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Your perspective shapes everything about how you experience your marriage. Are you constantly focusing on what your partner does wrong, or are you actively looking for the good? In this candid conversation, Greg and Jessica share how their vastly different life experiences shaped their mindsets about family, relationships, and overcoming trauma.

Jessica reveals the profound shift that occurred when she had to decide whether to live as "the widow" after losing her first husband at 32 with two small children. Through counseling and learning about "Eucharisto" - the practice of active gratitude - she discovered how to find joy even amidst devastating loss. Her powerful realization: "He's there to do it" became her response when hearing others complain about their spouses' annoying habits. The simple gift of presence became everything.

Greg opens up about his transformative experience running a half-marathon with zero training after his divorce, sobbing through the final mile as he processed years of pain and the fear of becoming like his abusive father. This physical challenge became a metaphor for his life: "I can do more than I think I can."

Both hosts emphasize that choosing not to be victims doesn't mean denying their trauma - it means refusing to let their hardest moments define them. This mindset has shaped how they parent their blended family and approach their marriage, deliberately looking for positive rather than dwelling on annoyances.

Try this simple exercise: pause right now and text your partner three things you love about them. As Greg brilliantly sums up: "You will find what you're looking for. If you're looking for positive, you're going to find it."