You can’t swipe your way into secure love if your nervous system is stuck in survival mode.

This week, I’m getting real about what happened when I was forced to slow down — and what it revealed about my own patterns around productivity, self-worth, and why "resting" in life or taking a break from dating can feel so damn triggering… especially if you’re someone who’s always doing the most.

We’re talking about:

• The sneaky ways hustle culture shows up in your dating life
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• What happens when your nervous system doesn’t know how to flow (hello, overthinking every text)
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• Why taking a break from dating might actually speed up your timeline
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• The subconscious fears that surface when you finally pause
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• And the most magnetic energy you can bring into your love life right now

If you’ve been feeling burnt out, anxious, or like love is taking too long to arrive — this episode is for you.

RATE & REVIEW!! If this episode resonated, leave a review or share it with someone who needs to hear this reminder today. And if you’re taking a dating break, DM me on Instagram @shondahowardlove — I wanna hear about it 💗

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

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What if your greatest heartbreak could become your most powerful transformation?

In this raw conversation, I sit down with my dear friend Meagan Norris – former lawyer turned life and divorce coach who revolutionized her entire life after her divorce. She shares how she left a marriage that looked perfect on paper but felt deeply wrong in her body, and transformed that pain into purpose.

But this isn't just a divorce story. It's a masterclass in the exact emotional alchemy required to find extraordinary love at any age.

Meagan reveals how the same skills that helped her create a peaceful divorce against all odds – managing emotions, validating herself, and focusing relentlessly on her vision – are precisely what create magnetic attraction in dating. Her journey illuminates why so many women struggle to find authentic partnership when they're unconsciously outsourcing their worth to potential partners.

Whether you're healing from heartbreak, stuck in situationships, or simply ready to call in a deeper love, Megan's wisdom offers the roadmap to becoming the woman who naturally attracts what she desires – by becoming complete in herself first.

In This Episode You'll Discover:

• The subtle red flags your body recognizes before your mind catches up
• How to stop "leaking energy" through validation-seeking behaviors that repel healthy partners
• The counterintuitive practice of using your anxiety as "sacred fuel" instead of a problem to solve
• Why becoming a match for extraordinary love requires radical self-leadership
• The exact process for trusting your timeline instead of forcing relationships out of fear
• How to distinguish between genuine change and temporary appeasement in partners
• The transformational mantra: "I hate this, and that's okay" – and why it's more powerful than toxic positivity
• Why Megan is intentionally not dating yet – and the wisdom in deliberate seasons of being single

About Meagan Norris: Meagan is a single mom to three children who transformed her life through radical self-responsibility. After leaving her law career in 2010, she discovered life coaching in 2019, which gave her the tools to navigate her divorce with unprecedented speed and grace. Now, she helps women rewrite their divorce stories through her signature programs: The Divorce Accelerator and Beyond Divorce membership.

Connect with Megan: Follow Meagan and learn more about working with her on Instagram: @MeganNorrisCoaching

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

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In today’s episode, I’m sharing a juicy story from my single days—when I unintentionally created a dating challenge that completely changed how I showed up in love. Spoiler: I didn’t meet my husband during the challenge, but it was one of the biggest shifts that helped me become magnetic and emotionally grounded in dating.

You'll learn:

• Why anxious energy is repelling the exact type of man you want
• The surprisingly simple tweak that made dating way more fun (and way less stressful)
• How a silly little spreadsheet helped me stop obsessing over “is he the one?”
• What magnetic energy actually looks like—and how to access it without faking confidence
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This episode is for you if:

✨ You’re tired of dating feeling like a chore

✨ You keep overthinking every text, glance, or comment from the guy

✨ You want to feel confident, grounded, and have fun while dating

Let’s connect:

DM me on Instagram @shondahowardlove or email me at shonda@shondahoward.com and tell me your biggest dating energy block—I’d love to help.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

In this episode of the Finding Love After 30 podcast, we dive deep into a topic that so many of you have been asking about: how to meet high-quality men in real life, without relying on dating apps. If you're tired of swiping and feeling frustrated with online dating, this episode is for you! I’ll be sharing my top strategies for meeting men offline, but before we dive into the “how,” we’ll focus on an essential mindset shift: who before how. This is all about getting your energy aligned so you can show up as your most magnetic self before putting yourself out there. Once you've got your mindset right, I'll give you actionable tips on where to go and how to meet men in the real world.

Key Topics Covered:

· Why it’s important to take a break from dating apps when you’re feeling burned out

· The importance of who before how—cleaning up your mindset and energy before taking action

· How to connect with your future self to boost your confidence and attract the right energy

· Practical, real-life strategies to meet men, including switching up your routine, trying new activities, and joining local events

· The role of being open, curious, and present in creating magnetic energy that draws people in

Resources Mentioned:

· Book a call with me here– Join my Find The One program for personalized support in your dating journey.

· Instagram – DM me with your questions or share your experiences with implementing these strategies!

· Take Action: Listen in, and don’t forget to DM me on Instagram @shondahowardlove to let me know which strategies you’re trying. I’m here to support you every step of the way!

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

Episode Summary:

In this episode Shonda welcomes special guest and business coach, Lauren Ciesco. Together, they explore how the principles of embodiment, emotional healing, and inner guidance apply to attracting your soulmate (and soulmate clients if you’re a business owner). Lauren shares her personal journey of going from emotionally unavailable to open-hearted in dating, and how that parallels her experience of building a thriving, soul-aligned business. Tune in to learn why “the how” isn’t the most important factor in success—whether in love or in business—and how trusting yourself, processing emotions, and embracing your full self can create magnetic results.

The Power of Embodiment

• What It Means: Being fully present and aligned in your body, beliefs, and emotions, rather than relying on superficial affirmations or forced actions.
• Why It Matters: Embodiment creates the magnetic energy that attracts what you truly desire—whether that’s a loving partner or soulmate clients.

Emotional Work & Safety

• Facing Fear and Rejection: Both dating and business growth require the willingness to feel discomfort, process rejection, and cultivate inner safety.
• Healing Anxious Attachment: Learning to release old patterns and subconscious blocks allows for deeper trust in relationships and entrepreneurial endeavors.

From “Pick Me” to “I’m Chosen”

• Shifting Self-Worth: Moving away from a grasping, validation-seeking approach to a confident, grounded stance that naturally draws people in.
• Boundaries & Unattachment: Knowing your worth leads to healthier boundaries and less premature attachment, both in love and in sales.

Feminine Energy & Flow

• Allowing vs. Forcing: Embodying a relaxed, trusting energy invites people to come to you, rather than chasing or controlling outcomes.
• Inner Guidance: Tuning into your intuition—what Lauren calls “soul consciousness”—provides clarity and alignment far beyond what the mind alone can offer.

Parallels Between Love & Business

• Soulmate Clients vs. Soulmate Partners: The same inner shifts—trust, emotional resilience, and authenticity—apply in attracting both.
• Practical Magic: While strategy and apps/websites are useful, the real “secret sauce” is the energetic work beneath the surface.

Lauren Ciesco helps soul-led entrepreneurs unlock their full potential—financially, energetically, and strategically. With 20 years of experience in sales and business, she blends deep embodiment work with intuitive sales and money coaching, guiding creatives, coaches, and service providers to make money doing what they love without the burnout, hustle, or sleazy tactics.

After leaving a high-level corporate sales career that left her feeling empty, Lauren redefined success on her own terms. Now, she’s on a mission to help others do the same—teaching them to step into their power, trust their inner guidance, and build businesses that light them up and fill their bank accounts.

Check out Lauren's website and FREE masterclass library HERE and Follow her on Instagram HERE!

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

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If you're single and Dreading Valentine's day then this is for YOU! I'm sharing my recent masterclass: Non-Sucky Valentine's day.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

Download the Worksheet for this episode HERE

After a weekend in NYC (where I may have cried every ten blocks), I had a massive realization about what actually matters when it comes to meeting an amazing man.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

✨ The surprising truth about the year before I met my husband (and why it was just as amazing as the year I met him)

✨ The biggest mindset shift you need to make if you’re serious about finding love

✨ How to shake up your routine, shift your energy, and become magnetic AF

✨ Why your single season is just as important as your relationship season—and how to actually enjoy it

If you’ve been waiting for love to start living, this episode is your wake-up call.

💌 Loved this episode? Let me know! Screenshot and tag me on IG @shondahowardlove.

🔗 Join my FREE training: Non-Sucky Valentine’s Day (because being single in February doesn’t have to suck) → Sign up here

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

In this episode, we’re diving into one of the most overlooked yet powerful aspects of dating: inner safety. If you’re tired of dating feeling like a high-stakes game where you’re always waiting for validation or reassurance, this episode is for you.

Inner safety is the sense of calm, security, and self-trust that comes from within. It’s what keeps you grounded, confident, and able to navigate dating without getting overly attached or anxious. When you build this internal sense of safety, dating becomes less of a rollercoaster and more of a steady, enjoyable process.

Download the FREE worksheet for this episode here

Key Takeaways

• Inner safety helps you stay grounded and resilient even when things feel uncertain. This is key for dating without feeling like you need external validation.
• Internal safety reduces the need for validation from others, allowing you to approach dating with confidence, self-worth, and clarity.
• Three techniques to build inner safety: a body scan meditation, the 5-5-7 breathing exercise, and a self-hypnosis mantra practice. Each of these helps you reconnect with yourself and calm your nervous system, so you’re less likely to get swept up in overthinking or emotional spirals.

Practical Tips

• Try a body scan meditation to bring awareness to your body and calm your mind, especially before a date or whenever you feel anxious.
• Practice the 5-5-7 breathing exercise to center yourself in the moment and create an internal feeling of calm. This technique is great for pre-date nerves or daily practice.
• Use a self-hypnosis mantra to reinforce the belief that you are safe, grounded, and complete within yourself. This simple technique helps you feel more secure from the inside out.

Listen to This Episode If…

• You feel anxious or unsettled in dating and crave a sense of calm and confidence.
• You often look for validation or reassurance in relationships and want to change that pattern.
• You’re ready to date from a place of security and self-worth, so you can recognize and attract the right kind of partner.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.