One of my brave patients shares her story with lichen sclerosis from being dismissed and told it was "all in her head" to finding proper treatment and relief.

I'll never forget the day Jess walked into my office. By the time she found me, she'd already been dismissed by multiple doctors including specialists at what was supposed to be one of Chicago's premier women's health centers. They told her the severe pain and skin changes she was experiencing were "all in her head." Two different physicians suggested she needed a therapist, not medical treatment. Her depression history was weaponized against her, used as proof that she was just being hysterical.

But Jess wasn't hysterical. She had advanced lichen sclerosis, and her vulvar skin was literally fusing together. Had she not found proper treatment, she would never have been able to have penetrative sex again. Even worse, without treatment, her risk of vulvar cancer would have climbed from 1% to 3-5%. Yet nobody had explained any of this to her. She'd been handed a tube of clobetasol and essentially told to figure it out herself which she did, on YouTube, learning the proper application technique that her doctors never bothered to teach her.

In this episode, Jess bravely shares her journey living with lichen sclerosis—from the devastating experience of being gaslit by female physicians to finding relief through injectable steroids and surgical lysis of adhesions. We talk about how her symptoms worsened when she entered menopause in her mid-40s (common with autoimmune conditions), the complete loss of libido that left her sobbing when a doctor said "it's never coming back," and the body changes that made her feel like a "potato."

But this conversation is about more than just lichen sclerosis. It's about the failures of our healthcare system, the importance of advocating for yourself even when you're furious and exhausted, and learning to accept yourself exactly where you're at. Jess's story will resonate with anyone who's ever been dismissed, anyone struggling with vulvar health issues, and anyone navigating the chaos of menopause while trying to hold onto their sense of self-worth.

Highlights:

Why most gynecologists miss lichen sclerosis (hint: they're not actually looking at your vulva).

The proper way to apply clobetasol that doctors don't teach.

How vaginismus became a catch-all diagnosis for any woman with painful sex.

The We Do Not Care Club movement and redefining your value at midlife.

What it means when influencers are the face of menopause marketing.

If you've been dismissed or told your vulvar symptoms are "all in your head," this episode validates your experience and shows you're not alone. And if you're a clinician, this is your wake-up call we can no longer dismiss women's symptoms as psychological when real physical disease is staring us in the face.

Please share this with someone who needs to hear that their symptoms are real and treatment is available.

Get in Touch with Me:

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Have you ever wondered why trauma seems to "live" in the body? Or why so many women struggle with sexual dysfunction after difficult childbirth experiences that they're told they should just be "grateful" for?

Join me as we explore the profound connection between trauma and sexual health with Erika Kelley, an award-winning clinical psychologist who specializes in women's sexual medicine and trauma treatment.

Erika Kelley is revolutionizing how we understand and treat the intersection of PTSD and sexual dysfunction. Winner of the prestigious Irwin Goldstein Award at ISSWSH for her groundbreaking research on childbirth-related PTSD, Erika shares insights from her years of experience helping women reclaim their bodies and sexuality after trauma.

Together, we discuss the often overlooked reality of "smiling PTSD" the postpartum trauma that women hide behind societal pressure to appear only joyful after childbirth. Erika explains how trauma becomes physically embedded in the body through the fight-flight-freeze response, creating real physiological changes that impact everything from pelvic floor function to sexual desire.

She also shares the evidence based psychotherapies that are proven to help, including Prolonged Exposure Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy, and how these treatments can be integrated with pelvic floor physical therapy and sexual medicine approaches for comprehensive care.

Erika's commitment to building trust with marginalized communities through community-based participatory research demonstrates how we can address healthcare disparities while advancing trauma care. Her work with Black women and perinatal mental health is paving the way for more inclusive and effective treatment.

This episode is essential listening for anyone who has experienced trauma, healthcare providers who work with trauma survivors, and anyone interested in understanding how our bodies truly do "keep the score." By listening, you'll gain crucial knowledge about recognizing trauma symptoms, accessing appropriate treatment, and advocating for yourself or your patients.

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, traumatic childbirth experiences, medical trauma, PTSD symptoms, and obstetric complications. Please listen with care and reach out for support if needed.

• How PTSD manifests physically in the body and affects sexual health.
• Dr. Kelley's award-winning research on childbirth trauma and sexual dysfunction.
• Why "smiling PTSD" prevents women from getting help after traumatic births.
• Evidence-based treatments that work: Prolonged Exposure Therapy, CPT, and EMDR.
• How to prepare for subsequent pregnancies after traumatic childbirth.
• Trauma-informed care and why communication during emergencies is critical.
• Healthcare disparities affecting BIPOC women and community-based solutions

If this episode resonated with you, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify it helps other women find this life changing information. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear that their trauma is real and treatment is available.

Get in touch with Erika:

Website

Instagram

Get in Touch with Me:

Website

Instagram

Youtube

Substack