For as long as I can remember, I was either too much or not enough – too thin or too heavy. At 5’7”, I’ve been as low as 105 pounds and as high as 220. I ran, played tennis, and tried to disappear into thinness, but no matter how much weight I lost, I still saw flaws. I obsessed over food, swinging between control and chaos. My addiction manifested in bizarre ways: while studying at college, I’d reward myself with a treat after each page I’d read, and at work, I’d bring sweets to the office only to consume them all myself. Business trips became opportunities for planned binges, where I’d spread out multiple snack foods on the hotel bed and then eat everything, drowning in shame. When I walked into my first Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) meeting at 197 pounds, I was desperate. I didn’t think FA could help me. Then, a woman stood up and

told her story. I couldn’t believe it. She looked nothing like me, but she had lived my life. After the meeting, I got a sponsor. That night, I binged one last time, but the next morning, I called her and began. I didn’t think I’d last a day, but I have been here 22 years now, living in a body that feels like home. I weigh a steady, healthy 141 pounds, and more importantly, I’m no longer tormented by food or shame. At my first meeting, I heard that working the FA program offers “a life of sane and happy usefulness.” That combination – sane and happy – sounded pretty good to me. And that’s exactly what I got.

#overeater #undereater

In 2013, weighing 193 pounds, I was caught in an endless cycle of gaining and losing the same 20 pounds despite exercising six hours daily. At my heaviest, I had reached 309 pounds. Food was my solution for everything—my way of stuffing down emotions in a family where we never discussed feelings or learned healthy communication. As a child, I soothed myself by sucking my fingers until age 12. I had no stable identity, defining myself only in relation to others. Consumed by fear, doubt, and insecurity, I obsessed over others' opinions while compulsively trying to fix everyone's problems. My dieting began at 15 with a weekly Thursday weigh-in, followed by weekend binges. Working at a grocery store gave me both money and dangerous food access. In college, I met my future husband and gained 35 additional pounds. After college, in the year before our wedding, I lived above a bakery, and my eating behaviors only worsened. Our marriage struggled because of my dishonesty about both food and finances. After adopting a five-year-old boy from foster care, I built my identity around motherhood. When he left for the boarding school where my husband taught, I felt completely lost. Realizing I needed help, I found Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), where I met two women with decades of recovery who showed me another way. I found boundaries, structure, and community. Today, despite my husband's leukemia diagnosis and my son's chronic health issues, I face life without fear. One day at a time, I've maintained my abstinence and my weight loss of over 100 pounds. It has been eleven years since my last binge.

#EmotionalEating

#BingeEatingRecovery

#BingeEating

#FoodFreedom

#FreedomFromFood

At the age of 58, I am grateful to have been in recovery from food addiction for the last eighteen years. I came from a loving, yet dysfunctional family, with a rage-oholic father and a mentally ill sister, and food allowed me to escape my stressful surroundings. Considered a “husky” kid, I was eating constantly. In our family, unhealthy eating habits were normalized – I remember ordering soda and dessert for breakfast at restaurants, and no one questioned it. During junior high, I turned to excessive exercise, spending up to 8 hours daily working out. Despite achieving weight loss goals, I was never satisfied, constantly comparing myself to fitness magazine models. Life transitions would trigger 30-40 pound weight gains. My struggles extended beyond food to financial irresponsibility – I didn't pay my taxes, ignored student loan invoices, and maxed out credit cards. The turning point came when a friend introduced me to Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA). Though initially skeptical about committing to a structured eating program, I was desperate. Today, my life has transformed dramatically. I exercise in a balanced way, live at a healthy weight, and have achieved financial stability – including fully paying off my home and credit card debt. Most importantly, I have nurtured healthy and honest relationships with family and friends.

#lgbtq+ #overeater #overexerciser #huskykid