A conversation on faith, chronic caregiving, grief, and trusting God when prayers aren't answered the way we hoped

What happens when life asks you to carry more than you ever imagined? This week I'm joined by Paula Romang — wife, mother, Bible study and devotional writer, and a woman whose faith was refined through years of caregiving and profound loss. Paula's son Matthew lived with severe special needs and passed away at age twelve, and in this conversation she shares what it actually looked like to trust God on the days trust didn't feel like a given. If you're walking through chronic illness, grief, or caregiving, this one is for you.

- What "choosing faith over feelings" looked like in the daily, unglamorous grind of caregiving — no warm fuzzy feelings required

- The specific lies suffering tempted Paula to believe about her worth, and the truth from Scripture she returned to instead

- How immersing herself in God's Word and prayer became the lifeline that carried her through Matthew's twelve years and beyond

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." — Deuteronomy 33:27 (NIV)

Isaiah 40–41 [13:40];

Psalm 147:3-4 [14:11];

Isaiah 57:15 [14:44];

Matthew 11:28-30 [19:33]

- It Is Well With My Soul — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QUqo37M0wM

- All the Way My Savior Leads Me — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEOtFEs0Jos

- Praise You in This Storm, Casting Crowns — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YUGwUgBvTU

- Oceans (Where Feet May Fail), Hillsong UNITED — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI-Z0lq-LIE

- Goodness of God, CeCe Winans — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sE5kEnitqE

Trust isn't a feeling you wait around for — it's a choice you make, over and over, to believe God is who He says He is, even when your circumstances say otherwise. This week, may you choose trust — not because it's easy, but because He's already proven He's worthy of it.

Where in your life is God asking you to trust Him even though the outcome doesn't look the way you hoped it would?

- Paula's book, Thriving in the Barren Place: How Trust in God Fueled My Journey Through Heartache and Loss — https://www.amazon.com/Thriving-Barren-Place-Journey-Heartache/dp/B0FCTWBHSX

- Paula's website — www.paularomang.com

- Paula on Facebook — Paula Romang

- Paula on Instagram — @promang869

- Paula on YouTube — Paula Romang

Your story isn't over.

God can bring purpose to your pain

And somehow- even here- joy still remains.

Mentioned in this episode:

A Quick Favor

"I'm looking for 3-5 women to hop on a short, no-pressure 15-minute call with me, just to hear a little about your journey with chronic illness, grief, or a hard season, and the words you would use to describe it. No catches, no upsells, just me wanting to understand my listeners better so I can serve you well. As a thank-you, I will send you my free faith quiz, "What Is God Growing in Your Life Right Now?" If you're willing, just send me a DM on Instagram and I will set up a time that works for you."

A solo episode on grief, chronic illness, and the dreams that never came to be

Sometimes grief isn't about losing a person — it's about losing a version of your life. In this solo episode, Melissa opens up about a kind of grief that rarely gets talked about: the grief of the future you quietly imagined but never got to live. From navigating chronic illness to the long, tender grief of never becoming a mother, Melissa shares how she learned this loss had a name — and how Scripture met her in it. If you've ever wondered whether you're even allowed to grieve a life you never had, this episode is for you.

- What "non-finite" or ambiguous grief is, and why it so often goes unrecognized

- Melissa's own story of chronic illness, the loss of five years of her life, and the long grief of not becoming a mother

- Why grief isn't a competition, and why comparing losses only keeps us from healing

- How Jesus meets us in grief without asking us to rank our pain first

- What it means to notice what still remains, even in loss

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." — Revelation 21:4 (NIV)

Also referenced: Matthew 5:4

"Even If" by MercyMe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6fA35Ved-Y

Grief has a way of pulling our attention to what's missing — the dreams that didn't come true, the life we thought we'd have. But even there, something still remains. God's love remains. His presence remains. His promises and His faithfulness remain. The dream may have changed, but He never did. This week, when the loss feels loud, come back to this one word and ask: what still remains?

What still remains in your life, even in the middle of what you've lost?

- Joy Even Here (Substack) — melissajw74.substack.com

• Ambiguous loss: when closure doesn’t exist | Connect Magazine
• Chronic Illness and Ambiguous Loss | Psychology Today

Your story isn't over.

God can still bring purpose to your pain.

And even here, joy still remains.

Mentioned in this episode:

A Quick Favor

"I'm looking for 3-5 women to hop on a short, no-pressure 15-minute call with me, just to hear a little about your journey with chronic illness, grief, or a hard season, and the words you would use to describe it. No catches, no upsells, just me wanting to understand my listeners better so I can serve you well. As a thank-you, I will send you my free faith quiz, "What Is God Growing in Your Life Right Now?" If you're willing, just send me a DM on Instagram and I will set up a time that works for you."

A conversation about faithful friendship, miscarriage, grief, fear, and the quiet power of simply being present.

What does it look like to love someone through suffering when you can't fix what's broken?

In this deeply personal episode of Joy in Suffering, Melissa is joined by her lifelong friend, Carrie Barresi, whose friendship has spanned more than forty years. Together they reflect on growing up together, navigating chronic illness, walking through miscarriage and the loss of a parent, and discovering that some of the greatest acts of love aren't found in having the right words—but in faithfully showing up.

Carrie shares how watching Melissa's lifelong health journey shaped her own faith, the loneliness she experienced after multiple miscarriages, and how Psalm 23 became an anchor during the devastating loss of her mother. Melissa and Carrie also discuss the well-meaning comments that often hurt those who are grieving, why grief is never linear, and how God's presence meets us in every valley.

Whether you're walking through suffering yourself or wondering how to support someone you love, this conversation offers hope, wisdom, and practical encouragement for the journey.

• How a friendship of more than forty years has shaped both Melissa's and Carrie's faith
• Loving someone through chronic illness when you can't fix their pain
• The hidden grief of miscarriage and why people often don't know what to say
• Losing a parent and finding peace through Psalm 23
• Why grief isn't something we simply "get over"
• Common phrases that unintentionally wound people who are suffering
• Learning to surrender fear instead of trying to control the future
• Why faithful presence is often the greatest gift we can offer
• What "just showing up" really looks like in everyday life

Psalm 23 (NIV)

Carrie shares how this familiar psalm became a lifeline during the loss of her mother and continues to bring peace whenever fear begins to rise.

Be Not Afraid – John Michael Talbot

A beautiful reminder that God walks beside us through every valley and every fear

Sometimes the greatest ministry isn't finding the perfect words.

It's showing up.

God's presence changes us—and our presence can become one of His greatest gifts to someone who is hurting.

Who in your life needs your presence more than your answers this week?

What would it look like to simply reach out, listen well, and remind them they're loved?

• Bearing the Unbearable – Joanne Cacciatore
• Faith Over Fear: Trusting God Through Life's Uncertainties –(Featuring a chapter by Melissa Winters)
• The Courage to Say Yes –(Featuring a chapter by Melissa Winters)

If this episode encouraged you, I'd love to continue walking this journey with you.

Subscribe to the newsletter on Substack for monthly encouragement, Scripture, and reflections for women navigating chronic illness, grief, and hard seasons.

If someone came to mind while listening, would you share this episode with them?

Sometimes the greatest encouragement begins with one simple act of showing up

Mentioned in this episode:

A Quick Favor

"I'm looking for 3-5 women to hop on a short, no-pressure 15-minute call with me, just to hear a little about your journey with chronic illness, grief, or a hard season, and the words you would use to describe it. No catches, no upsells, just me wanting to understand my listeners better so I can serve you well. As a thank-you, I will send you my free faith quiz, "What Is God Growing in Your Life Right Now?" If you're willing, just send me a DM on Instagram and I will set up a time that works for you."