Does "do not be afraid" mean you shouldn't feel fear? A Christian therapist explains the gap between feeling an emotion and acting on it.

Episode summary

Is it wrong to feel afraid, angry, or sad? And what does the Bible mean when it says "do not be afraid"? In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kia Gutiérrez explains the most important distinction in her approach to emotions: feeling an emotion and acting on it are two different things.

Kia introduces what she calls the gap between feeling and acting: a pause where you honestly acknowledge everything you feel, whether or not it makes sense, and then take time to read Scripture and discern what to do. Sometimes the gap lasts a second, and sometimes days, weeks, or even years.

Using her own fear about recording this very episode as an example, Kia shows how fear can point to a question about connection, whether your bond with God or other people will hold. She explores why "do not be afraid" in Scripture often shows up when God is calling someone to do something brave, which suggests it can't simply mean "don't feel fear." Reading the Bible in light of what its author meant, she argues, helps us avoid using Scripture to shut down an emotion God created, and leads to a deeper sense of closeness with Him.

You'll also hear why relearning how to feel and read Scripture can be scary (and why therapy can help), why the process is a productive mess instead of a chaotic one, and a closing question to take with you: Is it clear that feeling an emotion and acting on it two very different things?