Just show Up: Loving Someone Through Chronic Illness and Grief
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A conversation about faithful friendship, miscarriage, grief, fear, and the quiet power of simply being present.
Episode SummaryWhat does it look like to love someone through suffering when you can't fix what's broken?
In this deeply personal episode of Joy in Suffering, Melissa is joined by her lifelong friend, Carrie Barresi, whose friendship has spanned more than forty years. Together they reflect on growing up together, navigating chronic illness, walking through miscarriage and the loss of a parent, and discovering that some of the greatest acts of love aren't found in having the right words—but in faithfully showing up.
Carrie shares how watching Melissa's lifelong health journey shaped her own faith, the loneliness she experienced after multiple miscarriages, and how Psalm 23 became an anchor during the devastating loss of her mother. Melissa and Carrie also discuss the well-meaning comments that often hurt those who are grieving, why grief is never linear, and how God's presence meets us in every valley.
Whether you're walking through suffering yourself or wondering how to support someone you love, this conversation offers hope, wisdom, and practical encouragement for the journey.
In This Episode- How a friendship of more than forty years has shaped both Melissa's and Carrie's faith
- Loving someone through chronic illness when you can't fix their pain
- The hidden grief of miscarriage and why people often don't know what to say
- Losing a parent and finding peace through Psalm 23
- Why grief isn't something we simply "get over"
- Common phrases that unintentionally wound people who are suffering
- Learning to surrender fear instead of trying to control the future
- Why faithful presence is often the greatest gift we can offer
- What "just showing up" really looks like in everyday life
Scripture for the Season
Psalm 23 (NIV)
"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing..."Carrie shares how this familiar psalm became a lifeline during the loss of her mother and continues to bring peace whenever fear begins to rise.
Song for the SeasonBe Not Afraid – John Michael Talbot
A beautiful reminder that God walks beside us through every valley and every fear
Word of the MonthPresenceSometimes the greatest ministry isn't finding the perfect words.
It's showing up.
God's presence changes us—and our presence can become one of His greatest gifts to someone who is hurting.
Reflection QuestionWho in your life needs your presence more than your answers this week?
What would it look like to simply reach out, listen well, and remind them they're loved?
Resources Mentioned- Bearing the Unbearable – Joanne Cacciatore
- Faith Over Fear: Trusting God Through Life's Uncertainties –(Featuring a chapter by Melissa Winters)
- The Courage to Say Yes –(Featuring a chapter by Melissa Winters)
Connect with Melissa
If this episode encouraged you, I'd love to continue walking this journey with you.
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Share This EpisodeIf someone came to mind while listening, would you share this episode with them?
Sometimes the greatest encouragement begins with one simple act of showing up
Mentioned in this episode:
A Quick Favor
"I'm looking for 3-5 women to hop on a short, no-pressure 15-minute call with me, just to hear a little about your journey with chronic illness, grief, or a hard season, and the words you would use to describe it. No catches, no upsells, just me wanting to understand my listeners better so I can serve you well. As a thank-you, I will send you my free faith quiz, "What Is God Growing in Your Life Right Now?" If you're willing, just send me a DM on Instagram and I will set up a time that works for you."