It’s a jungle out there for functional neurotics looking for love. Dating demands you bring your best self to the table, but what truths do we disguise in our effort to make ourselves more appealing and palatable to others?

Coming up, we explore:

• What it means to be passionate and intense when men want laid back and easy going
• Going with your gut when a dynamic doesn’t feel right
• Why it feels risky to put your big-feelings on display too soon
• And why it’s alright to be an acquired taste

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

Do you routinely cut yourself off from feeling? Do you bristle at the act of having to perform a “work-friendly” version of yourself? There are many ways we compartmentalise ourselves and our emotions.

Coming up, we explore:

• The themes of Severance, and what they mean for authenticity and emotional truth
• Taking a break from the “performance of identity”
• Emotional pain avoidance and why its not a workable strategy
• And the healing power of feeling in concert with others

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

—

Collective Illusions: Conformity, Complicity and the Science of Why We Make Bad Decisions (book by Todd Rose)

https://www.amazon.com.au/Collective-Illusions-Conformity-Complicity-Decisions/dp/0306925680

Severance (TV series directed by Ben Stiller)

The Substance (film directed by Coralie Fargeat)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Substance

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (film directed by Michel Gondry)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_Sunshine_of_the_Spotless_Mind

“Emotions are like children - You don't want them driving the car, but you shouldn't stuff them in the trunk either."

Are you an expert at the sulk and serving up the silent treatment? It can be hard enough managing our own big feelings but what about when we need to let our loved ones in on our emotional chaos in a way that won’t leave them running for the hills?

In this ep, we chat about:

• Pre-gaming emotional tiffs before they blow out
• Growing out of the allure of the soulmate and having grown-up conversations
• Sharing observations, feelings and stating what we need in our relationships
• And what happens when we say what we want, but we still don’t get it

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

—

Essays In Love - Alain de Botton (Book)

Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication - Oren J. Sofer (Book)

Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

We finish off our two-parter on overthinking and take a deep dive into the emotions we’re ignoring when we retreat into rumination.

We explore:

• Whether complex emotions are the culprits luring us into overthinking
• Why “why” is a fraught question to ask ourselves when we’re feeling vulnerable
• How to get out of our heads and into our bodies with mindfulness-based inquiry
• And the challenge smart people face in stepping away from the intellectual into something more poetic and slippery

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

—

Reel: Gary from Connecticut, "We don’t need your “under-thinking” thoughts"

https://www.instagram.com/p/DGJMg0tRcKV/

Loving Kindness With Self-Compassion. Kristin Neff https://insig.ht/r7J9wfOY4Nb

Edie Brickell, Me By The Sea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XqoeyLwiX4

Overthinking is the plight of many of us big feelers - but if it leaves us feeling worse, why do we do it at all? and what might we do instead?

Coming up, we chat about:

• Greys Anatomy as a tool of emotional catharsis
• Whether rumination is the same as a compulsive behaviour
• The itchiness of emotionally-charged 2am thoughts
• How we can mindfully intervene when we’re lured by the siren song of overthinking

——

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

—

Article: Anger and Catharsis: Myth, Metaphor or Reality? [Psychology Today]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/evil-deeds/200909/anger-and-catharsis-myth-metaphor-or-reality

Book: You Are Not A Rock - Mark Freeman https://www.markfreeman.ca/books/

TV Series: Greys Anatomy https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0413573/

Movie: Freaky Friday

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0322330/

Article: Why Do I Get So Hot When I Sleep? [Sleep Foundation]

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-faqs/why-do-i-get-so-hot-when-i-sleep

Article: Elevated body temperature is associated with depressive symptoms: results from the TemPredict Study [Nature]

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-51567-w

When big feelings are a huge feature of your life, how do you understand the people in your life who experience their emotions in different ways? And how might we communicate better so they can understand the weird emotional ways we operate?

We chat about:

• Needing responsible role models of people who feel big feelings
• Questions to ask the non-neurotics in your life when you’re tearing your hair out wondering what’s going on for them
• The illusion of empathy and how making assumptions about other people’s emotional states can be a slippery slope
• Our desperation for resolution, and learning to sit with uncertainty

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

Being emotional is often synonymous with instability, drama and difficulty. How might we create a new narrative for emotionality that doesn't leave us branded as walking disasters?

Coming up, we dive into:

• Ash’s mindfulness spa experiment and how marathon training is like a meditation retreat
• People’s discomfort with your discomfort and the agony of being reminded “You Got This”
• Becoming emotionally bilingual with a partner whose love language involves spreadsheets
• Taking responsibility for our big feelings and exploring the quest to become more emotionally elegant

Show notes:

We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)

Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here:

https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv

You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok

Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com

Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/

Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop

Music by @nikitakarmen

We're often encouraged to "feel our feelings" as a route to healing and greater self-awareness, but what does it even mean? And exactly how does one go about it?

This episode explores:

• The difference between feelings and emotions
• How to tease apart physical vs emotional sensations
• Why sense-making gets in the way of us feeling feelings in our bodies
• Ash's dating life, and how it feels - literally
• And we leave you with a mini-challenge to try out in your own life, to work at becoming a better emotional connoisseur

Show notes:

“You Aren’t at the Mercy of Your Feelings—Your Brain Creates Them,” TED Talk by Lisa Feldman Barrett

“Mapping Emotions On The Body: Love Makes Us Warm All Over,” Michaeleen Doucleff, Dec. 30, 2013

100 Days of Rejection Therapy from Jia Jiang

Misattribution of Fear for Arousal (the scary bridge study), Dutton & Aron (1974) chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://sanlab.psych.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/31/2016/03/Dutton-Aron-1974-arousal.pdf

Follow along with Daron's guided exercise, Emotional Meteorology: https://daronlarson.substack.com/p/emotional-meteorology

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Follow Ash & Daron on IG: @ashking @daronlarson

Music by @nikitakarmen