Drink of the day: Topo-Chico Hard Seltzer

Blanco and Jonesy are back at the bar, ready to tackle the week’s challenges with the same enthusiasm as a cat facing a bath. First up, the Topo Chico hard-seltzer taste test—spoiler alert: it was as exciting as watching paint dry while listening to a tax audit. They then dove into the thrilling world of inflation, cash, and cryptocurrency, proving that even their conversations can make your wallet cry.

Phone distractions were the next topic, with Jonesy confessing that his phone is like a black hole—sucking in time and productivity faster than you can say “TikTok.” They reminisced about retro gaming, where the graphics were so pixelated, you needed a magnifying glass to see the characters. And speaking of characters, they reviewed MLB postseason storylines and NFL performances, with the Chiefs stealing the spotlight like a quarterback who just found out he can fly.

Betting picks were shared with the confidence of someone who just learned how to shuffle cards: Seahawks, Falcons, Raiders, and Chargers are the teams to watch, or at least to bet on if you enjoy living on the edge.

Drink of the day: Carbliss Vodka cocktail Black Cherry.

The Fatties are back at the bar. We discuss our visit to Jay Rieger in Kansas City. It was nothing short of legendary. The whiskey and gin were delightful. Their vodka and Café Amaro are also worth a shoutout. The tasting experience was so good, we almost forgot to leave. We even chatted about a future whiskey and barbecue-sauce tasting, potentially featuring Josh and his barbecue sauce. Spoiler alert: I’m already salivating.

In the world of news, a Marketplace buyer was found responsible for damaging a mirror during transport. I guess they should have checked their blind spots before loading up. We also dove into the wild world of AI risks, monitoring AI, and some mind-blowing research in Singapore using about 800,000 lab-grown human neurons in biological computing units. Talk about brain food! And let’s not forget the Taco Bell price increases—ouch! We’re eyeing Burger King, Chipotle, and Texas Tom’s as potential alternatives. Because who doesn’t love a good taco deal?

Sports fans, brace yourselves! We debated NFL injuries, fantasy football, the Fat Four picks, Chiefs performance, Justin Herbert, the Packers, and early betting picks. It was like a sports buffet, and I was the kid with the biggest plate. Whether you’re a fantasy football fanatic or just love a good sports chat, this was the place to be.

In this episode, Blanco and Jonesy embark on a whirlwind tour of drink tasting, celebrity gossip, disappearing technology, sports updates, and a legal saga involving a San Francisco 49ers owner that sounds like it was pulled straight from a soap opera. First up, they bravely sampled Finnish Long Drink, a grapefruit concoction with zero sugar and 99 calories, which they rated between 2.5 and 3 out of 5—essentially the drink equivalent of a lukewarm hug. Next, they mourned the loss of voice actor Peter Cullen, actor Tim urry, and Dolly Parton, taking a moment to appreciate Parton’s Imagination Library and her timeless anthem “9 to 5,” which is probably still playing in every office break room. In a nostalgic trip down memory lane, they reminisced about obsolete relics like film canisters, paper tickets, and LimeWire, before diving into sports updates where the Kansas City Royals defied all odds by winning nine consecutive games despite being 11.5 games back—a feat that might just make them the underdog heroes of the baseball world. Finally, they teased future episodes about their favorite Netflix documentaries, planned a fantasy-football draft showdown, and promised to tackle the existential dread of AI safety and robots in a later episode, because why not end on a note that keeps you up at night?

Drink of the day Sunny D Vodka Seltzer

Blanco and Jonesy, embarked on a culinary adventure that left us both questioning our life choices. We started with a Little Debbie fudge cream pies-it was about as exciting as watching paint dry. Seriously, it was like the ice cream equivalent of a dad joke—predictable and a little disappointing. But fear not, because we redeemed ourselves with the Tennessee Lightning cocktail, which was as electrifying as a squirrel on a power line.

Between our snack escapades, we managed to squeeze in a chat about our jam-packed work schedules. It’s like we’re in a never-ending game of Tetris, trying to fit everything in without any pieces falling out. And speaking of falling out, we had a good laugh about AMC’s new dynamic pricing plan.

Our conversation took a hilarious turn when we shared personal stories, including one about a fart-induced movie theater evacuation. Yes, you heard that right. Who knew that a little gas could cause such chaos? We also debated bathroom design preferences, because why not? It’s not every day you get to discuss the aesthetics of a commode.

We wrapped up the episode with a quick update on the NFL preseason. Patrick Mahomes is on fire, and we’re all here for it. But let’s not forget Kirk Cousins. We agreed he’s an above-average game manager, kind of like that friend who always shows up to the party but never brings the snacks. We debated his potential in a strong defense and running game, and surprisingly, he came out looking pretty good compared to Sam Darnold.

The Chiefs’ offensive and defensive line was another hot topic. We praised defensive tackle Mr. Woods, who’s as solid as a rock, but we’re a bit worried about the ends and linebackers.

And then there’s the Buffalo Bills’ new stadium. We couldn’t help but criticize its lack of a roof, obstructed views, and small seating capacity. It’s like they designed it for a game of hide and seek, not football.

Drink of the day: On The Rocks, Margarita

Jonesy and Blanco have somehow found their way back to the bar — shocking absolutely no one. The dynamic duo tackle the hard-hitting topics of body image, bullying, and the evolving nature of societal norms, because nothing pairs better with a cold drink than an existential crisis. They regale each other with hilarious stories about nudie magazines, meat raffles, and the soul-crushing price of gas — the holy trinity of middle-aged male grievances.

From there, Jonesy and Blanco turn their razor-sharp expertise toward the NBA, declaring it a disaster with the kind of confidence only two guys on their third round can muster. Starbucks also takes a beating, as the boys question why anyone should pay $9 for a cup of coffee that tastes like it was brewed in a flip-flop. The conversation somehow evolves into a surprisingly lucid breakdown of global markets and regional gas price inconsistencies — a segment no one asked for but everyone secretly needed.

The boys then pivot to sports, because of course they do. They dissect the Chiefs' 2023 schedule like seasoned analysts — noting eight prime-time games — before completely losing the plot over the Royals, whom they blame entirely on management, the players, the weather, and probably Starbucks.

Drink of the Day: Carbliss Lemon & Lime.

Blanco and Jonesy are back from Vegas! We highlight our stay at the Circa Hotel, the quality of its pool, and the various restaurants. We give you all the culinary high and low lights. Special shout out to Barry’s Steakhouse! Jones shares his experiences coaching youth sports, emphasizing the challenges of managing young athletes. We shout out Kansas City's culinary contributions, such as Wishbone dressing, Arthur Bryant's burnt ends, and the Z-Man sandwich, and call out New York's bogus claim to the New York Strip steak. The Kansas City Royals' suck again. We should have seen it coming. We give a brief preview of the draft. We also show some love to the Negro League Baseball Museum.

Blanco and Jonesy try a gingerbread cocktail made with Jaeger and RumChata. They reminisced about past drinking adventures and shared a story about Jones' brother-in-law's passing. They also talked about their children's activities, including Jones' son playing flag football and being tested for giftedness. Additionally, they shared a Reddit thread about millennials' YOLO moments, including spending on luxury items and experiences. The conversation ended with a discussion about their favorite sneakers and upcoming purchases. Jonesy and Blanco discuss their recent golf shoe purchases, with Jones owning four pairs, including Jordan and Adidas models. The conversation shifts to the NFL, highlighting the Kansas City Chiefs' acquisitions of Kenneth Walker and Justin Fields, and the potential impact on the team's offense. They also discuss the Raiders' trade for Max Crosby and the Packers' signing of Sammy Watkins, expressing mixed feelings about both moves. The discussion concludes with their admiration for Baker Mayfield and his unique place in the NFL. Let’s go Bake Show!

Drink of the day: Cutwater Vodka Mule

Blanco and Jones kick off the show with a Belfast Bomber made with Buffalo Trace bourbon cream instead of Baileys. It was delicious! They discussed the rising price of gold, which has increased from $2,800 to $5,300 per ounce in the past year, and its implications for the economy. Additionally, they shared personal anecdotes about purchasing a new RV and the importance of hygiene, including sunscreen and lotion usage. They also touched on the concept of toxic masculinity and its manifestations in everyday life. Jones and Blanco discuss their competitive experiences, including a heated game night involving darts and pool, and their thoughts on professional sports. They express frustration over the NFL Hall of Fame voting process, particularly the exclusion of Bill Belichick, despite his six Super Bowl wins. They also touch on the MLB Hall of Fame, noting the impact of steroids on voting. The conversation shifts to golf, with Jones planning to get new clubs and discussing a potential two-man scramble league. They conclude by planning a 9-9-9 challenge, involving eating nine hot dogs and drinking nine beers for the upcoming baseball season.