Most men trying to break free from porn believe their biggest problem is their urges.

But the real issue runs deeper.

It’s their relationship with their mind.

In this episode of the Free From Porn Podcast, Richard Young breaks down the three stages every man goes through in his relationship with his thoughts—and why understanding this changes everything.

In stage one, you believe you are your thoughts. Every urge feels personal. Every intrusive idea feels like it defines you. And because of that, you live in reaction—trapped in cycles of shame, fear, and compulsive behavior.

In stage two, everything begins to shift. You realize you are not your thoughts—you are the observer of them. This is where real transformation begins. Instead of reacting automatically, you learn to let thoughts pass without identifying with them. Urges stop feeling like commands and start becoming opportunities to renew your mind and stand in truth.

Then comes stage three.

The stage where urges no longer control you. The thoughts that once ruled your life become background noise—nothing more than passing signals that no longer carry power. Not because you fought harder, but because you stopped identifying with them altogether.

This episode will help you:

• Understand why you are not your thoughts
• Break the lie that urges define you
• Learn how to take thoughts captive without fear or shame
• See why renewing your mind is the key to lasting freedom
• Discover how men naturally progress to a place where urges lose their grip

Freedom isn’t about eliminating thoughts.

It’s about realizing they were never you to begin with.

When you stop identifying with every urge, you stop being controlled by them.

And that’s when everything changes.

What if you’ve been starting in the wrong place this whole time?

For years, I thought freedom meant climbing. Climbing out of sin. Climbing toward peace. Climbing into God’s approval. But there was one idea that broke everything open for me:

In Christ, you start where He finished.

You don’t begin your spiritual life at the bottom of the mountain trying to reach God.
You begin seated with Christ.

You don’t fight for victory.
You fight from victory.

In this episode, I unpack:

• What it means to start from rest instead of striving
• Why your default setting in Christ is love, joy, and peace
• How life circumstances and old thought patterns trick you into “coming down the mountain”
• Why pornography is a symptom of forgetting you’re already okay
• How Colossians 3 shifts everything about recovery

So many men relapse not because they lack desire for freedom — but because they don’t know they’re already free.

They’re trying to get peace instead of living from peace.

You are not climbing to heaven.
You’ve already been raised with Christ.

The invitation is simple:
Stop leaving the room you’re already in.

Freedom isn’t at the top of the mountain.
It’s your starting point.

Listen in and learn how to live from the finish line.

What if the urges you’re afraid of are actually the key to your freedom?

In this episode of the Free From Porn podcast, Richard Young flips the script on how we think about urges. Instead of fearing them or trying to suppress them, he explains why urges are actually doing important work—revealing the unresolved emotions, beliefs, and wounds we’ve learned to cope with through porn.

You’ll hear why porn isn’t the real problem, how urges point to dysregulated emotions beneath the surface, and why avoiding uncomfortable feelings only keeps you stuck longer. Through real-life stories and practical insight, Richard shows how facing those feelings—rather than escaping them—creates space for healing, release, and lasting freedom.

This conversation goes beyond porn. It applies to anger, shame, fear, impatience, and negative self-beliefs. If you’ve ever felt afraid of your thoughts, emotions, or urges, this episode will help you learn how to process them in the light of truth—and walk in the freedom Jesus has already given you.

Freedom isn’t found in fighting harder. It’s found in learning how to face what’s coming up… and letting it go.

Most people think their struggle with porn is about willpower, discipline, or self-control.

It’s not.

In this episode, Richard breaks down a deeper issue that keeps people stuck—not just in pornography, but in anxiety, emotional overwhelm, and constant inner turmoil: the illusion of control.

We talk about why porn is rarely the real problem, but a coping mechanism for unregulated emotions… and how much of that emotional pain comes from resisting life instead of experiencing it.

You’ll hear:

• Why “trying to control” your circumstances is mentally exhausting
• How resistance and constant mental effort create the very anxiety you’re trying to escape
• Why escape behaviors (porn, alcohol, distraction) feel necessary when life doesn’t go your way
• What happens when you stop resisting and start actually living
• How freedom grows when your energy is no longer wasted on mental tug-of-war

This episode invites you to put down the weapons—worry, control, resistance—and learn how to live from peace instead of striving.

As Paul writes, “Do not be anxious about anything…”
That’s not a command to try harder—it’s an invitation into rest.

If you’re tired of fighting your mind, medicating emotions, or feeling trapped in the same cycles, this conversation will give you a completely different way forward.

Freedom isn’t found by controlling life.
It’s found by learning how to experience it—without fear.

What if trying to outthink your porn habit is actually keeping you stuck?

In this episode of the Free From Porn podcast, Richard Young breaks down why willpower, mental debates, and “inner dialogue” are the worst tools for overcoming urges—and what to do instead.

You’ll learn:

• Why your mind isn’t equipped to solve addiction
• How inner arguments actually drain you and strengthen temptation
• The difference between reacting to urges and observing them
• A practical, embodied way to endure urges without fighting them
• How the peace of God guards both your heart and your mind

This episode introduces a radically different approach: relaxing behind the urge, regulating your body, and letting God’s peace do what your mind never could.

If you’ve been exhausted from trying harder, thinking more, or reasoning your way out of temptation—this one might change everything.

Freedom is your new normal.

What does it actually mean to be free from p*rn—and how is that different from trying to be “sinless”? In this episode, Richard breaks down Romans 6 and explains why real freedom isn’t about white-knuckling behavior change, but living from the ontological freedom Christ has already given you.

Every January, we make resolutions we don’t keep—especially when it comes to quitting porn. In this episode, Richard Young explains why freedom doesn’t come from trying harder or setting negative goals like “I won’t do this anymore.”

Instead, real change starts with intention.

You’ll learn why intentions formed in clarity are stronger than resolutions made in emotion, how fear and desire derail your commitments, and what it looks like to set a higher intention rooted in freedom and integrity. Richard shares why your intention should be about who you’re becoming—not just what you’re avoiding.

This episode is a call to set your course for 2026:
Not away from porn, but toward the freedom Christ has already given you.

If you want this year to be different, start here.

The holidays have a way of stirring up old thoughts, old emotions, and old coping patterns. Family gatherings, financial pressure, grief, loneliness, and anxiety can all collide at once—and when anxiety rises, the mind often reaches for the same “solution” it always has. Porn isn’t the problem. It’s the relief valve we’ve learned to pull when tension feels unbearable.

In this episode of the Free From Porn podcast, Richard Young teaches a simple but powerful practice that changes everything: learning to observe your thoughts instead of fighting them—and relaxing around the feelings they trigger. You’ll discover why resisting or suppressing anxious thoughts actually makes them stronger, how to step out of the mental “roller coaster,” and what it looks like to take thoughts captive by staying present, relaxed, and grounded in Christ.

As you head into the busy Christmas season, this episode will help you:

• Understand why anxiety—not desire—is the real driver behind porn use
• Learn how to observe thoughts without identifying with them
• Practice relaxing your body and nervous system when triggers arise
• Experience how peace replaces compulsion when tension is released
• Walk through the holidays conscious, free, and no longer medicating stress

This isn’t about trying harder or fighting your mind. It’s about learning how to live from peace—where thoughts lose their power, urges pass, and freedom becomes your new normal.