In this episode, therapist and former Broadway performer Brian Spitulnik joins Dustin to explore the intersections of shame, identity, and healing within the gay and broader queer community. Together, they unpack themes like internalized homophobia, social hierarchies among gay men, and the emotional toll of self-sabotage and rejection.

Brian opens up about his personal transformation, from life on the stage to becoming a clinician, and how embracing authenticity and vulnerability changed his path. The conversation delves into how race, body image, and trauma show up in therapy spaces, as well as the unique challenges queer people face in finding belonging and self-acceptance.

Whether you're a therapist, LGBTQ+ person, or ally, this episode offers a compassionate, insightful look into the emotional and relational landscape of queer identity, and how therapy can support deeper connection and growth.

Connect with Brian Spitulnik

TikTok: @spitulnik

Instagram: @spitulnik

Website: www.brianspitulnik.com/

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com

Episode Guide & Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Identity Exploration

03:04 Understanding Shame in Gay Men

06:02 Self-Sabotage in Relationships

09:01 Social Hierarchy in Gay Culture

12:11 The Role of Therapy in Building Connections

14:52 Personal Journey and Professional Focus

17:54 Authenticity and Defense Mechanisms

29:28 The Journey to Authenticity

30:46 Vulnerability and Connection

33:14 The Weight of Shame

35:41 Navigating Identity in Different Environments

39:36 Coming Out and Acceptance

41:36 Rejection in the Queer Community

43:38 Therapeutic Dynamics and Race

48:47 The Complexity of Conversations

51:52 Lessons from Tragedy

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver