High performance can come with hidden costs.

In this conversation, the Work Besties, Jess and Claude chat with therapist Laurel VanDerToorn, who explains why trauma and burnout can hit high achievers hard—and what real, sustainable recovery looks like. We dig into the early signs (brain fog, fatigue, cynicism), why “just take a vacation” misses the mark, and how small, repeatable behaviors compound into resilience. Laurel shares her four-layer approach—physical health → behavioral routines → deep relationships → values alignment—plus boundary-setting scripts, the Four D’s (Do, Date, Delegate, Delete), and how to protect your nervous system in 24/7 work cultures. If you’ve been feeling crispy, this one’s for you.

Key Takeaways

• High achievers face unique pressures and a heightened need for privacy.
• Vacations are a band-aid; sustainable recovery needs system-level changes.
• Catch the early signs: fatigue, brain fog, aches, rising cynicism.
• Start with small behaviors (sleep, nutrition, movement, phone hygiene).
• Physical health checks (labs, thyroid/iron) can rule out confounders.
• Relationships (yes, work besties) buffer burnout.
• Boundaries and delegation reduce overload.
• Align daily actions with personal values to lower burnout risk.
• Protect your nervous system with on-ramps/off-ramps to the workday.

Contact Laurel VanDer Toorn via her website

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Work Besties! Theme Song Written by Ralph Lentini @therallyband