Here is Part II of HomeKit, the first ‘whisper-in-your-ear’ audio companion to help you get unstuck in sticky situations. The topic today is on Assertiveness.

Each of the lessons consists of

1. An introduction

2. Three strategies

3. Three rationales

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Assertiveness

Assertiveness is an act of lessening the divide between what’s on the inner and outer-life. Because the life that is inside needs to be heard on the outside.

Here’s How:

1. What do I really want? What do I really like?

2. Make sure your Yes on the outside is not a No on the inside.

3. Strength and Warmth.

Here’s Why:

1. Assertiveness is a form of Truth-telling.

2. Be divided no more.

3. The real challenge for people who are highly agreeably and compassionate.

Listen to the end of the podcast episode for a special promo code. FOUR DAYS LEFT!

To sign up for a HomeKit, go to darylchow.com/homekit

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Subscribe to Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD). The aim is to help you grow at your bleeding edge of personal and professional development. Frontiers Friday is released newsletter. Plus you get to access 10 years of FPD archive at no cost.

In the next six podcast episodes, I will give you six of the ‘whisper-in-your-ear’ complete lessons from HomeKit, the first audio kit to help you get unstuck in sticky situations.

Here are the six topics:

1. Anxiety

2. Assertiveness

3. Discipline

4. Expressing Love

5. Procrastination

6. Stress

Each of the lessons consists of

I. An introduction

II. Three strategies

III. Three rationales

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Today, we will start with Anxiety.

Anxiety

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is experiencing failure... in advance.

Here’s How:

1. To recompose...back into your body (listen to the experiential exercise in the audio).

2. Convert Anxiety into Fear.

3. Convert your worrying into planning.

Here’s Why:

1. To Worry = To ‘Strangulate’. Travelling at the speed of light causes anxiety. Learn to travel at the speed of life.

2. Dealing with anxiety can sometimes feel too vague and nebulous, like catching clouds. By converting it into fear, you name it and have a better chance of healing it.

3. Worries goes in circles; planning goes in an intentional direction.For more on Homekit, go to darylchow.com/homekit

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Subscribe to Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD). The aim is to help you grow at your bleeding edge of personal and professional development. Frontiers Friday is released newsletter. Plus you get to access 10 years of FPD archive at no cost.

Some of the best conversations happen when your clients can hear themselves clearly.

This is Part II on Depths of Conversation. See the Part I: We Are Hungry For Depth:

The five levels of conversation:

1. Informational

2. Emotional

3. Confessional

4. Experiential

5. Activational

Shownotes:

- Avoid TBU (True But Useless) Information

- Why You Need A Guide to Go Deep

- Dropout in Psychotherapy (Part I, II, III)

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Subscribe to Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD). The aim is to help you grow at your bleeding edge of personal and professional development. Frontiers Friday is released newsletter. Plus you get to access 10 years of FPD archive at no cost.

We yearn not just for deeper conversations, but deeper connections. Connections that make us come alive.

The five levels of conversation:

1. Informational

2. Emotional

3. Confessional

4. Experiential

5. Activational

Shownotes:

- Main Full Circles essay: https://fullcircles.substack.com/p/depth

- Information is Not Transformation

- Listening into Speech: Will Say, Won't Say, Can't Say.

- PostSecret

- A Class Divided Documentary

- Invisible Wounds

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Subscribe to Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD). The aim is to help you grow at your bleeding edge of personal and professional development. Frontiers Friday is released newsletter. Plus you get to access 10 years of FPD archive at no cost.

Today’s episode is dedicated to two readers of Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD): Austin Sparks and Ash Burton.

I answer both Austin’s and Ash’s question on working with more than just the individual youth in therapy. I address the challenge and merits, along with six guiding principles, and six strategies that I take.

Guiding Principles

1. Give Voice to the Voice-less

2. Listening to Each Other into Speech

3. Being a With-ness to Each Other

4. We are a Community of Internalised Others

5. When We Love, We Love Poorly

Strategies

1. Structure is “Where are we? were are we going? and why?

2. Mixing Individual and Conjoint Sessions

3. Allow Contradictory Perspectives

4. Express the Unspokens

5. How Healthy is the Family?

6. Practice of forgiveness

SHOWNOTES:

1. 10 Years of Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD). Frontiers Friday #189

2. Listening Into Speech: Will Say, Won’t Say, Can’t Say.

Quotes:

Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.

— Thich Nhat Hanh, in How to Love.

Forgiveness is the name of love practice among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly.

— Henri Nouwen.

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Subscribe to Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development (FPD). The aim is to help you grow at your bleeding edge of personal and professional development. Frontiers Friday is released newsletter. Plus you get to access 10 years of the archive at no cost.

This is about the Difficult Conversations in Therapy (DCT) study that has just recently been released.

I talked about1. Main findings

2. Surprising findings

3. Uniqueness

4. The Evolution of the DCT Study

5. What I’ve learned from the DCT Project.

Main Study: https://www.growkudos.com/publications/10.1037%25252Ftep0000493/reader

See https://darylchow.substack.com/p/ff207 for shownotes.

A talk recorded at the Association of Counselling Psychologist (ACP) Conference, Oct 2024. Taking aim at doing the right thing, and not just doing things right.

Watch the video version to make sense of the references made in this talk: https://youtu.be/Pa-cv9V3_ZM?si=FTSstO9Ex8g-WLgr

CHAPTERS: - Intro: (0:00) - Performing vs. Learning (4:20) -Concept Creep ((10:40) - What is Deliberate Practice(11:39) - Profile of Highly Effective Therapists aka Supershrinks (15:45) The Seven Mistakes: 1. DP is Not Clinical Practice (22:55) 2. DP is Not Model Specific (25:36) 3. DP is Not Reflective Practice (32:48) 4. DP is Not Purposeful Practice (36:25) 5. DP is Not About You (38:04) 6. DP Needs Guidance (41:39) 7. DP Should Not Be Mandated (41:13) Closing: My Three Wishes for You (46:49) --- 🎁 Would like to receive 5 wicked recommendations to nourish your professional development each Friday? Subscribe to our Frontiers Friday newsletter: 🎯 https://darylchow.substack.com

An antidote to dogma.

See this Substack post for more:

https://darylchow.substack.com/p/ff205