I met Heidi in 2021 while attending church in Provo. We were both students at Brigham Young University at the time, and somehow we began talking. One of us had mentioned losing our mom and that sparked a friendship, connection, and ongoing conversation. We haven’t lived in the same area since then, but I did run into her in 2024. Although we don’t live in the same area anymore (I’m in Virginia, she’s in Utah), we were able to do a virtual meeting earlier this February.

Heidi lost her mom when she was 19. Her mom had had a tumor on her pancreas when Heidi was only 9. There was a period of remission, however the cancer came back towards the end of the 4th or 5th year. Hearing the details of her story was heart wrenching and also meaningful. She was candid about loss—the ups and downs and everything in between. Overall, a lovely interaction and dialogue!

Here are some of the topics we explored as I talked with Heidi:

• The camaraderie and strength that comes with meeting others who have also lost a loved one

• Avoiding grief as a way of coping

• Denial—when the loved one’s physical decline is gradual and painful and how it can be hard to face reality

• What it’s like to become a mother figure (of sorts) to younger siblings when after a mom’s passing

• Coming together and mourning as a family—being sustained and comforted through close relationships

• The power of listening when a person is grieving

• How Heidi finds purpose in her job and other hobbies, such as exercise

• “It’s okay to be sad when these things happen. But it’s also okay to… move on with your life and… get over it in a way.”