In this episode of Intersecting Voices, I sit down with Natalie Collins, writer, speaker, activist, and creator of the Own My Life course — a ground-breaking programme that helps women make sense of and recover from abuse.
We dive deep into coercive control, an often invisible form of domestic abuse that affects millions of women. This isn’t just about violence — it’s about emotional, psychological, financial, and sexual control that slowly isolates and breaks down a person’s sense of self.
Together, we explore why it’s so difficult for victims to leave abusive relationships — looking at traumatic bonding, cognitive dissonance, isolation, financial control, and the failure of systems that are supposed to protect. We also explore the societal myths that tell us controlling behaviour is “romantic,” the generational trauma that can condition us to accept abuse, and how abusers often exploit our deepest insecurities.
I also share my own personal journey — from not recognising the abuse I experienced to understanding the dynamics at play in my own life. Abuse doesn’t have one face. There is no single type of victim or perpetrator. It can happen to anyone, and understanding why it happens is the first step toward healing.
This episode is for you if:
You suspect you might be or have been in an abusive relationship
You’re struggling to understand why someone you loved treated you this way
You want to know why it was so hard to leave — and why that’s not your fault
You’re seeking clarity, connection, and peace with your story
You want to support someone you love who may be experiencing abuse
You want to learn what a healthy relationship truly looks like
We talk about:
How coercive control works and what it looks like
How abuse affects your brain, your reality, and your sense of self
Why society still doesn't understand abuse — and how that causes more harm
What systems should do better to support victims and children
The healing power of knowledge, community, and self-compassion
How the Own My Life course helps women rebuild their identity after abuse
Natalie also shares the growth of Own My Life, how it’s helping women across the UK and internationally, and what we can all do to support this vital work.
📌 Trigger warning: This episode contains discussions of domestic abuse, coercive control, and sexual trauma.
🌍 To learn more about the Own My Life course, visit: ownmylifecourse.org
💜 You are not alone. This episode may help you name what happened, begin to make sense of it, and take one step closer to freedom.
Visit my website to catch up on past episodes, dive into my writing, or reach out for collaborations: https://theintersectionalhub.com