Dr Peter Willis brings a unique dual perspective to HIV - as both physician and patient during the epidemic's most challenging years. Working as a GP in the early days when HIV meant certain death, Peter witnessed the professional helplessness of medicine whilst quietly assuming his own positive status after his 16-year partner Malcolm showed clear signs of AIDS. Malcolm refused testing and died in 1994, leaving Peter to navigate his own eventual diagnosis in 1995, just as combination therapy emerged to transform his prognosis from months to decades.

Now 83, Peter has been married to his Japanese partner for nearly 30 years and reflects on the extraordinary journey from expecting death before retirement to discovering pottery in his ninth decade. His story captures the medical profession's evolution from powerlessness to hope, the personal cost of stigma in healthcare settings, and the grace found in both losing love and finding it again. Peter's measured wisdom about ageing with HIV, drawn from both clinical knowledge and lived experience, offers profound insights into resilience, acceptance, and the unexpected gifts of longevity.

02:52 - Early medical stigma: "Sometimes the envelopes... had 'HIV positive' written in red on the outside of the packet."

03:59 - Medical helplessness: "Initially, you really couldn't do anything."

04:48 - Malcolm's AIDS: "It was quite clear that he had AIDS. He didn't want to be tested."

05:49 - Professional compartmentalisation: "I treated patients as patients... separate from me."

06:26 - Assumed prognosis: "I always assumed that I wouldn't have very long to live, five years at the most."

06:53 - Early retirement: "Such a relief... I retired on the basis that I had less than six months to live."

08:05 - Limited gay scene engagement: "I was never much good at dancing... very self-conscious."

09:37 - Police warning: "If I were you, I'd get out of here. I'm a policeman."

10:27 - Professional fears: "I just couldn't face the prospect of being in the local newspaper as a GP."

11:16 - Diagnosis journey: "A friend... said, I'm coming to see you... I'm taking you to hospital."

12:57 - Receiving the news: "Steve said, I'm sorry, I have bad news for you."

13:45 - Survival factors: "I seem to be... immunologically tough... combination therapy came along in the nick of time."

14:34 - Social life impact: "My social life... was Golders Green Crematorium."

15:38 - Emotional detachment: "I didn't seem to get too stressed by what I... wonder, is it all suppressed?"

16:05 - Treatment transformation: "It's wonderful... it really changes everything."

16:41 - Current health: "HIV causes me no problems whatever."

17:10 - Disbelief at longevity: "I wouldn't have believed it... I can put it aside as being a kind thought."

19:29 - NHS appreciation: "Relies very heavily on people believing very much in what they're doing."

20:08 - U=U significance: "Wonderful idea that people no longer need to be fearful of having a relationship."

21:03 - Remembering Malcolm: "I was in love with him... all the time for 16 years."

23:35 - Final goodbye: "I said quietly in his ear, it's all right, love. You can go. I'll be all right without you."

25:06 - Funeral tribute: "I've never heard anything so wonderful about love."

25:26 - Final wisdom: "Enjoy life, be happy. Don't worry about challenges you can't achieve."

Matthew Hodson represents one of Britain's most influential voices in HIV and LGBTQ+ activism, having lived openly and "shamelessly" with HIV for nearly three decades.

His journey began in the 1980s when coming out coincided with the emergence of AIDS, leading him to frontline activism against Section 28 and homophobic legislation. After avoiding testing for years due to fear and the lack of effective treatment, Matthew received his HIV diagnosis in 1997, just as combination therapy was revolutionising care. His transformation from someone carrying HIV as a shameful secret to becoming a leading advocate illustrates the power of visibility and self-acceptance.

As Chief Executive of Gay Men Fighting AIDS, Matthew championed honest conversations about viral load and treatment as prevention, challenging the "condoms only" orthodoxy years before U=U became accepted science. His landmark achievement as the first openly HIV-positive chair of a major AIDS conference in 2021 represents both personal triumph and overdue recognition that "nothing about us without us" should include leadership roles.

Matthew's story demonstrates how activism can transform not just society, but the activist themselves.

03:12 - Early sexual awakening: "I took myself off to Heaven... and rid myself of my gay virginity."

04:13 - First AIDS documentary: "I sat down there... watch this documentary called The Killer in the Village... this is so far confined to gay men, particularly in America."

04:48 - Mother's reaction to coming out: "The first thing she said to me was, well, I expect you'll get AIDS and die then."

06:13 - Section 28 catalyst: "Section 28... I felt like I was forced out of the closet by Section 28."

07:43 - Peak homophobia: "The peak of homophobia was 1986, 1987... 75% of people believing that homosexuality was always or almost always wrong."

09:07 - Direct action: "We went down Fleet Street with pink paint and daubed pink triangles everywhere."

10:53 - Manchester march significance: "That was the largest ever gay rights protest gathering anywhere in the world."

12:13 - Avoiding testing: "I thought if someone told me that I was HIV positive now, I think I would just kill myself."

15:45 - 1996 Vancouver conference: "Changed everything... we can treat HIV."

16:43 - Testing experience: "You meet the profile of someone who will test positive."

17:35 - Diagnosis moment: "You've got about 20 years to live... those words... echoed in my head for days and days."

18:53 - Limited time perspective: "You've got a limited period to get things done. Now, what do you want to do with these precious years?"

21:07 - HIV stigma analysis: "If HIV most affected white, cis, straight men... there never would have been any HIV stigma."

23:02 - Sex-positive messaging: "Gay sex. Good. We like it. We enjoy it."

25:44 - Viral load messaging: "That use a condom every time message hadn't worked."

29:19 - Living shamelessly: "All of my fear and shame, my self stigmatising, has been washed away."

32:28 - Going public: "I press send... it was like jumping off a high board... let's just make sure I enter the water with grace."

34:39 - Early disclosure strategy: "I will try and find a way to get my HIV status into that conversation really early on."

36:51 - U=U amazement: "The risk is zero... how wonderfully astonishing is that?"

38:10 - Reclaiming slurs: "Every time you take something that is used against you and you make it into your own armour, it loses its power to...

Anthony Bird's HIV journey began dramatically in 1995 when he went from seroconversion to hospitalisation with PCP in just 4-5 months, an unusually rapid progression that fascinated medical consultants.

Working as a graphic designer in London and deeply embedded in the vibrant gay club scene centred around Brixton's legendary Fridge nightclub, Tony's diagnosis came at 28 during the height of the pre-combination therapy era.

His story captures the terror of thinking he wouldn't live to see 30, watching 30,000 balloons released at Pride representing AIDS deaths whilst believing one would represent him the following year. Yet Tony's experience stands apart from many others in its lack of shame or secrecy - his hospitalisation made his status obvious to friends, and he found himself surrounded by HIV-positive activists who provided community rather than isolation.

From near-death to the miraculous transformation brought by combination therapy, Tony's journey continues to the present day where he's found unexpected joy in ballroom dancing, describing himself as happier than at any point in his life whilst living with HIV as mere background noise.

03:11 - Rapid onset: "I had what was a pretty classic seroconversion... two weeks off work because what felt like a really bad flu."

04:34 - Unable to work: "My last day at work... I didn't have the strength to put my boots on and walk downstairs."

05:17 - Dramatic weight loss: "By the time I was admitted to hospital, I'd gone down to seven and a half stone."

06:29 - Hospital relief: "I think I was just mainly feeling relief that finally someone was taking this seriously."

06:48 - Understanding the implications: "We think you've got PCP. Are you aware of the implications of that?... I knew exactly what the implications were."

09:37 - No confidence in treatment: "I had no confidence in the medication that was available... you develop resistance pretty quickly."

09:37 - Age and mortality: "I can remember... I said, I'm not going to live until I'm 30."

11:24 - The Fridge club scene: "I was absolutely obsessed with going to the Fridge listening to house music until six in the morning."

13:27 - Public diagnosis: "Because of the nature of my diagnosis... All my friends knew I was HIV positive."

14:47 - Family shame: "That was the sense of shame I felt... I'd let my parents down."

18:18 - Extreme blood results: "My viral load was way up in the 2 million, 3 million mark, my CD4 count was less than ten."

19:28 - Pride balloon release: "Each balloon represented someone who died of AIDS... I can remember thinking, next year one of those balloons is going to be me."

21:08 - Lasting damage: "I got shingles twice... the damage it did to my left eye means that I'm still blind in my left eye."

22:40 - Hearing about combination therapy: "People were just astounded by just how successful the trial had been."

24:08 - Medical breakthrough: "My consultant literally skipping down the corridor with the results. She was so pleased."

26:06 - Ongoing side effects: "Those early HIV drugs... some of the side effects are still pretty grim sometimes."

28:50 - Dating and disclosure: "I could put my HIV status up on my profile... other HIV positive men would see that and contact me."

36:35 - Ballroom dancing discovery: "If there is one regret I have, it's that I didn't go to a dance class when I was in my 20s."

38:22 - Finding community: "It's the most home I felt in a community in my life."

39:09 - Current...

Caroline Guinness was diagnosed with HIV in 1986, when she had a three-year-old daughter and was working in the music video industry with clients including Queen, David Bowie, and Duran Duran.

After a doctor performed an HIV test without permission during cervical cancer treatment, Caroline initially refused to know the result before ultimately being told she was positive for what was then called HTLV-III.

Given roughly five years to live, Caroline transformed her private struggle into public advocacy by co-founding and leading Positively Women, one of the UK's first peer-led support organisations specifically for women living with HIV.

Her journey spans nearly four decades of HIV history, from the pre-AZT era through combination therapy, whilst navigating motherhood, relationships, and the unique challenges faced by women in a predominantly male-focused epidemic response.

Caroline's story demonstrates how personal experience can become the foundation for systemic change, creating support networks that have helped countless women through their own HIV journeys.

03:20 - Unwanted test revelation: "He'd done a test for what was called then HTLV-III... I got angry because he hadn't asked my permission."

04:13 - Initial refusal to know: "I got this kind of icy feeling, but I didn't want to know... whatever the result is, I do not wish to know."

05:18 - Doctor's decision: "I know you didn't want to know the results, but I think you're too intelligent not to know... you are positive."

06:14 - First concern for daughter: "My first reaction was my daughter instantly, could she have it?"

07:39 - Friend's devastating reaction: "She just screamed and said, I can't take another one. Someone I love dying."

08:06 - Feeling of detachment: "It was a bit like a sheet of glass suddenly went down between me and the rest of the world."

11:53 - Music video career peak: "We did everything all the Duran Duran, Elton John, David Bowie... We did Video Killed the Radio Star."

14:31 - First fundraising opportunity: "I immediately thought, oh, there's something I can do. There's something I can be proactive here."

19:26 - Different concerns for women: "Being female with HIV was actually very different. We had different concerns to men."

21:12 - Finding peer support: "I felt like I'd come home... to be with people who are in the same situation."

23:00 - Double life reality: "I was doing a lot of publicity as Caroline Guinness... and then I had a pseudonym called Pearl."

24:27 - Daughter's response: "Her reaction was, oh, is there anything I can do? And I said, well, you could help me with some of the housework."

25:38 - Daughter's courage: "She stood up and said... my mum is positive... can you please come and speak to my face."

29:35 - Health crisis: "Caroline, if you don't start taking these drugs, you are dead. You're not going to walk out of this hospital alive."

30:24 - Combination therapy reality: "I had the Lazarus effect... suddenly back in the world of the living."

32:48 - Women as vectors myth: "One of the hardest ones... was that we were these vectors of infection."

37:10 - Meeting Mark: "I did have this thing... butterflies in my stomach... when you know your life's about to change."

39:55 - Media invasion: "Guinness heiress... married to a famous actor dying of AIDS."

42:38 - Changing the narrative: "We changed the narrative... that turned into a positive thing."

44:17 - Greatest achievement: "Positively Women, without a...

Martin Fenerty was diagnosed with HIV in 1993 at just 23 years old, following a severe facial herpes outbreak that led to testing at Liverpool's Seaman's Dispensary. Told he had 5-10 years to live, Martin found himself navigating early adulthood whilst facing his own mortality, complicated by family rejection over his sexuality and a relationship with an HIV-negative partner.

His journey through the pre-combination therapy years reveals the psychological impact of "waiting to die" - living in limbo whilst watching peers build careers and plan futures he believed he'd never see. Martin's experience of stigma within the gay community itself, where strangers would approach him to confirm his positive status, highlights how discrimination operated even in supposedly safe spaces.

Now 55 and working as an NHS counsellor and psychotherapist specialising in LGBTQ+ and HIV services, Martin's story demonstrates the profound psychological work required to transition from preparing for death to learning how to live when combination therapy offered unexpected longevity.

03:39 - Young and isolated: "I'd been out as a gay man only for a couple of years... had quite a rough time with my family."

04:22 - Severe symptoms: "A huge outbreak of facial herpes... all over my face and my neck."

06:05 - Testing at the Seaman's Dispensary: "Favoured by gay men and people involved in sex work because it had a reputation for being more open minded."

08:01 - Receiving the diagnosis: "It was too much for me to take in... I was in shock."

09:56 - Partner dynamics: "He tested negative... the complexity really was around my response to that."

12:26 - Stigma everywhere: "HIV was very stigmatised... it was anathema to be associated with people who were positive, even in the gay community."

16:25 - Death sentence reality: "I was advised that my life would be limited... I wouldn't survive beyond 5-10 years."

21:54 - Confidentiality breach: "My HIV status became known to quite a number of people on the gay scene."

22:14 - Community discrimination: "People would make it known that they knew about my status... quite threatening, quite scary."

24:10 - Health decline: "I would vacuum my little living room... and I had to lie down and have a sleep."

26:02 - Waiting to die: "My life was sort of frozen... underpinning everything was this assumption that I was going to die."

27:39 - Internalised shame: "Maybe I did think I deserved to die... I regarded myself as a bad person who was worthless."

29:35 - Suicide as safety net: "I held on to that idea of suicide as a safety net... at least I can end my own life."

30:25 - Combination therapy transformation: "Within six months, my viral load... was undetectable."

32:08 - Learning to live: "The realisation that I was waiting to die was the realisation that I had to live."

34:07 - Ongoing vulnerability: "We can't necessarily take for granted that those people meant to be caring for us... are going to do that in good faith."

39:41 - Remembering Mark: "He was an example of a role model for me of how to live well with HIV."

44:09 - Final message: "There is life to be lived after HIV diagnosis... everything remains available to you."

• Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
• Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV,...

Jim Vogiatzis was diagnosed with HIV in 1988 after recognising symptoms in both himself and his partner. Working at London Weekend Television, Jim faced the terror of early HIV diagnosis when it truly was a death sentence for most.

His journey through the brutal AZT trials, watching friends die, finding love with Stuart (a "sexy skinhead" with a Geordie accent), and ultimately surviving into the combination therapy era reveals the resilience required to navigate HIV's darkest years.

From caring for dying friends to facing his own mortality, Jim's story encompasses the raw reality of the epidemic's early decades. Now living with long-term health complications from early treatments whilst finding companionship with his emotional support dog Ron, Jim continues his activism against injustice whilst reflecting on a life shaped by survival, love, and the determination to speak truth to power.

03:14 - Making the testing decision: "I made a conscious decision... to go to the GU clinic at James Pringle House and get tested."

03:54 - Anonymous testing protocol: "You were only identified by a number to protect your identity... twenty people in the waiting area. Who are you?"

04:59 - Right-wing press hostility: "Things like... they should be deported to the Isle of Wight... a priest who said if he found out his son was HIV, he'd have him shot."

06:52 - The diagnosis moment: "I'm really sorry to tell you, but you're HIV positive."

08:29 - Supporting dying friends: "I saw as an incredible privilege to be allowed to be there with them and hold their hand."

11:36 - Fear of dying alone: "I was told by somebody I would die alone, basically because of my diagnosis."

13:38 - Boss's supportive response: "He just came round his desk, put his arm on my shoulder and said... don't worry, everything's going to be okay."

15:06 - Early symptoms: "Chest infections I could never shake off... pins and needles in my hands and my feet."

18:48 - AZT trial horrors: "You'd have to set your alarm for the middle of the night to take the next dose. So you never felt truly rested."

19:08 - Severe side effects: "The nausea was so horrendous that you couldn't help yourself... affecting my social life."

20:58 - Meeting Stuart: "Very sexy skinhead... boots, braces, tight t-shirts, cheeky smile, Geordie accent."

24:06 - Valentine's memory: "Got a postcard of a sexy man showing his bum. On the inside... it said, sexy bum kiss."

26:37 - Stuart's decline: "He had PCP... then he had what we call a stroke... destroyed him because he was such an active person."

29:44 - Long-term treatment effects: "Some of the side effects... will last you for your whole life... peripheral neuropathy."

32:51 - Lost support services: "The NHS had stopped funding those services... that safe place to go to."

35:07 - Finding Ron: "Ron is crying in his pen... put his paws through and touched my arm, and I knew that I had to take him home."

36:58 - Final message: "Be authentic. Love and never be afraid to say that I love you and always speak your truth."

• Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
• Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
• The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on...

Susan Cole-Haley received her HIV diagnosis during routine immigration testing in January 1999, when her children were just five and seven years old. Told she had seven years to live by a poorly informed doctor, Susan has spent over two decades transforming from corporate sales executive to one of the UK's most influential HIV advocates.

Her journey encompasses raising four children, navigating healthcare discrimination, and fighting for health equity for marginalised communities. As co-founder of Phoenix Health Movement and former broadcaster of AIDS Map Live, Susan's work addresses the persistent inequalities affecting black women and other communities disproportionately impacted by HIV. Her story challenges assumptions about who gets HIV whilst demonstrating how advocacy can emerge from personal experience to create systemic change for others facing similar struggles.

03:37 - The shocking diagnosis moment: "The doctor said to me, well, the good news is you don't have syphilis... But the bad news is you're HIV positive."

04:27 - Being told the wrong prognosis: "I said to the doctor, well, how long do you think you've got to live? And he said, oh, about seven years or so."

06:12 - Learning the truth through family support: "I realised that actually the doctor was wrong and that I could expect to have... a near normal life expectancy."

07:40 - Father's response highlighting stigma: "One of the first things he said to me was, make sure you don't tell anyone about this."

08:50 - GP's dismissive attitude: "My GP... said to me, oh no dear, that doesn't affect ladies like you."

13:37 - Cancer diagnosis complications: Finding breast cancer six months after being told it was just a cyst.

14:55 - Experiencing healthcare stigma: Oncologist asking "how I got HIV, how I wasn't passing it on to my HIV negative husband."

19:58 - 9/11 as turning point: "It made me feel like I wanted to do something more meaningful and impactful with my life."

22:56 - Naked magazine cover controversy: "I did a naked cover... to show that women living with HIV could have children born free of HIV."

24:46 - Healthcare inequalities: "Health inequalities affecting black women are nothing new. They've been affecting us for generations."

29:33 - Setting up Phoenix Health Movement: "We really felt that the care, particularly affecting black women just was not good enough."

32:44 - Interviewing Richard Gere whilst pregnant: "I said, oh, too busy for a pregnant woman living with HIV. And somehow that works."

36:33 - Global funding crisis: "It's estimated that over 6 million people will die in the next four years from HIV related causes because of funding cuts."

41:32 - Message to women needing help: "Please fight for your rights. You deserve optimal care."

• Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
• Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
• The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on wellbeing of queer communities, especially Black and brown people, through projects like PrEPster and The Grass Is Always Grindr.
• Positive East - London-based support centre offering HIV testing, counselling, community outreach, and health...

Jonathan Blake was diagnosed with HIV in October 1982 at age 33, given 2-9 months to live. More than four decades later, he remains one of the UK's longest-term survivors. His extraordinary journey encompasses the terror of early diagnosis, the isolation of stigma, finding love with companion Nigel Young, and witnessing the transformation from death sentence to manageable condition.

From his early days as an actor working at Joe Allen restaurant, through the bleakest years of the epidemic, to becoming an advocate at HIV drop-in centres, Jonathan's story reveals how survival often depends on connection, purpose, and the courage to keep living in the present. His insights into the evolution of treatment, the importance of knowing your status, and the ongoing challenges of ageing with HIV offer both historical perspective and contemporary relevance.

02:14 - The vibrant gay scene of 1980s London: "London is really horny. We would finish shifts. We would go down to heaven to kind of just unwind."

06:05 - Early awareness through Capital Gay newspaper of something happening in San Francisco and New York, July-August 1982.

09:36 - The diagnosis: "They said, you have a virus, there is no cure. You've got between 2 and 9 months to live. But you can go home."

10:41 - The isolation of early HIV: "I feel like a modern day leper. I isolated myself... I would stand in the darkest corner."

13:25 - Contemplating suicide: "I was going to basically run a hot bath... and I would slash my wrists and I would bleed out the Roman way."

15:27 - Meeting Nigel Young at the nuclear protest: "Hello? My name is Nigel. Who are you?... it just seemed not to make the slightest bit of difference."

21:11 - Finding purpose through education: "I thought, well, you know, why not? Because again, that's going to keep me occupied and busy."

26:00 - Refusing AZT trial: "If you can't be bothered to pair up, I can't be bothered to do that trial."

32:03 - Starting combination therapy in 1996: "You've got to go on combination therapy."

33:54 - The miracle of effective treatment: "The morning of the fourth week, I woke up with such energy I could not believe it."

41:30 - The 2015 study results: "If you were on effective medication as an HIV positive person, one could not pass or infect another person."

44:11 - Challenging stigma: "They use this awful expression clean. I loathe it."

45:07 - Concerns about ageing: "If I have to go into a care home, how will I be treated?"

55:31 - Final message: "Be brave, get tested, know your status."

• Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
• Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
• The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on wellbeing of queer communities, especially Black and brown people, through projects like PrEPster and The Grass Is Always Grindr.
• Positive East - London-based support centre offering HIV testing, counselling, community outreach, and health services.
• PrEPster - Community-led PrEP (HIV prevention pill) education project. Offers clear and inclusive info for diverse audiences across the...