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Just when I thought we’d peaked with snuggle-based heating (see Tape 10), Tape 11 drags us even deeper into the metaphysical swamp that is Bootstuck. Our slow-talking friend—last heard counting snowflakes by the bucket in Tape 6—calls Dave (still wrapped in lights, I presume) from what he claims is a burnt-out Dodge. No explanation. No coordinates. Just the soothing, molasses-paced chaos of Bootstuck, as usual.

We’re also treated to a brief geography lesson featuring nearby "towns" with names like OverThere, Downaways, and Yonder—which feel less like actual places and more like shrugs wearing road signs. Add to that the revelation of pills designed to improve your verb usage if taken anally, and we’re fully back in the realm of unsettling backwoods surrealism.

This tape collection continues to toe the line between hoax, hallucination, and anthropological goldmine. I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop. Something about Bootstuck refuses to let go.

And then comes Tape 12...
The Bootstuck Fair.
God help us all.

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This tape gives us a rare seasonal snapshot: winter in Bootstuck. And, true to form, it’s not exactly what you’d call conventional. Dave is apparently wrapped in Christmas lights—possibly by accident, possibly as a coping mechanism—and the others decide to just leave him like that. As a display. A living, blinking reminder that Bootstuck celebrates the holidays... differently.

We’re also introduced to Caleb, the town’s unofficial lumberjack. He chops and stacks wood around the township like a festive squirrel—but here’s the twist: they don’t burn it. Not for warmth, anyway.

Instead, Bootstuck relies on a woman named Rita. Described as heavyset and—let’s say—generously cozy, she arrives during the cold months to provide communal body heat via prolonged snuggling. This is apparently the primary method of winter survival.

At this point, I can’t help but feel like I’m being pranked by a very elaborate, very rural performance art piece.

I just want one tape that explains anything.

www.bootstuck.com

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Tape 9—or at least what’s left of it—is mostly static, warped and broken. But somewhere in the noise, a voice punches through, crackling out what sounds like call letters: "JEAN." Maybe it's just interference, maybe I'm reading too much into it—but it feels intentional. And in Bootstuck, that’s enough to set my mind racing.

Once the tape settles, we’re back to familiar chaos. Our host and Hat Guy recount a baffling trip to the local Costco knockoff—Costdown—where he somehow buys a half pair of boots. A new name, Willy, is mentioned in passing, nudging Bootstuck’s known population up by one... though the average IQ might be trending downward, especially with glowing reviews of the town’s Applebee’s.

They have an Applebee's?

The tape ends on a strange, almost deliberate note. But by now, cryptic endings are just part of the scenery.

The deeper we dig, the weirder it gets.

www.bootstuck.com