In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Tania Khazaal for a thoughtful and candid conversation about family estrangement, emotional healing, and what it really means to move forward without losing ourselves or the people we love. Tania shares her personal story of cutting off contact with her mother, what brought her back, and how changing the way she understood her mother’s story changed the way she understood herself.

We talk about the rise of what Tania calls “cutoff culture,” the growing tendency to frame distance as healing, and why both parents and adult children may need to build more resilience, compassion, and stronger communication skills to repair relationships. We also explore the role of social media, emotional language, accountability, and what reconciliation can actually look like in practice.

Listen for more on:
• Tania’s journey from estrangement to reconciliation with her mother
• Why understanding a parent’s story can shift how we see our own
• The difference between healing, boundaries, and emotional avoidance
• How social media and “cutoff culture” shape family relationships
• Communication habits that help repair trust and reduce defensiveness
• Tania’s three-stage framework for healing and rebuilding connection

Tune into this episode of Family Troubles for an honest conversation about family, forgiveness, resilience, and the possibility of creating stronger relationships without losing yourself in the process.

Guest Links:
Website: https://taniakhazaal.com/
Instagram: @taniakhazaal
LinkedIn:Tania Khazaal
TikTok: @taniakhazaal
YouTube: Tania Khazaal

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Professor Judith R. Smith to discuss her book, Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children Through Conflict and Change. Drawing from years of research and interviews, Judith explores what it means to parent an adult child struggling with mental illness, addiction, unemployment, estrangement, and ongoing instability.

We talk about the emotional reality many mothers quietly carry, the chronic fear, guilt, exhaustion, ambivalence, and grief that can come with loving a child you cannot “fix.” Judith also challenges common ideas like “tough love” and highlights the larger social systems that leave families carrying impossible burdens alone.

Listen for more on:

• How mothers often tie their sense of self to their children’s wellbeing
• Why “tough love” can fail families facing mental illness or addiction
• The concept of chronic sorrow and ongoing grief in parenting
• How guilt and self blame shape difficult parent-child relationships
• Why small boundaries and self care matter for overwhelmed parents
• The importance of community, support groups, and reducing shame

Tune into this episode of Family Troubles for a thoughtful conversation about difficult parenting, resilience, and finding support in the middle of uncertainty.

Guest Links:
Website: https://www.difficultmothering.com/
Book: Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children Through Conflict and Change
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/difficultmothering/

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Michelle Weiner-Davis to unpack something I see far too often, how divorce can quietly evolve into long-term family estrangement. We explore how these fractures don’t just impact couples, but ripple through entire families, sometimes for decades.

We also get into the role of therapy, communication, and personal narratives in shaping these outcomes. I share insights from my own work (and life), and we talk about what actually helps families stay connected or find their way back to each other.

Listen for more on:

• How divorce can lead to lasting parent-child estrangement
• Why kids taking sides creates long-term family fractures
• The impact of therapy culture on family relationships
• How communication mistakes can block reconciliation
• Why empathy and curiosity matter more than being right
• The simple skills that can rebuild connection

If this episode gave you a new perspective, share it with someone who needs a more hopeful path forward in their family relationships.

Guest Links:
Website: https://www.divorcebusting.com/
Email: michelle@divorcebusting.com

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with journalist and author Mark Pendergrast to unpack one of the most complex and sensitive issues I see in my work: memory. We explore how memories are formed, how they can shift over time, and how certain therapeutic approaches have contributed to deeply painful family estrangements. Mark shares both his research and his personal story of losing contact with his daughters, offering a perspective that is both informed and deeply human.

We talk about the rise of recovered memory claims, why they became so widespread, and what science actually says about how memory works. I also share what I’m seeing in my practice today, from the influence of therapy culture and social media to the many different pathways that can lead to estrangement. This is a nuanced conversation about truth, perception, and the real-world consequences when those lines get blurred.

Listen for more on:

• Why memory is reconstructive and not a perfect recording of the past
• How suggestive therapy techniques can shape or distort memories
• The difference between forgetting something and never having experienced it
• Why some estrangements are rooted in belief, not verifiable events
• The role of modern therapy culture in shaping family narratives
• How to approach these situations with care, curiosity, and openness
• Why preserving the possibility of dialogue matters more than certainty

If this conversation gave you something to think about, tune into the full episode and share it with someone who could benefit from a deeper understanding of family relationships.

Guest Links:
Website: https://www.markpendergrast.com
Book: Victim of Memory: Incest Accusations and Shattered Lives

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with renowned family therapist and sociologist Pauline Boss to explore her groundbreaking concept of ambiguous loss and its powerful relevance to family estrangement. We discuss why some of the most painful losses are the hardest to define and how learning to live with that uncertainty can open the door to healing.

We also challenge the cultural myth of closure, offering a more compassionate and empowering way to understand grief, disconnection, and the complexity of family relationships.

Listen for more on:

• What ambiguous loss is and why it’s central to understanding estrangement
• The difference between guilt and shame and why that distinction matters
• Why the idea of “closure” can be misleading (and even harmful)
• How focusing on your own growth can create the conditions for possible reconnection
• The risks of a culture that encourages cutting off relationships in pursuit of happiness
• Why meaning, not resolution, is the key to moving forward

If this episode speaks to you, give it a listen and don’t forget to subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, and leave a review to help more families find support.

Guest Links:

Website: https://www.ambiguousloss.com/

Book: The Myth Of Closure

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Frank Furstenberg, one of the most influential sociologists of family life, to unpack how modern families are evolving and why parenting today feels harder than ever. We explore how rising inequality, shifting expectations, and longer paths to adulthood are reshaping the bond between parents and children in ways that are both deeply meaningful and, at times, incredibly challenging.

We also get into the “good news, bad news” of modern family life: while many relationships are closer and more emotionally connected than ever before, the pressure, expectations, and stakes have never been higher, sometimes leading to distance, conflict, or even estrangement.

Listen for more on:

• Why parenting today is more expensive, demanding, and longer-lasting
• How inequality is increasing stress and pressure on families
• Why adulthood is delayed and how that impacts parent-child relationships
• How closer, more involved parenting can sometimes lead to tension or distance
• Why estrangement feels more intense today, even if it’s not entirely new
• A hopeful truth: families may be more emotionally connected than ever

If this episode speaks to you, give it a listen and don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review to help more families find support.

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Kristina Scharp, an associate professor at Rutgers University and director of the Family Communication and Relationships Lab. Kristina is one of the leading researchers on family estrangement, and we get into what really drives family distance and how people cope with it.

We talk about how estrangement and alienation are often misunderstood, and how both are part of a bigger picture of family distancing. We also explore how perception shapes conflict, why expectations around family relationships are changing, and what actually helps create the possibility for repair.

Listen for more on:
• How estrangement, alienation, and marginalization are all forms of family distancing
• Why arguing about what really happened often makes conflict worse
• Why choosing connection over being right can shift the relationship
• How taking responsibility can lower defensiveness and rebuild trust
• Why estrangement often includes both relief and grief at the same time
• How changing cultural values are reshaping family relationships

Give this episode a listen, and if it resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, and leave a review to help more families find support.

Guest Links:
Website: https://sci.rutgers.edu/scharp-kristina
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kristina-scharp-80a7667

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-olRqS_o2xJlkpxWEEErg

In this episode of Family Troubles, I sit down with Ruth Whippman, author of BoyMom and America the Anxious, to talk about the pressure modern parents face and how it’s shaping our kids. Ruth brings a cultural lens to parenting and shares how the drive to optimize our children can quietly strain the parent-child relationship.

We get into how this pressure shows up in real life, from constant monitoring to the belief that parents are responsible for their child’s happiness and outcomes. We also explore what it means to raise boys today, the mixed messages they’re receiving about masculinity, and how more care and connection, not control, can lead to healthier development.

Listen for more on:
• How the pressure to create a “perfect” child is increasing anxiety for both parents and kids
• Why trying to control outcomes can actually damage the parent-child relationship
• How constant monitoring and “optimization” can create distance instead of connection
• The conflicting messages boys receive about masculinity and identity today
• Why boys often need more emotional support but tend to receive less
• How early nurturing and connection shape empathy, resilience, and healthy development

Give this episode a listen, and if it resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, and leave a review to help more families find support.

Guest Links:
Instagram: @ruthwhippman
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruth-whippman-94b89511/
Substack: https://ruthwhippman.substack.com/
Books: BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity
-America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness Is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks

Dr. Joshua Coleman’s Links:
Website: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.josh.coleman
Substack: https://substack.com/@joshuacolemanphd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrJoshColeman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjoshuacoleman/?trk=opento_sprofile_topcard
Twitter X: https://x.com/drjcoleman