We want to belong. We want to belong with all our friends and our community.

Our friends are having a drink, and we wanna belong so we take the drink, even though we know that we’re gonna struggle to wake up in the morning. Or we eat the sugary treat because someone made it for us, but it’s gonna give us a headache an hour later.

How can you participate in treats and feel the group celebration without diminishing your connection to yourself?

This is the discussion we have on the podcast today as I continue my discussion with Dawn Larson (a therapist) and Amy (a 12-Step participant).

Resources

Here’s a link to my Sober January podcast episode last year.

One of my clients wrote a book about their journey with sobriety and I had the privilege of coaching during the writing of that project.

Visit the show notes here.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

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How does your sobriety–or lack thereof–impact your relationship?

Emotions are a huge part of relationship. When you’re able to be sober with your emotions, your honesty and vulnerability cultivate trust and connection grows.

We turn to addictions when we’re uncomfortable with our emotions. We want to hide from them or numb out. So you eat a quart of ice cream or you down a 6-pack of beer. Your addiction confuses your emotional state. You’re unable to be honest and alienation is fostered, trust is undermined, and your relationship connection weakens.

In this episode, I speak with Dawn Larson (a therapist) and Amy (a 12-Step member). We investigate the various ways to define our own sobriety. You’ll hear us discuss eating, binging and a host of other addictions, but what we’re in search of is a definition of sobriety.

Resources

In the episode Dawn mentions The Heart of Recovery approach to healing. Here is a link to a discussion about that approach.

Here’s a link to my Sober January podcast episode last year.

One of my clients wrote a book about their journey with sobriety and I had the privilege of coaching during the writing of that project.

Visit the show notes here.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

Follow me on Tik Tok.

Reach me at 970-210-4480

What’s your favorite meal? What was your favorite way to play outside as a kid? What does your favorite memory smell like?

These are questions that are part of the culture in my house. When my kids were growing up, I asked about their favorite moment of the day, their favorite interaction with a friend, or their favorite moment to be away from me (this question was born during the teenage years).

I ask about favorites because it’s so easy to complain, to focus on the negative, or to harbor resentments and focus on injustice. I knew I was going to be that small voice in the back of my kids’ mind for decades to come. I wanted that voice to be about seeing the good stuff.

Today, I give you 52 ways to ask, “What’s your favorite?”

1. I designed this episode to be used on road trips. Listen to me ask the favorite’s question, pause the podcast, and go around the circle with answers.
2. There are no rules. Your conversation will get diverted. That’s great!
3. The Favorites Game will always be here for you, if and when your conversation slows down and you want another favorite prompt from me. I hope you enjoy playing the game as much as my family does.

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to play the game with someone you love, someone brand new, or someone with whom you don’t know what else to talk about.

In the episode, I ask you 52 “What’s your favorite?” questions. Listen and pause after each question to give your answers.

If you'd like to purchase your own deck of "What's Your Favorite" cards, text me at 970-210-4480 and let me know you're interested. I've just designed them and I'd love to get you a deck of your own.

Date Night Discussion

I’m going to invite you to talk about what creates preference. What makes something your favorite?

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The holidays can be a time of high stress. What if a tiny pause could help you respond thoughtfully instead of reacting to the stress, so you can cultivate connection instead of pushing your partner away?

Today, we talk about the power of the pause and why it's so important at this particular time of year. I’ve brought back clips from previous guests to offer you three perspectives on why pausing can be so powerful for your relationship:

1. You'll hear from Chantel Landeros, who talks about the 90-second pause in any kind of conflict
2. You'll hear from Kate, who talks pausing to examine your energy when it comes to invitations
3. And you’ll hear from Mary Beth Luedtke, who invites us to pause and identify the trigger from our past that is impacting us in the present moment

Visit the show notes here.

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This bonus episode of Habits for Your Happily Ever After is a reminder to find what's funny as you're heading home for the holidays. When you can be the one who brings laughter to the room, you can put the "fun" in dysfunction.

You'll hear a segment from my interview with my son, Logan, and how his superpower is being able to laugh no matter how a conflict goes.

Listen to this week's episode for more ideas on how to put the "fun" in dysfunction this holiday season.

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Your mom slays you in that way that only she can and says, “Oh, I see you’ve julienned the carrots when I asked for slices.”

For you, it might not be your mom. But I bet there’s someone in your family of origin who makes you feel … less than.

Today, I’ve got a few games for you to play during this holiday season as you visit your family. I have 4 intentions with today’s episode:

1. My hope is that these games will keep you laughing instead of crying so that…
2. Your relationship with your relatives gets stronger instead of more distant because…
3. There is a particular feeling of belonging that only comes from those people who knew you when you were itty bitty.
4. But we also know that those are the people who can DRIVE YOU CRAZY like no one else. So it might take a special mindful effort to maintain or grow those relationships. Especially, as you integrate your partner into your family of origin.

You can download my holiday bingo template here.

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after has 4 steps:

1. Be in charge of yourself: your own body, mind, and spirit. If you’re struggling with this, listen to my episode from a couple weeks ago about loving the person who votes differently from you. You can calm your body with the right tools.
2. Laugh. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at your relatives. Invite your relatives to laugh at the whole mess.
3. Come to the party ready to spread some joy. Shout out anything that might make the room of people you’re with a little happier.
4. Have compassion. Go looking for the capacity genius in each of your relatives. When you find their unique capacity, it will be a little easier to forgive them for having so little capacity to manage their own emotions or behaviors.

Date Night Discussion

It’s important to give your partner perspective on how they regress when they visit their family of origin. And to normalize that rather than pathologize it. We all regress a little. We fall into habits from our childhood.

How can you laugh about these regressions rather than getting frustrated? How can you remind yourself that you don’t live with the version of yourself that your partner becomes when they’re with their mother? How can you thank your partner for being patient with you when you regress?

Visit the show notes here.

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Bodies tell the truth. We may not like the truth they tell, but your body doesn’t lie.

This is why you can’t “find the right words” to say something you don’t truly feel/believe. Your body will be at odds with those “right words” and the person to whom you’re talking will leave the conversation feeling confused. This is one of the primary truths that Kasia Urbaniak, author of Unbound: A Woman’s Guide to Power, is helping us understand in her book.

Today is a first on my podcast: I’ve invited you all to come and be a part of my first book club discussion:

1. Our first book is called Unbound: A Woman’s Guide to Power and it’s written by Kasia Urbaniak
2. We’ll talk about what makes it so difficult for so many of us women to initiate and uphold a firm boundary (hint: desire plays a much bigger role than you might realize)
3. And we’ll talk about how gender has played such a big role in power as well as offer a hopeful message for normalizing power dynamics when it comes to gender roles

Subscribe to my newsletter so you don't miss the invitation to participate.

And, text me at 970-210-4480 to let me know which relationship books you’re interested in reading and discussing at the next book club.

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Notice. Notice without judgement.

When you’re able to do that, you get into a meditative state that allows you to shift your behavior, and live a better life. No candles or incense required.

It sounds so simple, right? What’s the big deal with noticing?

Well, lemme tell you: almost all of my clients resist noticing their body. I do too. It takes too much time. Too much energy. But actually, ignoring your body leads to stress, illness, and definitely unhappiness.

Today, we’ll welcome back Allison Evans who talked to us about The Body Budget recently.

1. Allison will teach us how to notice yourself without judgement so you keep your Body Budget well-tended.
2. And we’ll unlock the power of meditation—which is just a codified way of saying notice. Notice your body without judging your body’s needs.

Connect with my guest

Visit website here.

Connect on social media here.

Register for Allison's free workshop on November 12th, 2025 here.

Visit the show notes here.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

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Reach me at 970-210-4480