IN THIS EPISODE: It was hard enough that DONNA HALL grew up in a lower tier TRUE CRIME FAMILY where the adults committed one crime or another almost every day. But Donna also grew up feeling deep down inside that SHE DIDN'T BELONG. She learned when she was 40, that she was right: she didn't belong: her actual biological dad was a sperm donor and none of the various men her mom Phyllis told her was her dad. But, the truth wouldn't come until much later. As a kid, Donna would have to figure out for herself how to find safety.

SHOW NOTES

Families can be like icebergs. They seem kind of harmless on the surface. Underneath however? They're massive monsters, always lurking, threatening to rip your guts out. My family was complicated because my mom Phyllis was incapable of sexual fidelity. Something inside her just couldn't tolerate being "loyal" that way. And, so, there were always new and different men coming into and out of our lives as I grew up. My siblings have different fathers.

For the first 12 years of my life, I thought a man named Frank was my father. And though he sexually abused me, I still related to him as "daddy". When Phyllis decided to leave Frank for another man (Miguel), I wanted to stay with Frank despite the sexual abuse. Because, I thought, he was my dad.

As we drove away that night, my mom disabused me of that idea. "He's not your real father anyway," she told me.

As time went on - and I tried to find out who really was my biological father - a few more "suspects" appeared and disappeared. I thought I knew who my dad was when, at 40, I took a 23AndMe DNA test - not expecting any surprises. Not only did I find my actual biological father (well, I found out who he was/is), I found a whole family of donor conceived siblings - "diblings"!

And, can I tell you? It's truly wonderful feeling like you do belong to a family!

Donna Hall

The Hall Closet is written by Donna Hall and A L Katz. Costard & Touchstone Productions produced it. Donna Hall and A L Katz are the executive producers.

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS

The Hall Closet is not intended for sensitive audiences. Domestic and sexual abuse, violence, child endangerment, adultery, explicit language.

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