Romans 5:3-5 — We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

My Little Girl — Tim McGraw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZVsGVE1qCg

Through every move, every setback, and every moment faith was tested, what carried this family through was faithfulness — both God's faithfulness to never leave, and the faithfulness it takes to keep showing up for someone you love even when you can't fix their pain.

The Courage to Say Yes — a collaboration book I'm honored to be a part of, releasing June 18th. Want a signed copy? DM me! Otherwise you can grab it on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0d4rUZNf

If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it — whether that's a woman walking through chronic illness or someone who loves her. And be sure to follow the podcast so you don't miss what's coming next in the View from the Valley series.

Your story isn't over.

Your pain has purpose.

And somehow… even here… joy can still grow.

JOY IN SUFFERING: WHERE FAITH MEETS THE HARD PLACES

BONUS EPISODE CONTENT — THE COURAGE TO SAY YES

A Christian author shares how saying yes to God in the middle of suffering led to something beautiful

In this bonus episode, I'm stepping away from our usual format to share something personal — a surprise I have been holding close to my heart. If you have ever felt God nudging you toward something that felt too hard, too vulnerable, or just too much for the season you were in, this short episode is for you. Sometimes the most meaningful yes comes right in the middle of our hardest no.

— The personal announcement I have been waiting to share with you

— What it looked like to say yes to God during a hard season

— How this project connects to everything this podcast is about

— A special invitation just for you

Proverbs 3:5-6 — "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

"The Light Through the Window" — original music created for Joy in Suffering: Where Faith Meets the Hard Places

Listen here: https://suno.com/s/SZAw3sWPQ2JNggiP

Faithfulness is not just a word we use to describe God — though He is faithful beyond what we can comprehend. It is also the quiet, steady choice we make to keep showing up, keep trusting, and keep saying yes to Him even when the process is hard. This month we are sitting with faithfulness — His toward us, and ours toward Him.

Is there something God has been asking you to say yes to that you have been putting off? What would it look like to trust Him with just one small step today?

The Courage to Say Yes — Collaboration Book

I am so excited to share that I am a contributing author in this brand new book releasing June 18th!

Want a personally signed copy with a handwritten inscription just for you?

Simply reply to any of my emails at encouragement@melissajwinters.com and I will get one to you!

If this episode encouraged you, be sure to follow the podcast so you don't miss what's coming next.

💛 Your story isn't over.

Your pain has purpose.

And somehow… even here… joy can still grow.

A sister's story of faith, chronic illness, and finding joy in suffering

In this episode, we're talking about what it means to love someone through chronic illness — not as a caregiver, but as the person who simply stays. If you've been walking through a long season of suffering, or if you love someone who has, this conversation will remind you that you are not alone, and that joy can still be found even in the hardest places.

How chronic illness reshapes an entire family — not just the person who is sick

What it means to walk through your own valleys while loving someone else through theirs

How music, faith, and showing up without answers can be the most powerful gifts we give

Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act."

Galatians 6:2

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

"Standing Outside the Fire" — Garth Brooks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_gOHxKqh4s

"Wonder" — Natalie Merchant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K5pBPAJqEo

Surrender

Surrender isn't giving up. It's trusting that God is already in the room.

Is there someone in your life right now who needs you to simply show up — not with answers, but just with your presence? And if you are the one suffering, is there someone you could let in this week?

Faith Over Fear: Trusting God Through Life's Uncertainties — collaboration book featuring Melissa Winters (available now)

The Courage to Say Yes — collaboration book featuring Melissa Winters (COMING JUNE 2026)

Connect with Jenny:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jenny.winters.3597

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennylzim

If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it — whether that's a woman walking through chronic illness or someone who loves her. And be sure to follow the podcast so you don't miss what's coming next in the View from the Valley series. 🌊

Your story isn't over.

Your pain has purpose.

And somehow… even here… joy can still grow.

Subtitle (SEO Boost): A Christian podcast on chronic illness, caregiving, faith, and hope in suffering

💛 Episode Summary:

In this episode, we're talking about loving someone through chronic illness, navigating suffering through faith, and finding joy even in the hardest seasons.

If you've been walking through chronic illness, caregiving, grief, or emotional exhaustion, this conversation will encourage you to hold onto hope, trust God's plan, and remember — you are never walking through suffering alone.

🌿 In this conversation, we talk about:

• What it's really like to love someone through years of chronic illness
• The emotional weight caregivers quietly carry — and rarely talk about
• How faith anchored both a mother and daughter through uncertain seasons
• Learning to surrender what we simply cannot control
• Finding joy and a deeper closeness to God even in the middle of suffering

📖 Scripture:

• Psalm 34:18 (NIV) — "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

• Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) —"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

🎶 Songs Mentioned:

• Hold On to Me — Lauren Daigle-
• https://youtu.be/FQbt9ADhCJc?si=ielOU3KAGbz_bvPa

• Rest For My Soul — Austin French-
• https://youtu.be/AAYt88GIZSs?si=WvAm5cFx2IeBtVP

• You and Me Against the World — Helen Reddy-
• https://youtu.be/gWA8QpqFlIQ?si=HB7yDVs9p-kgiFCL

One song my mom and I kept coming back to through the years was You and Me Against the World by Helen Reddy. It said something we didn't always have words for — the closeness, the love, the resilience we carried together through so many hard seasons. If you know it, you'll understand why.

✨ Word of the Month: Surrender

Sometimes surrender isn't giving up — it's trusting God with what we cannot control.

This conversation became something more than I expected. Hearing my mom's side of our story gave me a deeper understanding of faith, love, suffering, and the quiet strength that's been carried through our most difficult seasons. I hope it does the same for you.

💭 Reflection Question:

What would it look like to surrender the season you're walking through to God — instead of trying to carry it all alone?

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

• A View From the Valley — the series this episode is part of. Stay tuned for the next conversations in this series as we hear from more of the people who walked closest through my valley.

🎧 Listen & Subscribe:

If this episode encouraged you, be sure to follow the podcast so you don't miss what's coming next. New episodes drop every other Wednesday — with some bonus solo encouragement episodes in between. 💛

💛 Signature Truth:

Your story isn't over. Your pain has purpose. And somehow… even here… joy can still grow.