Does "do not be afraid" mean you shouldn't feel fear? A Christian therapist explains the gap between feeling an emotion and acting on it.

Episode summary

Is it wrong to feel afraid, angry, or sad? And what does the Bible mean when it says "do not be afraid"? In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kia Gutiérrez explains the most important distinction in her approach to emotions: feeling an emotion and acting on it are two different things.

Kia introduces what she calls the gap between feeling and acting: a pause where you honestly acknowledge everything you feel, whether or not it makes sense, and then take time to read Scripture and discern what to do. Sometimes the gap lasts a second, and sometimes days, weeks, or even years.

Using her own fear about recording this very episode as an example, Kia shows how fear can point to a question about connection, whether your bond with God or other people will hold. She explores why "do not be afraid" in Scripture often shows up when God is calling someone to do something brave, which suggests it can't simply mean "don't feel fear." Reading the Bible in light of what its author meant, she argues, helps us avoid using Scripture to shut down an emotion God created, and leads to a deeper sense of closeness with Him.

You'll also hear why relearning how to feel and read Scripture can be scary (and why therapy can help), why the process is a productive mess instead of a chaotic one, and a closing question to take with you: Is it clear that feeling an emotion and acting on it two very different things?

Is the Bible a rulebook, a love letter, or something else? How you answer shapes what you do with your emotions.

Episode summary

Why does the Bible sometimes feel contradictory, uncomfortable, or hard to apply, especially when it comes to your feelings? In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kia Gutiérrez explores how to read Scripture, the Old and New Testament, in light of what its authors were trying to communicate.

Kia explains how the lens we bring to the Bible, whether a rulebook to follow or a love letter written to us, shapes the answers we find and what we decide to do with our emotions. She proposes reading the Bible as a written document from an ancient community, shaped by its cultural context and inspired by the Holy Spirit, using Genesis 1 as an example of asking what the author was actually saying.

She also draws a parallel between Scripture and emotions: both are tools with a specific purpose, and just as a hammer makes a poor saw, using either one in a way it wasn't designed for leads to struggle and disappointment. Along the way, you'll hear how relearning both can bring peace to the places that feel contradictory, and how to sort which emotions to act on and which to sit with, and which Scripture guides your life directly and which shapes the way you see the world.

You'll finish with a question to carry into your week: how does it feel to relearn how to read the Bible and how to feel your emotions?

I'm a therapist, and I swore off emotions at 19. Here's why I changed my mind, and what an emotion actually is.

Episode summary

What is an emotion? Christians hear very different answers. Some say emotions are spiritual forces, like angels or demons influencing you. Others say they're a weakness of the flesh that Scripture warns us not to trust.

In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kia Gutiérrez shares why she swore off emotions at 19 after a painful moment leading worship, and why, as someone who still isn't a big fan of feeling them, she believes feeling our emotions is the most efficient way to get rid of the feeling and make wise choices.

You'll hear her definition of an emotion at the intersection of faith and psychology: a chemical process in your body that has hugely significant spiritual meaning. It's not an attack imposed on us from outside, and it's not something to press down and ignore. Drawing on Genesis 1 and the idea that we're made in God's image, Kia explains why she believes there's a message in every emotion that points toward a foundational truth, one that helps us make wise decisions and build healthy relationships.

She also steers between two extremes: that every negative emotion is a spiritual attack and every positive one a blessing, or that emotions are terrible and should never be felt.

Then she leaves you with one question to sit with: how does it feel to know your emotions were given to you by God, with a purpose you get to discern?